Hi Friends. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I just returned to Portland after spending 4 glorious days in San Francisco. Are you feeling a bit of the post-holiday blahs? Well, we have an awesome Dear Debt letter from Sofia at Caviar and Quarters. Enjoy! If you are interested in writing a Dear Debt letter, get in touch!
Dear Debt,
I am up pretty late writing you this letter because I was experiencing another sleepless, teary eyed night in bed. These usually occur when I visit my parent’s home and as it turns out it’s the tail end of Thanksgiving weekend. Coming home I am reminded that because of you I had to move back into my parent’s home & take a job I hated at 22. It’s six years later and yes I have moved out of my childhood home with a new job, but along you came, tagging along, 700 miles away. I am much closer now to being done with you once and for all, but it’s been a rocky road. This holiday season I will finally be paying off those first two Bank of America credit cards I opened up as a college student. But I can’t help but feel regret about all the things I have missed out on because of you. The past six years have been all about you and I am sick of it. It’s been affecting my relationship with my partner, family and myself. My gf and I had and still have so many goals in mind to accomplish in our twenties: a road trip to the West coast, a trip to Europe some day, saving up a three-month emergency fund, all postponed because I have you in my life, Debt. I have changed my own behavior drastically since really focusing on getting rid of you. No more “feel good” trips to Target, I rarely go into CVS by myself anymore, because I don’t trust myself and I don’t have any active credit cards, at all.
It is hard to shake those *what if* thoughts about you. What if I had never opened that second BoA credit card? What if I had never opened an account at Banana Republic for a new wardrobe for work? What if I lived farther than walking distance from Best Buy, when I moved into my first apartment or had been more responsible with that VISA card I was supposed to use only for grad school applications?
I need to get over you, fast. I am spending time hustling, often working two jobs at a time, but it never seems like enough. I wish I could spend my nights and weekends doing things I enjoy or with friends instead, but not only are you, debt, bookmarking a chunk of my paycheck but also my time.
I did educate myself about what rights I do have as a consumer. I was able to get those harassing phone calls from debt collectors to stop. Learning that life lesson could have been avoided, by not getting in bed with you in the first place. I am learning to like myself again and stop beating myself up for getting in so deep (roughly $17,000), but it’s a slow process for sure. There are some types of debt that I am on okay terms with: like my car loan and student loans. My car has been a great tool to help me take on more work and gain independence. I wish I could be one of those people who paid for my first car in cash; but like I said before, I am not going to be too hard on myself about things in the past I can’t change. I look forward to the day when my paycheck really is all mine and I don’t have to split it amongst creditors.
I hope next Thanksgiving I will be writing you a goodbye letter once and for all.
Not lovingly,
Sofia
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8 comments
Your CVS is my Target. It’s like I lose all self-control. I often wonder how “ahead” in life I’d be if I never had any debt. I picture a much fatter retirement plan that’s for sure. Hang in there!
Target just has something about it. Don’t think about how much further “ahead” you would have been without debt– don’t go down that road. I go down that road often and it’s not pretty 🙂 I need to learn from the past and just keep making my future better.
When I was in high school I LOVED making CVS trips. My parents paid for it back in the day. Now that I’m on my own, I’ve learned never to walk into the store. I order what I absolutely NEED from amazon and that’s that.
Oh man, remember the days when your parents bought you stuff? Miss it. I try to avoid online shopping and stores altogether.
I love both CVS and Target. Hang in there. It will pay off!
I love both, too! Luckily I don’t have a real problem with shopping, but it can be tempting. It’s a slow process, but it will pay off!
Sounds like you have made awesome progress so far with a LOT of hard work – and you’re right, you can’t beat yourself up about past mistakes, you can only move forward with lessons learned and keep fighting against your debt!
I need to learn that lesson too! I think we can all be a little too hard on ourselves. Thanks for your comment, Laura. Great site and love what you are doing.