dear debt letter

Today’s dear debt letter comes from Nicole. Nicole lives in the Boston area, and is working toward paying down her debt from earning her Bachelor’s degree. She has many hobbies, including sewing, running, and of course, fix-it-yourself projects. Visit her and follow her progress at www.debtdungeondiaries.com.

Dear Debt,

There’s an old expression that describes a deceitful person as a “wolf in sheep’s clothing.” Picture a wolf wearing a sheep skin, pretending to be all sheep-like until gobbling up every little lamb in sight.

I’ve been deceived a number of times in my life, Debt, but you are a real wolf in sheep’s clothing.

“We have such low interest rates!”

“You won’t find another private loan with rates like these.”

“It’s worth it for a good education, and it’s a really good school.”

These coaxing, cooing words filled my naive, 17-year-old ears. What was I supposed to do? NOT go to college? I was in the strangest of dilemmas. One moment, it felt like I had a million choices in my hands, but when I was sitting across from that loan counselor, it suddenly seemed like I had no choices at all.

In the end, Debt, I’m glad I knew you when I did; if we had never met, I would never have moved to the Boston area, and would never have met J and his family. I also would never have experienced any of the incredible professional development opportunities that I’ve had. But I’ve wasted too much of my time worrying on you.

I am in control now, and I am shutting you down.

Sincerely,
DDD (Debt Dungeon Diaries)

P.S. Just to spite you, when I start graduate school next year, I will not take out one. Single. Loan. How ya like them apples?!

Today’s dear debt letter, as part of the #DitchYourDebt challenge, comes from R.

Dear Debt,

F$*& YOU very much!!!

I cannot decide exactly when we met.  I believe it happened even before you were “mine”.  I remember hearing, “it’s ok, just put it on the card” at such a young age that I believed you were a reliable friend.  I learned that you were the friend that was a natural part of life.  Therefore, we would always be together, and yet you would always be one step ahead.

I made the mistake early on of believing that I could keep up with you. I always thought that I would be able to pay your needs with my next paycheck, my next raise, my next job.  So we’d go to the mall and pay for the outfit for the next interview, pay for the furniture for the next move to a new state, and pay for my basic necessities while I looked for a job. Then you laughed at me when I couldn’t pay you back.

I was dependent on you like a cruel joke.  I always believed that we were in it together as I worked toward the next seminar, the next school, the next trip, to forward my life or my education, only to see that you left me desperate and in need to pay you off once again.

You were the reason why I got to do so many things and yet at the same time you have kept me from doing other things.  It’s almost abusive.  I know you are going to hurt me again and yet I continue to come back.

Well, I’M DONE!!!!

I am NO LONGER going to abuse myself this way.  I DESERVE better and I’m smarter than this.  I can stand on my own two feet and I DON’T NEED YOU!!

GOODBYE DEBT, I’m moving on!

R.

Today’s dear debt letter comes from GaNeane. Enjoy!

Dear Debt,

I’ve had enough. This isn’t working out for me. I’m so very tired of you. I’m over you and all that you do.

I’m one pay check away from being homeless…because of you. I’ve only taken one real vacation in my entire adult life…because of you.

I feel trapped, scared, tired and sad…because of you.

Oh I know that I helped. I invited you into my life and then mismanaged you. I ignored you and didn’t take you seriously.

I’m more ashamed of myself than I can ever say.

But you used that, didn’t you? Being ashamed kept me from doing anything about you, kept me ducking my head so I didn’t have to look at you directly in the eye.

No more.

No more hiding. No more running. I am no longer going to rob Peter to pay Paul because Peter is dead.

So this is it. I’m taking back control of my life from you. I know it is going to be hard. But freedom is worth it.

I WILL BE FREE FROM DEBT CONTROLLING MY LIFE!

Sincerely,
GaNeane

Today’s dear debt letter, as part of the #DitchYourDebt challenge, comes from Stephanie. Stephanie is a mentor to mothers who are ready to shift their motherhood into a place of magic and bliss. She has been struggling to get rid of her debt for good, and is finally taking the leap to the next level of transformation to be debt free! As she continues to free up her head, heart and life of her debt the simplicity and peace that will follow will have a ripple effect!

Dear Debt,

You have been with me for over 10 years. I remember when we first connected. I felt so excited about being able to have it all. The bummer is, you have it all. I misunderstood our relationship. I thought it would be a giving, fulfilling adventure of never-ending excitement. In reality it is me giving you over $500 a month and constantly transferring to different cards, just to stay in front of interest and fees.

Well, I am finished with you. I am no longer interested in your fake security. I am no longer interested in your handouts. I will save my way to adventure and fulfillment and find true peace! I am no longer willing to hand you my energy, my worth, and my life. I am leaving the past in the past and saying hello to the beautiful present.

I am free and ready to soar far from the chains of my past, like honeymoon fun from 5 years ago, night clubs that I went to before I had children, and interest and charges from impulse purchases. I am no longer that girl. I now know the joy in saving for whatever it is I truly want. I know the universe provides me with all that I need in each moment. So this is goodbye. Thank you for giving me an opportunity to fully know what I don’t want, so that I can begin the adventure with savings and investments, two things I am ready to marry!

Sincerely,

Stephanie

Hey everyone! I’m in LA this week visiting family, so enjoy some awesome dear debt letters this week. Today’s dear debt letter, as part of the #DitchYourDebt challenge, comes from Inspiremeshea.

Dear Debt,

This has been a hell of a ride! Today is the day that I take back my dignity and began to trust in me. No longer will I continue to live under your control, you have been a thorn in my side since the moment I met you. You held me in captivity for well over a decade but everyday I was thinking of a plan to escape.

From the harassing phone calls at all times of the night. It has been a nightmare. You were on a mission to destroy me. You made that loud and clear. How on earth did I even end up here with you? I used to be disciplined and in control of my own life. Then somehow you slowly creeped into my life, like a virus, attacking my finances, my credit score, and my peace of mind.

Today is a new day for me, the chains that once had me bound to your captivity have finally been broken. I know you thought you had me for good with your crippling ways. But my love for me is deeper than you will ever know. I love me enough to change my mindset and create a plan for success. I’ve been in captivity for so long with you, I almost forgot what it feels like to be free. I’m free to be me again and rebuild what you thought you had destroyed for good. Goodbye old debt you were never a friend of mine anyway. I will not give you one more ounce of my time. You might win some but you just lost one!

Sincerely,

Inspiremeshea

Hey guys! Happy Friday. Today we have an awesome dear debt letter from Jason Hull. Jason Hull, CFP® is the CTO of myFinancialAnswers, a comprehensive, online financial planning service. He is a graduate of the United States Military Academy at West Point, holds a MBA from the University of Virginia, and is a member of the U.S. national supporters group the American Outlaws. He and his wife (who brought no debt to their relationship but lovingly accepted his situation) paid off over $300,000 of debt and reached financial independence in under 10 years.

“I’m not crying because of you; you’re not worth it. I’m crying because my delusion of who you were was shattered by the truth of who you are.” –Dr. Steve Maraboli

Dear Debt,

High school reunions are filled with stories of people who knew each other in high school, liked each other, never took that next step, married the wrong person, got divorced, saw each other at the reunion, and voila! Flame rekindled.

Or they go on Facebook, reconnect, and suddenly love blossoms.

Well, that’s never happened with you.

Thank God.

I remember there was once a time when you and I cohabitated pretty peacefully. I used you. I thought you were convenient. Sure, there was the occasional hiccup when you’d refuse me when I was making some purchase, embarrassing me, making me use cash, but then you’d call me and tell me that our relationship had expanded, had grown deeper.

You encouraged me to date your sisters, and that it was OK to have more than one lover in our relationship. The more cards in my wallet, the deeper our love.

Somewhere deep down, I knew our relationship wasn’t sustainable. Like the brief summer fling that has a tempestuous passion but is, intrinsically, never meant to be, such was our relationship.

However, few of those summer flings of passion are so parasitical. You, debt, were a parasite, getting much more out of me than I ever got out of you.

You told me that it was OK to live beyond my means. I was living in Germany, single, and young. When would I ever get a chance to travel like I could, and to make memories that I did when I was in bed with you?

“You deserve this lifestyle,” you whispered. “Live a little. You’ll get pay raises. You can pay me off later.”

I listened. It’s hard to avoid that pillow talk when you’re so deep in the throes of lust.

At one point, we broke up. I’d moved back to the States. I sold things. I had my combat pay. I had money in hand. I got rid of you.

But, you kept calling. And I finally answered the call, and once I did, we reunited lustfully to make up for lost time.

Instead of saving up and preparing for graduate school, where I’d have no income except for summer internships, you told me that I was going to make a lot more when I graduated. I could break up with you then, but we could have a wild time in those intervening 3 years.

Fortunately, I met another lover who was a jealous lover. She never had debt. She was interested in a beneficial relationship between us, would take care of me when I was old, would love me unconditionally for as long as we were together, and didn’t cause me to feel guilty about my relationship with her. She was someone whom I could actually marry, happily.

But, she refused to let me have another lover on the side, so you and I had to break up. Sure, you sneaked back in the side door with your not-so-nefarious cousins, student loans and a mortgage, but even then, I realized quickly that despite the perceived benefits we were better off cutting off the relationship entirely.

It took 10 years from the time that my now wife told me that I had to break up with you, (Not So) Dear Debt, before we became completely financially independent. It was hard work. It required sacrifice, although not nearly as much as you told me that it would require.

I have never looked back. I’ve never had a flame burning for you. It is an amazingly empowering and freeing feeling to know that we can choose the life we want, don’t have to worry about money, and certainly will never be tempted to listen to your siren call.

The experiences we purchase now with cash are much more enjoyable than any of the trips I took with you. Food tastes better when bought with cash than it ever did when you and I used to go to restaurants. Having no mortgage or no student loan means no encumbrance of the soul, like I used to experience with you, your sisters, and your cousins.

You were the worst lover I ever had. It wasn’t love. You were a parasite on my soul, lying to me all of the time about how good you were for me.

I’m glad I had the affair with you. It taught me what to look for, what I wanted, what was important to me, and gave me a hunger to live a life without you.

I’m never looking back. I’m stronger for our relationship, but I hope others never fall prey to your cute little charms, for underneath, you’re simply one word:

Medusa.

Not so much love,
Me

Today’s dear debt letter, as part of the #DitchYourDebt challenge, comes from Asherah, a 40-year-old wife and mother of 2, who resides in New Jersey and is seeking to be debt free.

Dear Debt,

We met at a time in my life when I needed you to be there for monthly necessities and it grew into me becoming dependent on you for seven years. While we have been involved for a long time now you seem to be lingering around with no positive effect on my life.

I have gotten tired and frustrated of living this way and I have been re-evaluating my life. God told me there is no room for you here. I am sorry but this endless relationship has to end now. Thanks for being there but you are no longer needed.

Asherah

Today’s dear debt letter, as part of the #DitchYourDebt challenge, comes from Kim.

Dear Debt,

We are through.  I am ready, willing and able to move on.  Initially it wasn’t so bad having you around, but you’ve lingered and over stayed your welcome.  Over the years you have ignored my subtle clues.

The clues that were barely audible because my voice wasn’t strong enough or loud enough to break free.  I can shout now.

WE ARE THROUGH!!!

I will not be passing you along to others. I will share our story so that you end up exactly where you belong-alone. I once heard someone say that “just beyond crazy is fabulous”. Debt you were my crazy.

You were the vortex that I found myself in when I was bored, lonely, uninspired, lost or overwhelmed. You made me believe that you could help me escape my problems but the truth is you only added to them and  then proceeded to become the biggest problem of all. I’m moving on to fabulous. From now on I will use my money as a resource to enrich my life not to bandage the hurt.

Good bye debt, I am slamming the door on our toxic relationship and I will not look back.  We are through.

Kim

Hey debt fighters! Over the next couple of weeks, I’ll be sharing some awesome Dear Debt Letters! I’ve partnered with Belinda Rosenblum of OwnYourMoney.com for the #DitchYourDebt challenge. Belinda is on a mission to help 10,000 people get out of debt and as part of the challenge, participants are writing breakup letters to debt! It’s not too late to sign up for the FREE challenge. Today’s letter comes from K. Show your support and let’s inspire people to get out of debt!

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Dear Debt,

I actually managed to elude you for quite some time. Do you remember when I paid for everything with cash because no one would give me a chance at credit? Do you remember those times being humiliated at the front of a Marshalls or TJ Maxx and my store credit requests were always declined?

I remember having no idea that those inquiries and declines would affect my credit score but in my mind that 15% off was the best thing since breakfast for dinner? (Isn’t all store bread sliced? I never got that one)

Do you remember the time that the hubby and I finally said, let’s buy a home? Do you remember that exorbitant mortgage that we were pre-qualified for? Scratch that, do you remember what hubby pre-qualified for?

I was just riding the train but the bank wanted my information in order to get us into the home that I really wanted. Do you remember, how horrifying it was that they pulled my credit report at the bank and it was filled with old unpaid cell phone, cable and hospital bills?

Do you remember that was my first time ever seeing my credit report? Do you remember me paying everything off within 30 days only to go back to the bank, actually qualify by the skin of our teeth only to learn that an offer had been accepted the night before? Do you know that I randomly think of that day?

Do you remember how excited I was when my daughter was accepted to an awesome university? Do you remember how nervous I was signing my name on the dotted line for a multitude of loans?

Do you know, how accomplished I felt after being a young mom, without a traditional education? Do you know, my mind told me that all of those loans for school for your daughter would probably cost me more than I imagined?

Do you know that I felt vindicated because the naysayers couldn’t say that I didn’t educate my child? Do you know those loans were the push that started the avalanche of credit offers?

Do you know that I finally had credit cards to rent a car to go and see my daughter at said university? Do you know that credit cards allowed me to purchase books until my daughter was able to secure a job?

Do you know that I still haven’t paid for that very expensive dinner for the family after her graduation? Do you know that seeing her walk across the stage was priceless? Do you know that I haven’t paid a single thing late in 3.5 years?

Do you know that I couldn’t do anything that would jeopardize a need that she may have had?? Do you know that I know what my credit score and utilization are right now?

Do you know that I used you as much as you used me? Do you know that I’m no longer afraid? Do you know that in writing this letter I realized I didn’t love myself enough to do it for me? You do know that this is it right? You had to realize a few lines in that this in indeed a Dear John letter. *sashaying away*

K

Hey debt fighters! I have another great, yet heart-wrenching dear debt letter for you today. Today’s letter comes from a new blogger, so I encourage you to stop by, say hello, and encourage him! We all remember being the new guy/gal, right? Drop a line and say hello. You can find Ryan at dadindebt.wordpress.com  and follow him on Twitter @dadindebt

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Dear Debt,

The water is cold. Yes, my gas is cut off.

So let me paint the bigger picture. I’m the husband of one beautiful wife, and the father of two wonderful kids; aged 22 and 16. Both the kids live at home (although the 22 year old wishes like hell he didn’t). We live in a big fancy house in the big fancy country club. We have three cars. I have a great job and my wife hasn’t worked in years.

While I make well over six figures, we have exactly $0 in our savings account and we have exactly $23.19 in our checking account. Today is the 13^th and I don’t get paid again until the 15^th. Oh, did I mention our gas is cut off? I forgot to pay the bill last month and we were out of town the first half of this month when the notice came in the mail. It’s been off since the 9th. It’ll be turned back on again on the 15^th so until then, cold showers.

Why is this happening?

Well, in a nutshell, debt. We are drowning in debt. I have over $50,000 in consumer credit card debt, $48,000 in my son’s student loan debt, $21,000 in auto loan debt, and $530,000 in home debt (keep in mind our house according to Zillow is now worth about $466,000). Yep, it’s pretty bad.

The good news is I’m fed up. I’m turning from mild mannered well paid consultant, husband, and father, in to a middle-aged debt destroyer! The decisions will be tough. The measures may be austere. But enough is enough.