This post is part of The Gift of Debt Series an eight-day, multi-blogger extravaganza hosted by The Fiscal Flamingo. The series is designed to give you the permission to kick up your heels, embrace your debt with glee and look forward to finding the gold at the end of the rainbow. Follow along in the series as we tell the story of our gift and encourage you to find yours.
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Dear Debt,
I’ve been meaning to write this letter for a while, but I couldn’t find the words. After six years of cursing your name all over town and letting everyone know how much I hate you, I wanted to let you in on a secret.
I don’t actually hate you.
I hate my relationship with you, but I don’t hate you. I’ve spent so much time focusing on how you have brought me down, I’ve neglected to see the good that you brought me.
You have given me an education full of life-changing experiences, critical thinking skills, New York, the drive to pursue my passion and the clarity to pursue my dreams. You have also hindered some of those very dreams, but overall you propelled me to pursue a lot of my life goals. I got to cross so many off the list because of you.
After years of being on an emotional roller-coaster with you, I want to thank you. I want to thank you for teaching me the value of hard work. Ever since we got together, I knew I had to hustle to make it work between us. I couldn’t rest on my laurels hoping everything would work out. I had to take action. I needed to show myself that I could pursue my dreams and be the woman I was meant to be. You gave me a path and taught me a few tricks along the way.
Without you, I would have never been so inspired to try new things, explore possibilities, and engage with people in new ways. Before you, complacency and comfort were my destiny. I stayed in my comfort zone, isolating myself from the bigger picture. Since we’ve met, I’ve been so inspired and motivated to be the best version of myself.
I used to see myself as better than certain jobs and more successful than others. I’ve been completely humbled by you. I’ve learned to let go of my ego and think about our partnership. I rolled up my sleeves and got my hands dirty cleaning up after wealthier people, cleaning toilets, picking up trash, and taking care of someone else’s kid. I am now more empathetic to those silent pioneers that are holding up the world, doing the invisibilized, but very important dirty work. I’m connected to the working class, because I am working to make a better life for us.
As you know, it hasn’t always been easy. I’ve resented what you have done to me and I wanted to give up completely. The adjustment and learning curve proved to be too much.
But at the end of the day, you were my turning point. I moved from thought to action, I’ve pursued dreams and here I am writing about our relationship for all the world to see. You have made me a better person and for that I thank you. I want to thank you for making me who I am today; a fighter, a worker, a dreamer, a go-getter, and an inspired writer. I couldn’t have done it without you.
Love,
Melanie
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12 comments
Debt can teach us many lessons. The most valuable of all, I believe, is because of debt, we are forced to re-assess our finances and emerge better in handling it hence we are able to appreciate the true value of money especially if it is hard-earned.
Yes, it really does force you to re-evaluate everything. I’ve learned so many lessons from it!
Beautiful letter, Melanie! This is pretty much how I feel about my debt. Without it I wouldn’t have been who I am today.
Thanks, Eva! 🙂 It was cathartic for me to write this letter.
Wonderfully written and eloquent, M!! Such a great perspective of the things that you did gain, and you, my dear, are the epitome of hard work with all your side hustles in addition to main gig!
Oh thank you! I feel like I need to work harder, haha. I did nothing work related this weekend and it felt amazing.
I think your letter is awesome Melanie! It’s bitter sweet just like the relationship with debt. Through accumulating debt, we have wonderful experiences which make us strive for more – and then all of a sudden, debt becomes the stumbling block getting in the way of success. The only option after this is to overcome debt once and for all. Debt has taught me a valuable lesson about hard work also – it’s been the longest ever lesson I’ve learned!
Glad you enjoyed and feel the same way. It’s a long, hard lesson. We wish we could learn lessons on our own, but sometimes we need a kick in the butt to really get it 🙂
Thank you for such a motivational, inspirational, kick-ass letter Melanie! :”I’ve been completely humbled by you” is a line from your letter that really stood out to me because it’s so true for me as well…I sometimes wondered if I didn’t have debt, how different my personality/life would be…There would certainly be no GMD that’s for sure. 😛
Glad you enjoyed! 🙂 It felt really nice to write this one. I have to keep it in perspective and keep in mind the good things it did bring me. I do think I would be a completely different person without debt. Meeting you and all my pf friends has been worth it!
That was a great letter. Debt isn’t a bad thing until you abuse it. I don’t hate debt either but like you said I hate the relationship.
Thanks for your comment, Romona! It’s a tumultuous relationship!