Dear Debt,
Sometimes I feel so behind and like I will never catch up. I am almost 30 and I have a negative net worth in the forty thousands. At one time, I was ahead, but I chose to stay with you. Add more of you. I felt like you could offer me the world. I projected all my hopes and dreams on to you.
You’ve stolen my dreams. All my hopes are seen through a black veil and a quick reality check that is constantly reminding me that I can’t really afford anything.
If I could only go one day without thinking of you, I’d find some relief. It can be overwhelming, so I try to medicate myself with booze, friends, coffee, travel and denial. I don’t want to be left alone with you.
I am scared of who I am around you. I want to find out who I am without you. Who am I without debt?
I’m trying to be stronger. Even though paying you off still feels insurmountable, I have already paid off $34,000. I’ve come this far; I’d be a fool to give up now.
So I will continue trudging along, with the signature lows and celebrate the small victories. It will be a while, but I will overcome this.
I am not alone, and I am exactly where I need to be.
Love,
M