Time is just flying by. I can feel the year whizzing by me as I blink and realize it’s Mid-March. This year has been a blur, filled with hard work and hustling, good times and bad. Things are starting to settle, ever so slowly, as I attempt to search for that elusive balance.
One thing that is perpetually on my mind these days is the move. Though we have six months to sort out all the details, it feels weird to have a date set. Everything could change for all I know, but as of now, we will be leaving Portland.
It feels so weird, because I’ve been ready to go. But now that little voice in my head keeps popping up.
Is it the right time?
Do you really want to move somewhere more expensive?
Are you ready for even more change?
But then some semblance of rationality creeps in.
There is never a good time.
I have to remember this as I try to convince myself otherwise. Like so many big decisions in life, there is never a good time.
There is never a good time to have kids, or to quit your job, or to move across country. If we all waited for the right time, then I’m afraid that day would never come. If I waited for the right time, I would have never left LA or gone to New York, or gotten my master’s degree. I would have never quit my job.
Sure, there are better times to do things than others — like when you have a fully funded emergency fund or are debt free. But I firmly believe I can’t hold back all of my life decisions for a few more years until I’m debt free.
I’ll make myself miserable and Lord knows I haven’t been the happiest of campers lately.
All of this got me thinking. What else in my life am I waiting for that right time? Like that e-book I said I would write, or that novel filled with stories this blog will never see. But I haven’t written a word on those things, because I’ve been paid to write other words for other people. And for that, I’m so grateful, but I have to say no to this good time business, because the time is now.
I want to make sure I am living life to the fullest and reaching my full potential. Isn’t that what being your own boss is all about? I don’t want to feel like I’m still just working for others, using it as a means to an end, towards debt freedom. Because at that rate, I’m bound to have (yet) another existential crisis once I’m debt free.
There has to be more and it has to be now. Time only goes forward, not backward, so I want to grasp these moments and make them mine. Be content with my decisions and embrace all life’s messiness and not be paralyzed with fear about what will happen.
Because no one knows. Our life is a book that has yet to be written. I want to make sure I keep turning the page and not let my book collect dust.
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15 comments
I agree with you! I remember when I was pregnant with Will my OB told me there wasn’t a good time to have a kid because when we are younger we have the energy but not the money and when we are older we have the money but not the energy. When I started my company, I definitely could and probably should have waited a little longer, but it was a passion that I just couldn’t avoid. I knew I would make it work no matter what and I know you will do the same.
So true! I think following your passion was the right thing to do. It’s also never a good time to start a business! We could all just wait for the right time, but like I said, I’m sure that day would never come.
It does feel like you can never wait for that perfect time. We all need to take risks…calculated risks, but risks. I hope you find some answers as to where to move soon!
August is our deadline! So we’ll know then…
Never, ever.
We moved house this weekend (we had a deadline to move by April and honestly was not sure we were gonna find anywhere), so I hear you on stressful and painful changes.
It’s so hard but if you can try to choose happiness wherever you can during this time <3 Even when things are absolutely miserable. Like T said to me (I really didn't want to hear it at the time, I was so broken and wanted to curl up in a corner and cry/die, or put my shoes on and run for a very long time, away from him/the house) we choose how we react to things. Sometimes there's nothing for it but to fall apart but sometimes if you're feeling strong you can chin up and soldier on, and even look for the silver lining if there is one.
Ugh, sounds stressful! I know these moments define us, but how we react is what helps shape the experience. I’m trying to stay sane and calm! Hope things settle for you, too.
Couldn’t agree more. It’s always dangerous to plunge blindly, but you can’t wait for the right moment,
We were still in debt from medical bills. I was on disability, and my husband was on unemployment — and that was ending in a few months. But my husband’s health was only getting worse.
So we moved 1,500 miles to Phoenix. It set us back around $2,009. But we had significantly fewer doctors visits as his skin improved and he therefore stopped getting MRSAinfections. Plus we never had to worry whether he could wear clothes on any given day.
So it was both the absolute best and worst time to move. But it had to be done. And it worked out.
Word.
That was deep. I totally agree. Sometimes I’ve jumped too fast. Sometimes I’ve hesitated too long. But I’d still rather jump than languish in fear and doubt. Great points!
I agree! If we keep waiting for the right time, then it would never come. Best to plan a little, plan ahead, then jump ahead to the awaiting opportunity.
I love your attitude about change. I agree there is never a good time for a lot of things. Waiting around for a good time can translate into wasting your own time and holding yourself back. I’m moving in June and I have a lot to do before then so I understand completely what you’re feeling.
I’ve felt like this in so many different situations in my life. Whether it be school, moving states to a new school, or going off abroad to teach English. I feel like I’m never going at the right time, but when is the right time? I try not to worry about that anymore. Now I just go with the flow of things and I’m trying to become more confident in my decisions.
What a great point. For the past few years I’ve been putting things off and waiting for the “right” time to do things, but that time has never come. I just keep procrastinating. Thanks for the reminder to step out of my comfort zone and make some changes.
I love this one Melanie! This is totally an eye opener to me, usually, I always tell myself that I will just wait for the right time and I think I should make an action now.
It is so hard to pinpoint where we should exert control over the story of our lives and where we should surrender in trust that a chapter is being written that we could not have come up with on our own. I really appreciate the honesty with which you tell your story, and I believe that with you in the driver’s seat, your move out of Portland will work out wonderfully.