A lot of personal finance bloggers write about net worth. I am not one of them. If you follow this blog, you know I am still in loads of debt (circa 44k now compared to 81k), so I don’t think it’s necessary to write about my net worth.
It would be a hilariously large, negative number.
I don’t own a car, a house, have nothing of financial value, and I’ve depleted my savings. When I look at my financial value, I can easily get depressed and think I’m so behind, and that I have nothing after almost 30 years on the planet.
Although I have no noteworthy material possessions, I have to remember that I’ve had a lot of amazing experiences, most of them travel and work related. I’m also rich in love and friendship, and in my eyes that is priceless.
Everyday I have to tell myself that my self-worth is not my net worth. I am defined outside of my income, outside of my possessions, outside of my job. Our society places so much value on these things, it’s really hard to separate yourself from those identifications.
I know this because recently my side hustle income has been the worst it has been in months. I’ve made $100 extra this month out of my $400 per month goal. I’m looking for work, applying and trying to hustle and I’ve come back with nothing.
For two years I was also looking for a full-time job and I was struggling to find that, too. My confidence was shaken, and even though I have found a job, I’m still dealing with those ramifications as well.
It’s hard to work really hard at something and feel like you are going nowhere. I am trying to look at things differently, try new tactics and be open to possibilities. I am also telling myself it’s okay if I don’t meet my goal. A goal is something to strive for, but it’s not the end of the world if you don’t meet it. We live in a world where a lot of things are dependent on others. In the end someone needs to hire me to have extra work. I may send out emails, make follow-up calls, but if people don’t respond, there is only so much I can do.
To not go insane from the radio silence, you have to keep going. Be your own source of confidence outside all the external meanings and definitions. I’m learning that is really hard to do. I’ve always seen myself as a hustler, but if I’m not hustling successfully, who am I? I want to get to know that person better. I want to find comfort in the uneasy, and not languish in the unpredictable.
In the end, your self-worth is not your net worth. How much you make or how much you have in the bank doesn’t make you a good person. It doesn’t mean you are better or worse off than someone else. We all have our own goals and dreams, and that is what we need to be defining ourselves by. At this point, my main dream is to be debt free. I’d rather have a net worth of $0 than my laughable negative number. I can’t wait to pocket all the money I am now throwing toward debt. I want to learn to relax, share the wealth and reach my full potential. Money is a tool and it doesn’t mean everything. But for me, money means freedom of choice, more opportunities and less fear.
Do you ever compare your self-worth to your net worth? For my debt fighting warriors, how do you deal when things are slow?