dear debt letter

Hey debt fighters! We have another great dear debt letter to motivate you to conquer your debt. Today’s letter comes from Tre. Tre is a freelance writer who is passionate about personal finance. You can follow her journey out of debt on her blog House of Tre or on Twitter.

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Dear Debt,

We haven’t really spoken for a while, but we need to talk. We’ve been together for a long time.  A very long time.

You’ve been with me for some of the most important events in my adult life. You were here when Tiny Tre was born. You were here when we bought our first house. You were here the day I received my MBA (no offense, but you were pretty fat at that time).

You’ve also been with me during my darkest times. Do you remember that time we were almost homeless? Yeah, that was a rough time. No one expects to finish grad school and almost end up living on the streets, but you were there with me the whole time. Reminding me of your needs. Making them seem more important than anything else.

Debt, for a couple of years I tried to forget about you. But you wouldn’t let me. You always popped up and made sure your needs were met. You made yourself a priority in my life.

I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately.  I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve been giving you a lot of attention. In fact, I’ve paid you more attention this year than I ever have in the past. Were you flattered? Did you think “Oh, she’s finally remembered me?”

Don’t get too excited. You see old friend, I could never forget about you. You wouldn’t let me. You were always there. Looming over every decision I made.

Debt, this really isn’t working for me anymore. I have some new goals and you just don’t fit in with them. To be honest, you’re a bit of a control freak and I’m getting tired.

I’m tired of you ruling my life.

I’m tired of you deciding where I work.

I’m tired of you deciding how I spend my money.

I’m tired of you deciding if I get to take a vacation.

Most of all, I’m tired of making sacrifices to please you.

Debt, my old friend, it’s over. I’ve made a plan. I have it all worked out. I know exactly how many more days we have together.  You’ll be surprised how short our time together is.

Don’t worry; you’ll be getting a lot of attention until then. In fact, you’ll be getting more attention than you ever have before. Enjoy it! This time it’s really over. I’m breaking up with you for good.

Tre

Hi everyone! While I’m exploring new terrain in Spain and Portugal and getting some much needed rest, enjoy this fantastic dear debt letter by Erin! Erin is a pop culture enthusiast hailing from West Virginia. She works in media, has a fond appreciation for lima beans and maintains a healthy dose of curiosity and wanderlust. Check out her blog and follow her on Twitter!

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Dear Debt,

I didn’t know about you until I graduated college and joined the real world. Just like the bad economy and lack of jobs, you were a surprise.

At first, you were a tiny nuisance—$3,500 that I owed my parents for the blessed summer spent studying and interning abroad. I figured I’d get to you when I started making money. Compared to the large payback sum my brother owed for college, you were a pittance.

Little did I know jobs would be so scarce and my desperation for anything paid and full-time would force me to move hundreds of miles away for a poverty-level paycheck. Moving expenses occurred, giving me my first taste of you in the consumer world.

When my first post-college Christmas came, I felt I could finally buy my family decent gifts. Over a grand later, I was suffering from sticker shock. I didn’t make enough to pay you off and I hadn’t realized how fast you accumulated after the move.

I worked hard to pay you down.

And then I had to move two more times in a 6-month period. First to a new living situation, and then to a new town and a new job.

The new town’s cost of living was double what I’d been used to. The increase in salary was barely enough to cover rent and utilities. Fixed costs took up 75 percent of my budget. I felt suffocated and trapped, with little room for improvement. At the small company where I worked, substantial extra funds and raises weren’t part of the deal.

At first I ignored you, because it was easier. But then I realized I’d never get ahead in life if I always had you holding onto my ankle, pulling me under. Deciding to quit you, I strapped down and started to make real headway.

Life, however, had other ideas. A new love entered my life. Long-distance love. I felt the sting of high gas prices as I filled my car more often to see him. I was spending money for us to eat out, helped pay for trips and gave gifts I really couldn’t afford. The haze of love and fun clouded my judgment and I pretended not to care. Before I knew it, your balance was higher than ever before and you seemed proud of my defeat.

Sadly, I did feel defeated by you, especially after I quit my job without a plan, knowing I needed to find a better location and job. I had money saved, but I refused to put it toward you. It was my safety net for my next venture.

When luck came my way and a wonderful new opportunity presented itself, I used the savings first. Moving, getting set up in a new town and waiting two weeks for my first paycheck quickly depleted savings and made me reach for you out of desperation. My social life was active and full and I wanted to participate as much as possible, so I turned a blind eye to the ramifications of relying on you to help me fit in.

You were a bad habit I couldn’t quit.

Things finally got out of control when my new card, opened solely for emergencies, had been used for everything but. I made a plan and decided to pay you down, once and for all.
It’s been a long road, with unexpected expenses popping up along the way, but each month I reassess my battle plan for kicking you out and each month I remain hopeful that soon, you’ll no longer have a grasp on my life. Soon, I will have you under control and I will have learned how to properly handle consumer debt. Because I am stronger than you. And this time, I mean business.

Hey debt fighters! I’m so excited to share this dear debt letter as it offers a fresh perspective on debt. AND you must congratulate Kate as she has recently paid off the last of her debt!

Kate from Goodnight Debt graduated from law school with $45,330 in student loan debt. She made her final student loan payment on March 27, 2015, paying them off in only 15 short months. 

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Dear Debt,

Can you believe we’ve known each other for nearly 5 years? I guess stress and life events make time fly by.  It feels like we met just yesterday.

It has been a good ride, but we can’t see each other anymore. I don’t mean to be rude, but it’s time we went our separate ways. Did you really not see this coming?

I can’t say that I’m going to miss you, but I want you to know that I appreciate everything you have done for me. You’ve done a lot.  Sometimes I feel like you don’t get the recognition you deserve.

So, I just want to say…. Thank you.

Thank you for helping me gain my independence to stand on my own two feet.

Thank you for letting me pursue opportunities that were low or no pay but were pivotal in finding my right path.

Thank you for getting me through law school. Without you, I would have needed to divert my attention from what was important to make ends meet.

Thank you for being there after I graduated. Things got really bad for a while and without you, who knows what kind of mess I would have been.  (Likely: An emotionally unstable, unemployable mess.)

Thank you for pushing me into new opportunities when the time was right.

Thank you for helping me grow closer to my Husband.  (Do you remember him? You two hung out a lot like 10 years ago.)

Hopefully, we can see each other again in a few years. I’ll need your help with a few things…. How are you at home improvement projects?

Thank you again,
Kate

Hello debt fighting rockstars! I have a great dear debt letter for you from Ryan Bonaparte, who is part of a cool site, TheNewTutor.com. Check out their resources and his awesome breakup letter to debt. If you want to write a breakup letter to debt, contact me.

Dear Debt,

We’ve known each other for 10 years, and we’ve been pretty serious for the last five. It’s been fun — we’ve gone to school together, rented our first apartment (which was pretty nice by the way), and picked up a few gadgets and a car or two along the way.

Unfortunately, I don’t think we can last. I’ve given up more time than I can count trying to work with you, to pay you off, and yet you’re still here. We’ve tried to work through our problems, and when I lost my job, you took a little break. But you were right back at it when I got my new job. And don’t get me started on that trip to the hospital a few years back.

Really it’s kind of a pain to keep you around. You take and take, but it’s been a long time since you’ve given me anything in return.

One day, I know you’ll be gone, and I’ll be able to live my life and enjoy the freedoms I want to experience. One day, I’ll remember you as a distant memory with the ups and downs we had. Mostly downs, really.

We still have a ways to go, more years than I’d like to admit. But piece by piece, I’m untangling the way you’ve woven yourself into my mind, heart, and soul. We’ve already started to distance ourselves from each other, especially this year when I saved money and worked hard as a tutor to let go of what little control you still had over my credit cards. That was an amazing feeling, and I can’t wait to push you out of other parts of my life. Soon, you won’t be riding with me every time I go for a drive.

I know we’ll probably run into each other every now and then. You might be there for my wedding, when I buy my first home, and maybe my next car or two. But really it’s for the best that we don’t make it a habit. You go your way, and I’ll go mine.

Can’t promise you I won’t warn all my friends to stay away from you, though. Just saying.

It’s been real.

Ryan

Happy Friday! I hope you have had an awesome week. I’d like to share a little debt-busting love with you today from Kara, who blogs at karaelizabethperez.wordpress.com.

She is dedicated to paying off her student loans this year! Woo hoo! Cheer her on and enjoy her letter.

Dear Debt,

We need to talk. Our relationship…it’s coming to an end. Can’t you feel it? It was never good and now it’s just bad. Frankly, I can’t stand you anymore. I dream of getting rid of you. If I never saw you again, it would be too soon.

Does that sound harsh? I hope so. What you’ve done to my life has been pretty harsh- you limit me baby. At every turn. I can’t travel with friends because of you, or enjoy a romantic night on the town because of you. I’m stuck, trapped by you. I want to do more! I want to be free!

And your friends have got to go. Guilt and Resentment are bad house guests and you have them over all the time. It’s just been too much for too long. So this is it between us. Have a good life, because that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

So long sucker,

Kara

Happy Hump day, folks! Get over that hump and get inspired on your debt journey. We have another fabulous dear debt letter today from MJ, who blogs at http://www.dreambeyonddebt.com.

Enjoy her letter, and follow her @dreambeyonddebt!

Dear Debt,

I’ve known you my entire adult life. For 20 years, I’ve carried you. You made it possible for me to read great books and discuss interesting ideas with intelligent peers. But, that time passed many years ago. I’ve suffered under your crushing weight for way too long. I’m ready to know a life of freedom. I’m moving on. I’m letting you go.

When I was 27-years-old, I took my mother’s advice and consolidated my undergraduate loans with the unnecessary loans I took out while I was a graduate student. I received an assistantship that covered tuition and paid a small stipend, but I couldn’t imagine how I’d live on so little money. Immediately after graduation, I started to make graduated monthly payments toward the $48,000 balance. Through the years, I’ve put the loans in deferment a couple of times, but I’ve made steady payments for at least ten years. I’m almost 40-years-old now, and I owe $47,554 in student loans.

I try not to rage when I think about how much money I’ve paid to the loan, and how little the balance has changed. It doesn’t seem fair. It doesn’t seem right. I feel little comfort from the low interest rate of 3.125% because it is calculated daily, and it adds up quickly. I don’t work in a particularly stable industry. I’m an adjunct instructor, and my work is often contingent upon enrollment or university need. Although I’ve been fortunate to find work at higher paying institutions, there is still no guarantee from semester to semester.

I made that choice, though. I also work as a freelance writer, and I consider my adjunct work as “freelance” as well. To stay comfortable and secure in my career decision, I am finally making the decision to break up with my student loan debt. It’s been a dysfunctional relationship – maybe from the beginning, when I took out loans so I’d have cash for better groceries, road trips, and nights out on the town.

Those are all good things, but not good enough to be experienced on borrowed money.

I’ve felt very low. I’ve felt sunk in the hole I created. I’ve tried to embrace the loans and the education and opportunity they provided me. It’s true that I’d pay twice the amount for the friends I made while in the programs that prompted the debt. But, I can’t help but look at the balance and berate myself for not being smarter about my money at the time. Even in my decision to pay off the debt, I feel like I’m making up time. Like I’m behind the rest of the world. Like I’m in last place.

I have little in the way of retirement savings. I went back and forth between wanting to pay off the debt and wanting to fund a robust retirement account. But, when I heard myself say to my mother, “I might die with student loan debt,” then I knew which path to choose. The debt had to go. It was a dark cloud. The only empowering choice was to eradicate it as quickly as possible.

I know there are others in deeper student loan debt. I feel for them. It doesn’t really make me feel better, though – except to know that I’m not alone in this mess.Which is why I’m writing this letter to you – as an attempt to feel less alone while I extract you from my life. I’ve found extra work. I’ve built up an emergency fund. I’m keeping my expenses low. The time has come. The decision has been made. I’m over you, Debt. We won’t be traveling together, or building a home base. My dreams don’t include you. We’re through.

Sincerely,

MJ

Dream Beyond Debt

Happy Monday, folks! Got a Case of the Mondays? Well, you’re in luck. We have a fabulous, sock-it-to-you, dance around and listen to Spice Girls awesome dear debt letter. Yeah, I just went there. 🙂

Today’s letter is by none other than the lovely Prudence, which reminds me of one of my favorite Beatles songs (I’m sure she gets that a lot). Prudence Debtfree and her husband are working their way out of debts that totaled $257,000 in June of 2012. They’re down to $150,000 now, and you can follow their progress at Prudence Debtfree: One Couple’s Journey out of Debt.

Dear Debt,

You’re getting worried, aren’t you? I’ve been bringing you down steadily for over two and a half years now. Twenty months, Buddy. I know what you were thinking at first: She thinks she can live without me. Yeah, right! Give her time, and she’ll come running back to me. Like she always has. Like she always will. I’ve given you good reason to think that way – I admit it. After all, I was  your faithful partner for almost twenty-five years.

When we first got together, you were like a knight in shining armor. I needed a car to get to my new job, and you allowed me to have one. Instant relief. Instant convenience. Instant power. I saw you as the answer. And what did you ask for in return? Not much at all. A small monthly payment that was easy for me to cover. Just a little drop in the bucket.

I relied upon you more and more as you came through time and again. You were there for me when I wanted to shop for clothes. You were there for me when I wanted new furniture. You were there for me when I just felt like treating myself to a meal at a restaurant or a night at the theatre. Or a week-end ski trip. I’d heard somewhere that I deserved it. That I could have it now. That it would make me happy. And you proved it all true each and every time!

You’d even had a long-standing relationship with the man who would become my husband! How expansive and open you were! And you never said “No.” We never felt we were asking too much of you. A bit of travel. A new vehicle to accommodate our growing family. A weekly cleaning service to ease the busy-ness of life. Our dream home . . .

But then there was job loss. Limited income. And all of those monthly payments – now an abundance of drops in the bucket – added up to a burden that we could barely manage. Month after month after month . . . And still you promised to be the answer. And still we believed you! Now’s your chance to pursue your interest and take that course! And isn’t that cute pure-bred puppy just perfect for your daughter?  What were we thinking? You had become such an unquestioned part of our lives – such a knee-jerk solution – that we still didn’t see you for what you were!

When we decided to take the home business route, we needed you again. See, I’m still the one to make your dreams come true, you said. And things did work out. But we now felt uneasy around you. Your charm was still seductive, but your promises were hollow. You weren’t in the business of making our dreams come true; you were in the business of gaining from those “little” monthly payments – and we’d been sensitized to them. Drip, drip, drip . . . They drained us. We recognized the power you had over us. We wanted to be free of you.

But you’d made us financially flabby. No muscle tone. And at first, it was frustrating –  stumbling on imperfectly and with limited effectiveness at times. Budgeting was annoying. Cutting our expenses felt like deprivation. Tracking our money was drudgery. Unexpected expenses threatened to derail us. But they didn’t. And we’ve toned up – gained some endurance. And we’re only getting stronger.

You’ve become smaller, Debt, and you don’t overwhelm me anymore. I’m bigger than you are. Your siren call still sings to me from time to time. But I know how to answer it. You deserve it! Deserve what? Years of drip, drip, draining payments? You can have it now! But I can have it later too – at cost – once I’ve saved for it. And frankly, I might choose not to have it even then. It will make you happy. No it won’t. Happiness does not come with a purchased product, service, or experience. I’ve finally figured that out. You’ve lost your charm and your powers of seduction.

But I know you. Your wandering eye has found a multitude of partners even while I’ve been working through this slow motion break-up. You’ve presented yourself as the answer, the solution, the ticket to dreams come true to all sorts of seekers on the market. Still, you are apprehensive, aren’t you? Because the secret is out, and I’m not the only one who recognizes you for what you are. There are plenty of us who see right through you.. And we’re dropping you. Bit by bit. Drip, drip, draining you. Until you’re gone.

Photo: http://deathtothestockphoto.com/

Hey debt fighters and money mavens! I have another kick ass dear debt letter for you. Get inspired and kick debt to the curb in the New Year. Today’s letter is from Liz, who blogs about DIY and personal finance at www.fridaynightshenanigans.com. If you’d like to dump debt and write a dear debt letter, get in touch!

Dear Debt,

We’ve known each other a long time now. I suppose we kind of grew up together in a way. We first met when I was 18 and had just moved across the country to go to college. I was young and naïve and it was fine because we were really just casual friends then. But when I was 20 and went to law school I ended up seeing a lot more of you. Truth be told I didn’t realize then just how much of you I would see or for how long our relationship would last. For years I went about life just assuming I’d always be stuck with you in my life, the guest from the party that just never leaves.

However, living without a roommate this past summer forced me to take a good hard look at my finances and I realized just how much you were costing me. I thought back to when I was in high school and my plan had been to meet up with you in school, spend my 20’s living on the cheap and paying you off by the time I was 30. Granted I could not have predicted the recession and how it affected my job prospects, but looking at things now, I’m no longer willing to just let you hang around for forever. So from now on I’m going to keep you close. You know what they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Guess what debt – I just became your best frenemy.

I’ll walk next to you for a good long while still, I’ll eat lunch with you and remember to wear pink on Wednesdays, but all the while I’ll be doing everything I can to bring you down. I’ll be making frequent extra payments, cutting you down one loan at a time, until you are no longer relevant in my life. Because honestly debt, you’d be nothing if it wasn’t for your high interest rates on high balances and my poor decisions. Well I’m making better decisions now and they are going to impact the other things you’ve got going on. You are going down.

XOXO,

Your Best Frenemy

Hey everyone! I have a very special dear debt letter from Zina Kumok, who JUST paid off her debt! This letter was submitted beforehand, but since that time, she has made her last payment and is now debt free! Please congratulate her and enjoy her dear debt letter — you could feel how close she was to being debt free, and now she is. 🙂

More about her: Zina Kumok writes about paying off $28,000 worth of student loans in three years. She has been featured in ReadyforZero, RetailMeNot, DailyWorth, Fox Business and Time. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook to get more advice on budgeting, saving and paying off debt.

Dear Debt,

I’m ready for this to be over. I’ve been ready for three years – three years of waiting, wondering and worrying. Three years of living on less than I had to – including one year of living on less than 50% of my salary.

Debt, you have made me CRAZY.  If our relationship was a movie, it would be “Fatal Attraction” or for a more recent example (because Debt, I keep forgetting, you’re only a toddler), the 2009 thriller “Obsessed” starring Beyonce and Idris Elba.

Remember when I was calling the Nelnet hotline every month to see how long it would take to pay back my loans? Remember when I would check my balance every week, just to see how much interest I had accrued? Or when I would sit at home with my financial calculator and see how much of a difference $50 would make if I made a few more cuts in my budget?

Do you know what I’ve given up for you? Do you know how many earrings I have not bought on your account? How many sushi dinners or handcrafted cocktails I have given up? How many movies and books I got from the library just so I could save an extra $10 to put toward your stupid existence.  Do you even care?

Sometimes it would feel like this day would never come, that you would be the baggage I would carry around forever, just another mole on my otherwise perfect financial complexion. Once I might have been content to let this go on for years, but not anymore. This isn’t a healthy relationship anymore. For neither one of us.

Dear Debt, your time is up.

Happy Friday everyone! I have another absolutely inspiring dear debt letter from one of my favorite bloggers, Sandy from Yes, I am Cheap. I had the chance to meet her at FinCon and she is so lovely! So happy she is on the blog today, declaring her independence and fighting back. Get ready and get inspired. This is a good one.

First, a little background: Sandy calls herself the guinea pig of debt reduction strategies.  She’s determined to prove that you can repay a six figure debt on a regular salary by sharing her own debt reduction strategies.  She writes at Yes I Am Cheap where she’s just shared how she repaid $50,000 in less than two years after being unemployed for six months and working as a temp for nine months.

Dear Debt,

I’m leaving you.  It’s not you, it’s me…no, no, that’s a lie.  We’ve both changed and it’s just not working anymore.  I’d like to say that it’s been fun, but no, it’s been pretty dang painful. I’m not sad to see you go either.

It wasn’t like I wasted money on some stupid shopping sprees or even that I was an irresponsible spender to end up with you as a life partner.  I went to school and earned a few degrees like good kids were supposed to do, but I hadn’t counted on student loans coming along for the ride for so long. I hadn’t planned on my business drying up leaving me with even more of your cousins sitting on my credit report, but it’s all good because you can take them with you too.

I don’t know how it happened that you grew to more than $120,000 before I even noticed.  I was so ashamed that you had consumed so much of my life that I just didn’t know what to do.  You seriously just paralyzed me with fear, ‘cause honestly honey, how do you fight a monster that’s so big?

You know what happened debt? We had a bad thing going for so long that you got comfortable; you started taking me for granted.  I went to work every day but you sat at home getting happy and lazy.  You got fat while I was working hard, trying to make ends meet and I just didn’t know how to pry you off my couch.

It’s okay though, because I got smarter.  I educated myself about money and finances but you didn’t like that, did you?  You liked me being ignorant about credit and debt and about how I could make my money work for me.  The smarter I got and the more debt busting techniques I put into place, the more panicky you got.  Maybe you realized that I was slipping out of your grasp when I started to hang out on the websites of my finance friends, soaking up as much knowledge as possible.  Or maybe the final nail in the coffin was when I hit the button to pay off $50,000 in less than two years.

So long you life sucking vampire.  Let’s never do this again.

Sandy