dear debt letter

Hey debt fighters! We have a killer dear debt letter today from Sonia. Sonia is a freelance writer who writes for small to mid-sized businesses. She has also recently started to write fiction again, this time under a pen name, which she discovered gives her a sense of freedom that has been missing from her life for far too long. She has over $81,000 in debt that she is committed to paying off. You can follow her website/blog at soniaquinones.com.

Dear Debt,

Every couple of years I decide that I’m going to get rid of you once and for all. I force myself to sit down and tally up how bad you’ve gotten. And as I do, I remember (as if I could ever forget) every stupid decision that I made that got me into this mess in the first place.

I think about how money, the lack of it, where it was going and where it was not, caused so many fights when I was growing up. How it destroyed any love and faith my parents once had in each other until all that was left was burning resentment. So that all these years later (53 years of married life and counting) my parents are miserable, unhappy, bitter people who I desperately love but cannot help.

If I could kick the sh*t out of you I would.

I’m sick of crying over you.
I’m sick of losing sleep and getting ill, literally, over you.
I’m sick of lying to my family and friends about how little money I have and how much I owe.
I’m tired of trying to figure out what bills I can pay this month and which ones I can’t.
I’m sick of worrying when that check will clear, or when that deposit will be released from a bank hold.
I’m sick of reliving the memory of how I created this mess.

I owe $81,138, most of that in student loan debt for an undergraduate degree that it took me until I was 40 to get and a graduate degree program that I never actually finished.

Student loans that some of my then-employers reimbursed me for. But did I use the check they gave me to repay the loan I took out that term? Oh no. I went ahead and spent it on stuff I don’t even remember. Student loans that I’ve requested forbearances and deferrals on more times than I can count while I got my feet back under me whenever I’ve been unemployed or underemployed.

Student loans that overwhelm me when I compare then to what I actually take home in income. Last year I made exactly $26,275–total–on my freelancer’s income. And that was before taxes. But then making good money doesn’t make a difference.

Not when it’s your mindset that’s screwed up. Because back when I was making almost $90K a year as a full-time employee did I attempt to pay down my student loan debt in a serious way? Nope. Instead I paid the bare minimum. Why? Because even then I still felt “poor.” I couldn’t see the opportunity, the abundance that had entered my life.

I hate seeing the world through the poverty mentality/filter that I absorbed from my family. I’m angry at the idea that my dreams have become so small. That the idea of ever owning my own house instead of renting feels ridiculous, something other people get to do but not me.

I’m angry that the idea of replacing my battered 18-year-old car is out of my reach. I’m pissed that I can’t imagine ever getting to travel to Europe, or go to events where I can meet the people I admire online in person.

I’m pissed that I can’t take better care of my parents. That I can’t move them out of the dump they have the nerve to call a senior residence and into a better apartment, or even an actual house, all because I have this debt that I foolishly allowed into my life. A debt that I signed up for without realizing how deeply it would stain my outlook on life.

I’ve had enough of feeling like a damn incompetent idiot. I’m sick of feeling like I can’t breathe. Like I have no right to hold my head up like a responsible adult. Like I’m wearing a huge sign labeled “LOSER.”

Enough. Enough. Enough.

I’m going to get rid of you no matter what the hell I have to do. I’m going to take my life, my business, my soul seriously and get you out of my life once and for all. I’m reclaiming my life and you won’t ever get a chance to get your grubby hands on me again.

Sincerely,

Sonia

Hello debt fighters! We have a raw, story-filled dear debt letter for you today from David. David is from Quito, Ecuador and currently lives in Brazil. He’s been working as a freelancer, teaching people how to make ice cream (yum!). He is also a talented Spanish/Portuguese translator and teacher. If you are looking for a translator/teacher, let me know and I’ll get you in touch! 

Dear Debt,

I don’t feel comfortable calling you dear, you know? Because of you, I have felt unhappy for the last four years of my life. Or maybe more. It all started as an open door, as a possibility to become someone thanks to you. But now I realize what an idiot I was for letting you enter my life. Because you are destroying it, you are destroying me. I’m miserable because of you, and this has to end.

How big are you? Well, let’s look into the whole thing.

I’m from Ecuador, South America. In Ecuador, 80% of the population is and has always been poor. Luckily, I’m not part of that 80%, I was lucky enough to be born in a middle class family which has always struggled but somehow managed to do just fine in life. My dad is a professional, he worked for over 30 years in the same company and was always able to provide for his family.

In 1999 the whole country went to bankruptcy because of the errors and corruption of the government, and after the disaster, they decided to change our national currency from the “sucre” to the american dollar. This was done in order to stabilize the economy, which luckily was somehow achieved. I was starting college when all this happened, so I went through a very hard time because everything became really expensive back then when the conversion from sucres to dollars was made, but I managed to graduate.

It wasn’t easy to get a job, a third-world country isn’t exactly the best place to grow as a professional. But I did, in 2005 I got a job that was considered to be good (if a $500-a-month salary is good). And immediately all major banks and credit card companies started offering me their products. Of course I needed to “get on track”, so I accepted some credit cards and started using them, like an idiot.

So, every month I would use all of my salary to pay for my credit card bills. And of course, I would use the damn credit cards for practically everything because I would always find myself without money. So it became a vicious circle.

My salary somehow grew a little, first to $600 and then to $800 (all this in about three years).  I don’t remember having had a good time when I wasn’t in debt, when all of my money didn’t go to the credit cards. And to my surprise I didn’t have anything really, I didn’t have a car, I didn’t have a house of my own, nothing. And I swear I didn’t just spend all of this money.

The interest I was paying was what was eating me alive. So one day I said “STOP IT” and I started living with about $100 a month, and using the rest to pay as much as I could off my credit card bills so that I would finish them and be free.

The day came when I finished paying and I couldn’t be happier, it was finally over! Two more years had gone by and I was earning $1200 a month, which was much better (I know it’s ridiculous for americans to think about such a poor salary, but that’s reality in South America).

But then the disaster started all over again and I haven’t been able to get out of it ever since. In 2011 I met someone, who is now my life partner. I went on vacation to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, thinking “ok so you have paid all of your debt, go there, have fun, and then you come back and pay it all and that’s it” but life had other plans. I met my now partner on vacation and things went so well that we really fell in love for each other and we decided we didn’t want to be apart.

So after a lot of thinking and talking about the possibilities, we decided that because I had a steady job and a better social and economic position in Ecuador than he did in Brazil, it would be better for him to move to Ecuador and not for me to move to Brazil.

Because of immigration matters, none of us could work legally in the other’s country, so we were going to have to figure out what to do. Since he didn’t speak Spanish, only Portuguese, he was definitely going to need to learn Spanish in order to live in Ecuador. Besides that, I was still living at home (yeah, it’s normal for latins to live at home until you get married) but I couldn’t stay home or bring him there, it didn’t make sense. So I was going to have to get a place for us.

So, long story short, I rented an apartment for us and I found a place where he could study Spanish. But of course, if we wanted to get him a visa so that he could stay in Ecuador for at least one year and then maybe apply for another type of visa which would allow him to work, he had to enter a Spanish course that would provide us with the documents the government asked for so that they could give him the one-year student visa. And that could only be done in a University, in which the course cost $300 a month (remember how much I made?).

Anyway, after a lot of effort, I was able to rent an apartment, enroll him in the Spanish course and we bought the airplane ticket, which was about $800.00. He arrived and I couldn’t be happier. We moved to the apartment immediately and he started studying and eventually he got the visa, so we were calm about that.

But remember I said he couldn’t work with that type of visa? So I was the only one paying for everything and sooner than later I found myself using the damn credit cards again. I would never blame him and I would never allow anyone to blame him because it was not his fault at all, he has never been a gold digger or acted as one, and I say this now because probably many people will assume he was taking all of my money but that’s not true. It’s just the way things happened.

So I was, again, using all of my income to pay for my credit card bills. And sometimes I would have to take loans from the credit cards in order to be able to pay rent. And then the nightmare started again and hasn’t ended since 2012.

To make the story shorter, in 2013 I lost my job, My boyfriend finally got a resident visa in Ecuador, so he could work, but the fact that he was legally allowed to work doesn’t mean that he was able to get a job.

So he started teaching private Portuguese lessons in order to help, but it just wasn’t enough. We somehow continued struggling, I started working as a freelancer and was able to keep going, but never leaving the sad and desperate debt situation.

The situation was so damn hard and complicated, and the debt would only grow a little bit more each month.  So in January 2015 (exactly one year ago) we decided we couldn’t keep living like this anymore and we talked it over and decided to move to Brazil, considering I could get a work visa right away and Brazil’s economy was supposed to be much better than Ecuador’s. So in March 2015 we made the crazy move and moved to Brazil.

Little did we know Brazil’s economy was going to go to hell in 2015 because of all of the corruption cases and that the brazilian currency, the real, was going to fall so much. When we arrived it was around 2 reais each dollar, today it’s 4.

My debt is in Ecuador, so when I came to Brazil for every dollar I owed I needed 2 reais, now I need 4. I haven’t been able to get a steady job in Brazil, neither has he. Just ridiculously paid jobs that are enough for rent and food, but that’s it. Going back to Ecuador is not an option, because we’d just go back to the same.

My debt is about $18,000. I have 600 reais in my account, which is about $150. I don’t have any work projections for the following weeks, and my rent is due on the 26th. I will probably have the internet cut on the 10th because I don’t have any money to pay for it.

We have some frozen food which is all we can eat. We spent New Year’s Eve eating a hot dog. My family can’t help me, they have their own problems. His family can’t help us either.  On Monday I have to pay $700 and obviously I won’t. So the bank will call my house in Ecuador and will ask it from my parents, I’m behind on many other bills, about $2500 that I should have already paid.

So, Dear Debt, you are destroying my life. But today, on the first day of 2016, I have decided I won’t let you win. It’s either you or me, because we can’t live together. And I’ll be damned if I let it be you.

So, I’m sorry to tell you but I have decided that I am going to hunt you down and I’m gonna kill you. I have it in me, I know, and I just hope I can get the strength to be the man I am and get rid of you. I hope I will be back here on January 1st, 2017, telling all these nice folks that I destroyed you before you destroyed me. So fuck you Debt, let me be free! Leave me alone!

Hey debt fighters! Today we get to share in a celebration as Steve Stewart writes a Dear Debt letter to his mortgage. Steve is a fellow debt hater turned Financial Coach over at SteveStewart.me and is about to launch a new podcast about how to have “No Debt, No Credit, and No Problems”.

Dear Mortgage,

I remember meeting you in September 1999. I thought I understood you and all your tricks. What I didn’t understand was what you would become when you matured: Part of the 5/1 ARM Club.

It wasn’t until 2003 that I woke up and learned what was going on. The 5/1 ARM Club was a temporary thing, a fad – wasn’t it? That’s why my wife and I worked so hard to convert you into something more traditional – a fixed rate mortgage. BTW: Thanks for losing rate! It helped a lot!

As I learned more and more about money, I realized your friends were thieves! The car loan and credit cards were stealing our wealth. It was too easy to swipe for anything I wanted without stopping to think if it was actually in our budget. And the car loan never made sense to me either. I was just so stupid back then and thought debt was the only way to buy a car. #dumb

You weren’t happy when we banished them from our lives, especially since it allowed us to pay cash for the kitchen remodel and new windows instead of getting you a life partner: the HELOC and I just couldn’t hit it off!

Now it’s time for us to say goodbye. I know you didn’t do anything wrong – you stayed predictable and dependable the entire time. But the house will be so much brighter without a cloud of debt hanging over it. You want the best for us, right?

What? Wait. Hold on…stop it…STOP IT! I won’t listen to your excuses anymore!

• No, we won’t keep you around for the mortgage interest deduction. That’s just bad math.
• Emergencies? Seriously, you don’t think we’ve thought of that already?
• Oh no you did NOT just throw the “You could borrow at low rates to invest for higher returns” argument at me! There will be more money to invest when my wife and I are the only stakeholders in the ownership of this house!

Look, nobody is blaming you – it’s me.

I think I told you: I’m a saver, not a debtor.

The house is mine

The doggone house is mine

Don’t waste your time

Because the doggone house is mine

Sincerely,

Steve Stewart

Hey friends! Today we have a dear debt letter from Jason. Jason is a blogger at TheButlerJournal.com and is in the process of paying off over $72,000. Follow his journey and support him!

Dear Debt,

I met you at a young age. At the time I didn’t think much about you. I was young and naïve. I knew you would grow if I kept you around, but I didn’t care. I started getting older. 24 passed, 28 passed then 30 came.

I woke up one morning and realized that I couldn’t do this anymore.  I began to face the music and realize what you’ve done to me. Gone was the good credit score that I had in my early 20’s. Ignoring you has allowed this lady named Sallie (Mae) to call me multiple times per day.

I’ve had enough. The days of me ignoring you are over. You were over $72,000 when I finally started to address you. Now you’re under $70,000. Soon you will be lower than that.

You’ve caused unwarranted stress in my life for too long. Enjoy these last 2-3 (hopefully shorter) years that we will have together because it will be the last time you see me!

Today’s dear debt letter comes from Andrew! Andrew is a 28-year-old from Canada who recently started his own blog debtman.org to inspire others. He’s a new blogger, so let’s show him some love.

Dear Debt,

We met when I was the tender age of 19. You said, “I’ll get you through University.” I said, “Thanks, let’s be friends!” Quickly, our relationship turned from friendly to irresponsible…

Who had $55,000 worth of non-mortgage debt by the time they were 25? This guy right here.  What did that $55,000 represent?

1. Student loans: $30,000 ($17,500 @ 5.25%; 12,500 @ 3%)
2. Credit card: $5,000 (11%)
3. Car loan: $20,000 (5.5%)

I graduated university at 25, and had 6 months until I had to start making payments on my student loans. Like most recent university grads, I thought that I would graduate, find a great paying job immediately (our instructors led us to believe so, so why wouldn’t we think otherwise? (Shakes head)), and the payments would be easily met.

That obviously wasn’t the case. I graduated university, and couldn’t find a permanent position for 4 months. Luckily, I found a temporary position, which lasted 3 months, and paid well enough to pay off my credit card, while paying my monthly expenses, within those 3 months of working for that company.

Continuing with my naivety at the time, I purchased a lightly used car (price tag: $20,000) while working for that company. Yes, that’s right: I purchased a $20,000 car while knowing that my contract was over within 90 days. Looking back now, I think what an idiot I was. At the time, I thought I was playing the car dealership knowing that I was out of a job soon, but really they were playing me with a 5.5% interest loan.

Within that 1 month off, after my contract ended, I found a permanent position. Starting salary: $40,000. You would think I would be happy with that offer, but truth be told, I was annoyed. One of my instructors said I would easily earn $70,000 when I got my first job, so was this a reflection of me?

Of course not; it was a unionized position with a salary scale. Also, I quickly learned that what instructors tell you in class is not always the journey for everyone. Within those 3 years, I was promoted, and doubled my salary.  Like I said, not everyone has the same journey. So, do what works for yours.

During that time, my net income averaged $3,000/month, and my expenses averaged $1,800. My company put 15% of my pre-tax income into a pension plan automatically. With the extra $1,200 I had each month, I didn’t do what was expected of me… pay off the loans.

Instead, I did what I felt was right for my journey, and put it in a tax-free savings account (TFSA).  This gave me a sense of security, while only paying the minimums on my loans. I also put all of my tax refunds in my TFSA. Once I had accumulated enough to pay off the car loan, I paid it off. Then, I moved on to saving again, and once I had enough for the student loan with the 5.25% interest rate, I paid that off in one swoop.

And, lastly, I did it one last time for the student loan at 3%, for a final KO*. I expected to feel this amazing high, while the clouds in the sky opened up saying, “Congratulations, you’re debt free!” Instead, I sat there looking at the student loan provider’s website, wondering when the balance would get updated. It took close to 2 weeks, so it didn’t really feel over, until it was over. I eventually saw the $0 balance, and the smile was there: I did it.

It’s almost been a year since that smile, and I can tell you it only gets better from there.  My final words: Keep your focus, because the end result is abso-fucking-lutely worth it!** Debt, we are no longer friends, and I can’t say I miss you. 

*I know this cost me more in interest than if I had paid off the loan with larger payments, but I did what made me sleep better at night.

**Bonus points if you know where that word is from. 

Hey debt fighters! Today’s dear debt letter offers a fresh perspective, from someone who has to clean up debt’s mess. Today’s letter is from Ted Michalos, a bankruptcy trustee and co-founder of Hoyes, Michalos & Associates Inc. Hoyes Michalos was founded as a firm that takes a respectful and personalized approach to debt management and recovery, to help people gain a lasting fresh financial start.

Dear Debt,

We need to talk.  I’m the guy that has to come along behind you and clean up the mess you create. Credit is a “good” thing – we congratulate people for having achieved enough status in their life to qualify for credit.  Unfortunately, as soon as someone uses credit it turns into you, Debt.  And sorry, but you sir are “bad”.

I am not holding you wholly responsible – there is more than enough blame for everyone involved, but someone needs to warn people about you.

You start out harmless enough.  A person qualifies for their first credit card or loan.  You make them feel so proud, so grown up. However, from that magical moment forward you put them at risk of having you take over their life. Until the card gets used there is no debt, so there is no problem, but you’re always waiting for your chance to grow. You entice them with the concept of having it all now, and you’re pretty quiet about the cost.

Here’s the thing that you don’t remind them about, so I will – credit should be a replacement for cash. It is not a replacement for money.  You should only use credit when you have sufficient money to pay off the balance so Debt doesn’t find you.  If you don’t pay off the balance every month then Debt takes over and he asks for something in return. He charges interest.

Interest is the cost of using someone else’s money – the cost of incurring debt.  The truly crazy part (of course you know this Debt) is the more debt a person has the more expensive the interest charges become.  So just when a person needs a break or a little help, you tell them, “sorry, but you owe so much now that I’m afraid you may not pay me back.  I’m going to have to charge you even more to use my money…”  Shame on you.

Why am I writing you this letter?  What do I want you to do?

I guess I’m just venting.  You won’t change.  The only solution is to change the behaviour of your consumer.

The problem with this is our entire economy is built around the use of credit, the incurring of debt.  The newest greatest gadget comes on the market and people want it today.  No money?  No problem.  You slyly pre-approved them for more credit.  It’s your way of keeping people tied to you.   You must be proud of yourself – you’ve done one helluva job getting everyone onside with your program.

I thought after writing you this letter I‘d feel a little better – I don’t.  Tomorrow I know I will have that senior citizen couple in my office that incurred a bunch of debt to help their family members out, and you’re not really there to help them.

I’ll get to see the single mom that incurred a bunch of student debt to make a better life for herself and her children, only to find out, she can’t earn enough to make you go away and pay her living expenses each month.  Or maybe it will be the guy from the plant that has had all of his overtime cut.  He was living the good life based on the overtime never ending – now he makes 25% less and you want a bigger share of the pie.

Well, hopefully just one person reading this will be wary of you Debt; before it becomes too late. Before you consume so much of their pay that they are one of the people I meet with every day. Perhaps we can tackle you with education, one person at a time.

Sincerely,

Ted Michalos,

Co-founder of Hoyes, Michalos & Associates Inc.

Debt Management Experts

Hey everyone! Today we have a fantastic dear debt letter from Latoya. Latoya is a wife and mother of two who lives in Columbia, SC.  She is working towards paying off $79,733 in debt to be exact. Her goal is to be finished paying off her debt within the next 5 years.  Latoya is a freelance writer for hire who writes at Life and a Budget about life and money.

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Dear Debt,

I really can’t stand your ugly ass.

You weigh me down and cause me unnecessary stress.  I think about you all the time when there are much better things to be concerned about.  I wonder what I’ll feel like on that special day when you will no longer exist in my life.

The day your ugly ass can no longer call a place in my life home, will be the best day ever.

You lured me in with your enticements when I was only a baby.  Fresh outta high school without a dollar to my name, you made me fall in love with you.  I’ll admit you had me whipped.  Had me acting a fool over you.  I loved you hard.  You supplied all of my young needs.  I was so eager to use you – never thinking of how I would pay ten times over for enjoying the temporary pleasure you provided.

I had no protection from you.

I didn’t know what I was getting myself into because I wasn’t taught any better. In school we’re taught to protect ourselves from unwanted pregnancies and diseases, but taught little about your ugly ass and how you can taunt us for decades if we don’t take precautionary measures against you.

If I’d known what I was up against, I could have prepared mentally and financially.

The income from my summer internships wouldn’t have been wasted on providing you with your minimum monthly maintenance.  I could have invested that money and watched it grow.  I could have practiced the art of self discipline.  Instead, I’m trying to teach my 31-year-old self tricks I could have learned years ago.

Half of the stuff you brought into my life I didn’t even need. College students didn’t need the latest from Victoria Secret, Foot Locker, or Macy’s.  The only thing I needed was my mind and the education which I set out for.

Anyway, I’m tired of your ugly ass stalking me.

I have become exasperated by your ability to multiply even though we aren’t cool like that anymore.  I want you to leave me alone and I’ve decided to do something about you. I’m coming for you.

I’m an ex-lover scorned and I can’t wait to annihilate your ass.  The clock is quickly winding down on your ass, so I hope you’re prepared.  You can’t do this to me anymore.  I will not let you have anymore of my present or my future.

I hope you’re prepared to say goodbye. The day is coming quickly and there isn’t a thing you can do about it.  Got any questions?  I hope not because I’m no longer answering to you.

Dueces.

Hey debt fighters! We have another great dear debt letter by Chonce who blogs at My Debt Epiphany. Chonce is a personal finance freelance writer and blogger working her way out of $30,000 in debt. You can follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

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Dear Debt,

You’ve officially trapped me. Everywhere I turn, I see you. If I want to move forward, I need to get past you. You lured me in with fantasies and dreams of a more fulfilling life. Once I took the bait, I realized only I can make my life more fulfilling and worthwhile.

I can’t blame you completely though. I am part of the problem as well. I tried to take responsibility. I tried to go over you. Tried to peek around you to see what would await me on the other side but you pushed back with a remarkable force.

I’m trapped by you. Every time I try to break free, I feel you tugging at my arm as if we are in this together…As if I need you to survive and make it.

When you’re trapped for a while, you start to lose hope and forget what your life was like before you fell under. You start to settle and believe that things will never change. You may even consider giving up the fight.

I have heard stories of people who broke free from the trap and I believe in life after debt.

So dear debt, my message for you is to enjoy your time. Cherish it actually. Because the harder you try, the harder I will try. I promise you I won’t be trapped by you much longer.

Sincerely,

Your best-frenemy, Chonce

Dear Debt,

How many seconds, days, months do we have left together? You know you’re on your way out and you’re trying to test me.

You want to make things hard for me. You want to see me squirm as I try to stay strong and get rid of you. You keep playing mind games with me, but I know you are just messing with me, because you’re the one scared of being alone.

I won’t deal with your crap any longer. I don’t care whatever you throw my way in the next few months, but I’m kicking you out.

Even if it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

I am saying no to the depression you cause me. I am saying no to the anxiety and fear you have instilled in me.

I know I’m worth so much more than you ever had me believe. You did a good job of convincing me I was worthless, but I’ve gotten smart.

If there’s one thing I know about you, it is that you’re sneaky. You like to play tricks. But I’m done with playing games. You are a man-child and need to grow up.

I am older and wiser and I have changed, but you’re still the immature child I met when I was 17.

It’s time for me to move on and experience real life. Real adulthood. Not some stunted adolescence.

Good riddance.

Hey everyone! Today’s dear debt letter is from Keshna. She is from New Jersey and has a total of $40,882.95 in debt. Follow her blog/website, www.doniastudio.co.

Dear Debt,

You’ve followed me around everywhere. It’s time I let you go. You are like a dark cloud that I cannot escape. I can see the sun rays. I can feel the warmth. I’m leaving you and I needed you to know IT’S OVER! Many people are misinformed about you. They think there are good versions of you. You’ve fooled this designer enough. I am ready to start my business and I won’t let you hold me back any longer. Good riddance, goodbye, and I will never see you again!

P.S. I’m telling all my friends to stay away from you!