I miss my ex-lover, Savings

by Melanie

For a long time, I had a great relationship with Savings.  He was big, strong, and made me feel safe at night.

I moved to New York City with $14,000 in Savings and left New York with $10,000 in savings.  After 2 years of struggling to find a full-time job, I was glad that Savings was there to help me out.

Once I got back on my feet, I realized that having all that money just sitting there wasn’t really doing much for me. I was getting quite bored with the relationship.  My debt kept nagging at me and started to ignite a fire in me. I wanted it gone and it wasn’t going away quick enough.

Slowly, I started chipping away at Savings and spending less time with him. I put my energy towards Debt and started to see the positive results. It was exhilarating.

After becoming very serious about this dangerous bad boy, Debt, I’ve nearly depleted all my Savings.  We are definitely not passionate lovers anymore, and just barely friends.

Now, I only have $1500 in Savings, and I am OK with that. I feel secure in my job and am now insured. I have side hustled quite a lot to continue paying over 1k a month on my student loans, but as you can see I’ve depleted over $8k from Savings to pay off Debt in the past year.

I’m now at the end of my rope with Savings. I can no longer comfortably take from him and not feel guilty, let alone survive. I have to work that much harder to make more money and stretch my dollar.

Things have changed so much between us. I use to feel sick to my stomach if my checking account had less than $1,000. Having $10k in the bank felt like ultimate security.

My priorities shifted.

I couldn’t have ultimate security and pay off my debt as soon as possible.

I had to choose one. I could stay with the safe, “nice guy” Savings, or go into this volatile relationship and pursue Debt aggressively.  At the time, it felt like a risk, but it was also really exciting.

It was a hard decision but to be honest, most days I really miss Savings.  I miss the good times, the security and compassion.  If you love someone, sometimes you have to let them go.

I hope to reconnect with Savings one day—but now, the timing just isn’t right. One thing is true though; I’ll always love him.

Melanie
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27 comments

Laurie @thefrugalfarmer November 13, 2013 - 12:22 pm

LOVE this. 🙂 Unfortunately for me, savings is the guy I’ve always wanted but never had, I think in part because I felt he was too good for me. But now, I’m courting him carefully and slowly, all the while still going hot and heavy with my own bad boy, Massive Debt. How exciting! 😉

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deardebt November 13, 2013 - 3:47 pm

He is not too good for you! You deserve the best, Laurie 🙂 Congrats on making it work with both of them.

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Amanda November 13, 2013 - 3:03 pm

I have a love affair with my Savings account too.

Even though I have a huge amount of debt ($60,000+), I’ve been hesitant to pay it down faster than they make me because I feel like I need the “savings” buffer. I’d rather have the money somewhere I can access if needed, because I have needed in the past, and may need it again in the near future (my current job is only a contract until April).

Hopefully you two lovebirds can be reunited one day soon!

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deardebt November 13, 2013 - 3:46 pm

Girl, I feel ya! It took me a LONG time to feel comfortable doing this. My savings was both my security blanket but also my real-life buffer with contract work, etc.

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Budget and the Beach November 13, 2013 - 3:28 pm

I’ve been trying to “get back together” with Savings for awhile. I think he’s kind of pissed and hurt I neglected him so long so it’s been an up and down relationship over the last year or so. I think we will be OK though. 🙂

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deardebt November 13, 2013 - 3:45 pm

One day, I’ll know we’ll be reunited! I know you can mend your relationship with him too.

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anna November 13, 2013 - 5:16 pm

I think I would have done the same as you (transfer $8k of savings into debt), but no worries, you and savings will be homies again! That’s really impressive that you saved $14k prior to grad school, so no doubt you have the discipline it takes to build it up again!

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deardebt November 14, 2013 - 1:51 am

I saved that much on a 38k yearly salary while living alone in LA! I could hardly believe it either. It’s hard to not be there, but I know I will be there someday.

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Grayson @ Debt Roundup November 13, 2013 - 5:33 pm

Good article. One thing that I did, as I was in your position, was to create a payoff/savings plan. Yes, it is unconventional, but it works!

As I started paying off my debt, I took all of my extra income and put 90% toward debt and 10% toward saving. Yes, this means you will take longer to pay down debt, but you will also be better off once you finish your debt payment.

As the debt payoff timeframe goes by, you continually move the percentages. By the time I was done, I was paying 30% toward debt and 70% toward saving.

It doesn’t work for everyone, but it did really well for me.

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deardebt November 14, 2013 - 1:50 am

I am saving about 8% of my income, so I am still contributing. I just have realized it won’t be where it was until I am debt free. I can’t wait to feel more comfortable moving the percentages, but for now I put a small percent aside and try to attack debt.

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Girl Meets Debt November 13, 2013 - 5:56 pm

I’ve never even “met” Savings before but this aggressive attitude towards Debt won’t see me or you losing! Savings is awesome but paying interest on debt is horrible. I guess it’s a personal choice. 😉

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deardebt November 14, 2013 - 1:48 am

You will meet him one day and it will be enchanting! Interest is the real killer in both of the relationships! Ugh.

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Abigail November 13, 2013 - 6:32 pm

When I met my husband, I went straight into attack mode on debt. Then again, we had no savings, but I didn’t even bother with an emergency fund. I wanted it all to go to debt.

We do now have savings, and I don’t think I could give it up. Except that there are some bills that annoy me. Things we could pay off slowly over time at 0% interest but… I hate them hanging over my head. So we may take some out and just get it over with. But I’m hoping my yearly bonus (assuming I get one) will cover them. That’d be a nice compromise.

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deardebt November 14, 2013 - 1:47 am

It’s like once you have a taste, you don’t want to give it up! That’s why I miss Savings so much! Hopefully you will get a yearly bonus….I don’t even know what that is!

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Morgaine November 13, 2013 - 9:23 pm

I’ve never been much of a saver (kudos to you for being able to save $14K!) much more of a spender. However, when I started to become serious about learning about pf and taking control my money I started saving. I was able to save $25K for our house downpayment but whenever I was able to save a bit for emergencies I would see that money “just sitting there” and my debt accumulating interest and it would literally drive me crazy! So, I used savings to pay off the last of my c/c debt. Now we owe on a LOC for home renos and I’ve decided to throw everything I’ve got at that instead of saving. So right now my relationship with saving is on hold but I hope to rekindle the fire big time next year!

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deardebt November 14, 2013 - 1:47 am

Yeah, it was awesome to save that much on such a low salary while living in LA. Congrats to you for saving so much for a house! Once you resume your relationship with Savings, it will be on fire!

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Tara @ Streets Ahead Living November 14, 2013 - 12:04 am

That’s a hard battle for me too–my husband and I have a decent savings amount but are afraid to put it towards my debt. Perhaps I need to shake this paranoia though as getting that debt paid down faster would be so much better for us both in the long run.

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deardebt November 14, 2013 - 1:45 am

It’s a hard decision to make and one to make carefully. I only did it after finding full-time work and being insured. I also side hustle a decent amount, which helps my confidence.

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Micro November 13, 2013 - 10:50 pm

I’ll admit, I’ve been your typical jerk guy. I’ve been carrying on a relationship with both of these individuals at the same time. I have been doing this for quite a while. I know savings is the person I want to be with long term but I’m not ready to let go of debt just quite yet. It’s unfair to savings and hopefully one day, I can be the guy she deserves…

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deardebt November 14, 2013 - 1:45 am

Player! You are the guy she deserves, you just need to cut debt out of the picture 🙂

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dojo November 14, 2013 - 3:13 pm

Well, as long as you didn’t change him with another guy (say SHOPPING), you’re doing well. The savings are there to provide you with a cushion, if you’re in a better place paying off more debt, then it’s money well spent. You can resume your love affair with SAVINGS once you’re doing better with debt payment 😉

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Lisa E. @ Lisa Vs. The Loans November 15, 2013 - 10:32 pm

Oh my gosh I absolutely love this! I miss savings, too :*( But I know this focus on debt is temporary and savings is where I’ll end up, eventually 😉

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deardebt November 16, 2013 - 6:52 pm

Yes, me too! I can’t wait.

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Cash Cow Couple November 17, 2013 - 2:06 pm

Entertaining tale here! We also love savings, but we’re like you. We’re moving away from having a big chunk of cash. The real problem with holding cash is the fact that it loses value over time because of inflation. Gotta have those dollars earning some interest!

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deardebt November 18, 2013 - 3:55 pm

Really, the Savings isn’t cutting it anymore!

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Michelle November 18, 2013 - 6:59 am

Savings and I have never really been as close as we should have been. Savings is the equivalent of my relationship Jon Legend or Rafael Nadal. I keep chasing them but I can’t catch them. Elusive. So elusive. I love this post and will listen to Radiohead’s Song Talk Show Host the next time I read it.

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deardebt November 18, 2013 - 3:54 pm

Haha, you are so cute. I love Radiohead’s Talk Show Host, one of my fav songs ever!!! We definitely need to meet and listen to music together.

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