I’m rested. I have coffee in hand and overall have had a very nice weekend. It’s the first weekend in a long time that hasn’t been filled to the brim with plans. I have returned from my jaunt to Iceland, I have a reprieve from visitors, and I am not walking any invisible dogs for grand openings of pet stores (my most recent Brand Ambassador shenanigan).
So far 2013 has been, well interesting….I started the year off with the fervor and fiery passion that most people who want to completely overhaul their life do. And like most people, somewhere caught in the plans and tedium of daily life, I’ve lost my original fervor.
This makes me sad.
I don’t want to fall back into old patterns and habits. As I mentioned earlier, I want to continue having this be The Year of Being Uncomfortable. I want to push myself, create, love, enjoy, and explore.
As someone who has worked in education, I found myself pushing students to try, create, and pursue new things with unabashed confidence, without the concern of judgment or consequences.
Why can’t I give myself the same advice?
Is it because I am older and I should know better? Do I feel like I have to have everything figured out by now? Do I feel like I am too old to learn and fail? Or is it that I am so obsessed with finding a job and paying off my debt that I can’t even think of anything else?
It’s probably a little of everything. I can’t let my nearsightedness affect my future goals, interests and success. I have to think BIG PICTURE. I have to let go of some things to live the life I want.
I was talking with my partner, who also has student loan debt. He is proud of me for wanting to pay off my debt so quickly, but doesn’t share the I-need-to-do-this-as-soon-as-possible-like-yesterday feeling that I have. He wants to pay off his debt as much as he can, when he can. He then said something that struck me.
“The true victimization of debt is when it affects your quality of life”
I thought about this for a long time and I thought to myself, do I consider myself a victim? Am I closing myself off to other opportunities because of my debt? I know he wasn’t saying that I shouldn’t care about my debt or that I should buy whatever I want, when I want.
It’s more of a psychological thing. If you think you are a victim, you are a victim.
How can I empower myself to be the one in control? How can I do this with so many economic variables that currently seem out of reach?
Change my attitude.
I can and will pay off this debt and I can accomplish my goals, my dreams and have a decent lifestyle. I want to re-assess my priorities and interests. All the new years resolutions and monthly goal setting is too much for me. I feel like I don’t know what my life will look like in a month from now.
Things change quickly around here.
So I have decided to make a weekly goal. This week, I will:
- Meditate 3x
- Go to yoga 1x
- Write 4 posts for blog
- Apply for 3 career jobs
- Apply for 5 side hustle jobs
- Attend a networking event
Just writing it out feels better. Weekly goals seem more manageable for me than monthly, or say yearly goals. As in personal finance, the most important thing when setting goals is doing what is right for you. There are no rules, right or wrong.
Do what works, what feels right. Figuring out what does work or feels right is a process that also comes from trial and error.
So here I go!