I’m about to cry.
I’m about to cry the crazy type of tears not because I’m sad but because I’m so angry and frustrated.
I’m about to cry because some days I just don’t know what else to do. I feel like everything has been done to divorce you, yet you’re still here. The worst part is knowing I invited you through the door without even realizing it. You sort of put a foot in as I was trying to close it, the rushed in, ransacked my home, slapped me around while chained to a chair, then ate all my food.
You’re still here.
But, I’m done crying now. Can’t suffer that shame forever.
You’re no longer welcome. I found a case hardened steel file in my brain, and I’m sawing back and forth on that chain right now while you’re getting fat and not paying attention. It’s taking forever, and it feels like there is no hope or progress. Chains are like that — you’re either in them or not in them, and halfway doesn’t count for anything.
When I finish sawing, my wrists will be bloody and I’ll be severely fatigued — perhaps near death.
But, I will break out because something inside me can’t accept this. Jump up. I’ll slap the shit out of you when I’m done. I will grab you by the hair and drag you down the hall to shove you out the same way you came in. Like I said, you’re no longer welcome.
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1 comment
Wow that’s intense! Goes to show you how powerful that feeling can be. 🙁