This Dear Debt letter is from Erin at Red Debted Stepchild. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting her in person, and she’s hilarious and awesome!  She’s also a finalist for the Plutus Awards’ Most Humorous Personal Finance blog! Congrats, girl.

Dear Debt,

It’s not you, it’s me. No, like seriously. After all, I ran you up. I used you and used you and now it’s my turn to feel the pain.

We had a great run — shopping and eating out all the time, throwing caution and delayed gratification to the wind. But what we have isn’t healthy. I just don’t feel the same way about you anymore.

You didn’t do anything wrong. I made choices that put us in a relationship that makes me sick to my stomach. I used you and you let me do it. Even now, I think you were okay, maybe even pleased, with how many times I used you for my own gain. But I can’t do this anymore. Frankly, we both deserve better. And as much as it pains me to say this, there is someone else.

I know, I know — I led you on just to fall for something better. You probably thought we’d be together forever. That I would continue to swipe, borrow, and pay interest until we were old and gray. But I met someone. His name is Financial Independence, and he’s better for me. He wants me to be happy and free. It’s just a healthier situation all around. And not to get any digs in, but he is way more attractive than you.

So now, I take the slow and painful steps to erase you from my life. I know it sounds harsh, but know that I will always remember you. I will remember the good times we had and I will remember the pain I now have to endure as a consequence of all that “fun”. Please ignore the mean comments I make about you on my blog, Twitter, and Facebook. I’m just hurting.

I really hope you don’t find anyone else, for their sake. You were born to be a bachelor.




Melanie is a freelance writer currently living in Portland, Oregon. She is passionate about education, financial literacy, and empowering people to take control of their finances. She writes about breaking up with debt, freelancing, and side hustle adventures at

Currently she puts more than 50% of her income towards debt, while living a frugal, fun life. In addition to her love of personal finance, art and music, she is also a karaoke master. Follow the adventure @DearDebtBlog.

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21 responses to “It’s not you, it’s me by Erin @ Red Debted Stepchild”

  1. A smile in my face appeared while reading this letter of yours to your debt. Don’t worry your debt will do fully understand you Erin! Good luck!
    Clarrise @ Make Money Your Way recently posted…September blog income and stats recapMy Profile

  2. Oooh I’ve heard about Mr. Financial Independence! He’ super sexy! 🙂
    Budget and the Beach recently posted…Financial “Things” I’ve Never RegrettedMy Profile

  3. Interesting take on this! I wrote something similar a while back ( and it’s interesting to see the perspective differences.
    Leslie Beslie recently posted…Week Of 9/23: Birthdays, Comic Expo, and Playing Tour GuideMy Profile

  4. I love the part about ‘how you will always remember’ – ain’t that the truth. I don’t think I’ll forget the bitter taste of debt anytime soon! Thanks for a fab read Erin!
    Hayley @ A Disease Called Debt recently posted…Don’t wait to pay off your debt!My Profile

  5. You can do it! He’s so not worth it!
    Amanda @ Passionately Simple Life recently posted…October Goals and Some Link Love…My Profile

  6. Haha, totally awesome letter. Feels like my relationship with carbs. Though I’m not so good about making a clean break 🙂
    Stefanie @ The Broke and Beautiful Life recently posted…Money Manners: Property DamageMy Profile

  7. Michelle says:

    I can’t wait to meet Mr. Financial Independence! This post made me giggle a little bit…

  8. Karen says:

    Well written post, Erin! I love how it almost sounds like a real life relationship with a person. Although I’ve never really had my run with him, I heard Debt can be a douchebag. Haha.
    Karen recently posted…I Refuse To Be a Slave to TechnologyMy Profile

  9. LOVE this, Erin. Well said, my friend. Well said, and I can’t help but think of George Costanza when I read it. 🙂
    Laurie @thefrugalfarmer recently posted…Starting Your Marriage on the Right Financial FootingMy Profile

  10. Frugal says:

    Debt level is just astronomical, banks do everything to continue it. It is just crazy wonderland we live in

  11. […] Debt had a great letter from Erin over at Red-Debted Stepchild to her debt.  The post is called, It’s Not You, It’s Me.  Great writing  and motivation […]

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