I Mean Business

Hi everyone! While I’m exploring new terrain in Spain and Portugal and getting some much needed rest, enjoy this fantastic dear debt letter by Erin! Erin is a pop culture enthusiast hailing from West Virginia. She works in media, has a fond appreciation for lima beans and maintains a healthy dose of curiosity and wanderlust. Check out her blog and follow her on Twitter!

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Dear Debt,

I didn’t know about you until I graduated college and joined the real world. Just like the bad economy and lack of jobs, you were a surprise.

At first, you were a tiny nuisance—$3,500 that I owed my parents for the blessed summer spent studying and interning abroad. I figured I’d get to you when I started making money. Compared to the large payback sum my brother owed for college, you were a pittance.

Little did I know jobs would be so scarce and my desperation for anything paid and full-time would force me to move hundreds of miles away for a poverty-level paycheck. Moving expenses occurred, giving me my first taste of you in the consumer world.

When my first post-college Christmas came, I felt I could finally buy my family decent gifts. Over a grand later, I was suffering from sticker shock. I didn’t make enough to pay you off and I hadn’t realized how fast you accumulated after the move.

I worked hard to pay you down.

And then I had to move two more times in a 6-month period. First to a new living situation, and then to a new town and a new job.

The new town’s cost of living was double what I’d been used to. The increase in salary was barely enough to cover rent and utilities. Fixed costs took up 75 percent of my budget. I felt suffocated and trapped, with little room for improvement. At the small company where I worked, substantial extra funds and raises weren’t part of the deal.

At first I ignored you, because it was easier. But then I realized I’d never get ahead in life if I always had you holding onto my ankle, pulling me under. Deciding to quit you, I strapped down and started to make real headway.

Life, however, had other ideas. A new love entered my life. Long-distance love. I felt the sting of high gas prices as I filled my car more often to see him. I was spending money for us to eat out, helped pay for trips and gave gifts I really couldn’t afford. The haze of love and fun clouded my judgment and I pretended not to care. Before I knew it, your balance was higher than ever before and you seemed proud of my defeat.

Sadly, I did feel defeated by you, especially after I quit my job without a plan, knowing I needed to find a better location and job. I had money saved, but I refused to put it toward you. It was my safety net for my next venture.

When luck came my way and a wonderful new opportunity presented itself, I used the savings first. Moving, getting set up in a new town and waiting two weeks for my first paycheck quickly depleted savings and made me reach for you out of desperation. My social life was active and full and I wanted to participate as much as possible, so I turned a blind eye to the ramifications of relying on you to help me fit in.

You were a bad habit I couldn’t quit.

Things finally got out of control when my new card, opened solely for emergencies, had been used for everything but. I made a plan and decided to pay you down, once and for all.
It’s been a long road, with unexpected expenses popping up along the way, but each month I reassess my battle plan for kicking you out and each month I remain hopeful that soon, you’ll no longer have a grasp on my life. Soon, I will have you under control and I will have learned how to properly handle consumer debt. Because I am stronger than you. And this time, I mean business.

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Melanie

Melanie Lockert is the founder of the blog and author of the book, Dear Debt. Through her blog, she chronicled her journey out of $81,000 in student loan debt. She is also the co-founder of the Lola Retreat, which helps bold women face their fears, own their dreams and figure out a plan to be in control of their finances. She is passionate about empowering women, helping others get out of debt, and focuses on the intersection of debt and mental health. Every September she organizes a Suicide Prevention Awareness Blog Tour, to help share resources for those struggling with debt and suicide. In addition to her love of personal finance, art and music, she is also a karaoke master and a cat mom to Miles and Thelonious.

Latest posts by Melanie (see all)

• Talking About Money and Mental Health - September 12, 2022
• Dear Debt, We’re Better Apart - June 27, 2022
• Announcing The Mental Health and Wealth Summit - May 4, 2021