Here we are at another start of another month. A new beginning. A fresh start. I’m excited to try to rock November and make some changes in my life so I can be happy, rested, creative and fulfilled.
October was not bad, it was just stressful and seemed to drag on. I felt like I didn’t have my head on straight. It was hard to focus and hard to stay in the moment.
I was always thinking of the future, or dwelling on the past, or letting Larry David get too far into my head. I’m trying to practice more mindfulness and gratitude and let go of perfectionism and OCD. It’s so very hard, but I know that’s what I need to do. Let go.
I think I have too much mental clutter. Though I espouse the benefits of minimalism and live with very little stuff, I seem to have a lot of mental clutter that needs to get disregarded.
I suppose some of it was exacerbated by the fact that October was an emotional month for me. It was my birthday month, which always gets me reflective in a certain kind of way.
In addition, there’s been some big changes for my family. My 93-year old grandpa recently moved from Michigan to live with my parents in California, after his wife passed away. That of course is a huge transition — but the good news is that I will now be going home for Thanksgiving for the first time in nine years, so we can all spend time together. I cannot wait as this will be the first time my partner will meet my grandpa, who I think is the coolest person ever.
In addition to that, I received some bad news about a friend that has affected me deeply. My friend is suffering from cancer. I am just in shock as they are not much older than me and it feels so wrong.
It’s in these moments that you really start looking at your life. I’ve been filled with questions that I can’t answer.
What is my purpose in life?
How can I live every day to the fullest?
Am I doing everything I can to be happy?
Yeah, I’m in total existential mode — which is why I guess I’ve been a bit quiet. I don’t know what to say. I don’t have the answers. Focusing everything on money seems silly when Real Problems arise.
But I’m moving along. I’m making things happen. Trying to find some balance in the hustle and enjoying all that life has to offer while keeping up with my debt repayment goals.
This month I put $3,300.02 toward debt. The two cents was to kill off the final interest on one of my loans! My current numbers:
Undergraduate loan: $4,791.52
Graduate loan: $9,171.08
I’ve been using the avalanche method of focusing on highest interest debt first. For me, the math just made sense. My undergrad loans were relatively small at 2.3% while my graduate loans had nearly triple the balance of my undergrad loans, with interest rates of 6.8% and 7.9%. In short, it was costing me too much money! At its highest, my interest was costing me $11 per day, so I knew that I had to knock this thing down.
My goal for the next two months is to continue paying off my debt at this pace and learn to relax and enjoy life. Try to be happier. I guess I also have a case of the blahs — the rainy season has officially hit Portland and the constant gray really does a number on me. Also, I’m not excited about it getting dark so early, but I have to remember that seasons change.
It’s time to turn a new leaf!
What are your goals this month?