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6 Unconventional Money Tips That May Change The Way You Think About Money

by Melanie
written by Melanie

Unconventional-Money-Tips

There is a lot of financial advice out there, and sometimes it’s really hard to sift through all the voices. But the beauty of personal finance is that it’s personal. You do what’s best for you. While I respect the expertise of many in the community, I also like to do things in an unconventional way. Here are my 6 unconventional money tips:

1. Don’t Buy a House

Many people think that houses are a great investment and will provide a large return in the future. This idea, coupled with the fact that we need a place to live seems to make home ownership attractive. Home ownership is also seen as part of the American Dream, and one of the rites of passage to adulthood.

Read more and share your tips at VOSA.com

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side hustle

A Guide to Selling Your Stuff to Pay Off Debt

by Melanie
written by Melanie

vintagedresses

Paying off debt is no fun. It takes a lot of emotional energy and can really drain your finances. One way to jumpstart your debt payments is by selling your stuff. I’m a minimalist and have sold everything I can to get some extra money to pay off debt. The extra bonus is having more space, and less clutter! You don’t need to go overboard and sell all of your personal belongings. But think about it; many of us have stuff lying around the house that we rarely – if ever – use or need. Selling off your unwanted things not only helps simplify and streamline your life, but it can also give you extra cash to put towards your debts. Here’s how to get started.

Start Sorting

You can begin the process by tackling each room in your home and sorting through your belongings bit by bit. Create three piles. One can be dedicated to stuff that you want to save, one can be tossed or donated, and one can be sold. Be honest with old clothing in particular. If you haven’t worn that vintage teal sundress in three summers, will you really break it out this year? Probably not, but someone else might love it.  One person’s trash is another person’s treasure!

Hold a Yard Sale

One of the tried and true ways to sell your belongings is through a good, old-fashioned yard sale. Make signs, put an advertisement in the paper and plug it on Facebook. When you sell your clothing face to face, be prepared for some haggling. There are professional yard sale experts who do the rounds looking for bargains to upsell elsewhere, so stand your ground and don’t agree to a price you feel is unfair. You can always sell a more expensive piece online or to an antiques shop.

Create Online Listings

If you live in an apartment like me, or can’t sell all of your stuff at a yard sale, you can take your items and put them up online. Selling things online is pretty easy and can be done from the luxury of your own home. There are many options worth looking into like eBay, Craigslist, or Quicksales in Australia. I like the Craigslist and Quicksales options because there are no selling fees and you can target local buyers more effectively. However, be careful when using sites like Craigslist or eBay, as there are a lot of scammers. You can increase your chances of attracting legitimate buyers by taking good photos of your belongings and writing accurate descriptions.

Throw All Extra Money to Debt

You won’t get rid of your debt right away, but having extra money to throw at it certainly helps! As soon as you cash that check, or deposit the cash, you can pay off the same amount in debt.

Selling your unwanted “stuff” is not only a good way to pay down debt, but it can help you focus on only buying the things that you truly want or need. It frees up your space and you are less likely to continue down the cycle of consumerism when you realize how fun it is to sell your stuff and be a minimalist. Also, each extra payment toward debt will get you closer to debt freedom.

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lifemoneyrelationships

Financial Infidelity

by Melanie
written by Melanie

A few years ago I worked with a man who was going through a divorce. He and his soon-to-be ex-wife had a kid, and he was coming to terms with his newly single life, and being independent.

He was also dealing with a much different financial situation.  His then wife had spent their kids’ entire college savings on online video games – to the tune of $30,000. Gone, just like that.

I was shocked.

$30,000 on video games, right under his nose? To make matters worse, she became a total recluse, and found an online lover. You can’t make this shit up.  Of course he decided to end it and left.

My heart broke for the kid. He could very well be in the same position that I’m in, mired in student loan debt, because his mom spent all his college money on online distractions.

Just last week, I was at a café and overheard a woman venting to her friend. You could tell she was pissed.

“He said he was going to stop, but I found out he spent $10,000 on video games and beer last year!”. Her friend was trying to politely console her.

I kept thinking about financial infidelity, or when your partner actively breaks your trust, hides things from you, and spends your money in a selfish and destructive manner.

How can you get over that? When the money is gone, it’s gone.

We like to think that love transcends money, but money is a key player in our relationships. It’s the number one cause of divorce, and people are scared to talk about it. Money becomes a symbol of power, oppression and privilege.  People use it to fuel secret desires, hidden addictions, and foolish hobbies.  Money can be the demise of your relationship, because unfortunately, sometimes love isn’t all you need.

Make money a key player in your relationship.  Have a ménage a trois with it.

Don’t let financial infidelity happen to you. Be honest with each other. Share your interests and hobbies. Come up with a savings plan. Attack your debt. Think of the big picture, and most importantly think of each other. Actions are not without their consequences. A partnership requires trust, and money is not excluded from that equation. Communicate. Again and again and again. Not all of it is easy or fun. But no one wants to feel like they are being duped or becoming resentful of their partner’s actions.

Have you been financially cheated on? Or know someone who has?

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end of month update

Show me the money

by Melanie
written by Melanie

It’s my favorite time of the month…..er, don’t know if that sounded right? 🙂 In the personal finance world, end of month updates are a great time to sneak a peek at people’s net worth updates, cheer on fellow debt bloggers, and generally keep up with what’s going on in the community. I love it!

I knew March was going to be a crazy month as I worked every single weekend. I thought the work was coming to an end and told myself I’d relax in April.  However, the late night carnival-esque side gig got extended through April. I’ve decided to only work three days for them the entire month. Going to bed at 4am on weekends, and then waking up at 7am during the week isn’t really working out too well.  I’m getting by, but that’s exactly what I’d call it. Yes, I’m making the money honey, but I’m pretty exhausted and have had moments where I felt like I was losing my mind (see downsides of side hustling).

I confidently scaled down on those hours because I happily booked other gigs! I have some freelance writing gigs in the queue and I can’t tell you how excited I am. Compared to always being on the go, juggling transportation, and eating when I can, I prefer the low-maintenance quality of writing at home.

In addition, I got a part-time job. In December, I worked a holiday party and had a great time. I sent my standard thank you, letting them know I am always available should they need my services again. Radio silence. Oh well, I thought. Some of these gigs are really one-off. Three months later, they contacted me and said they want me to be their part-time events assistant! It’s at a Jewish congregation (and I’m not Jewish), and it’s really fascinating to learn more about the culture and their celebrations. You never really know what one side gig will lead to (see the benefits of side hustling). The work is only 2-5x per month, so it won’t be too consuming.

All in all, I’m juggling my real job, carnival, congregation, and writing! Part of me wants to apologize here for not being as active/supportive to my friends, but I have to remember I’m not doing anything wrong.

The best part of all of this, is that I got some more work for my partner, too! Both the carnival and congregation were in need of more people, so I told them I knew the perfect person. The couple that makes money together, stays together?

Overall, It’s been a pretty good month. I made $778 in side hustle income, and more of that will hit in April. The first half I also spent a lot on food. In addition, my taxes were withdrawn and I had some other unexpected bills.

I know what you are thinking…..SHOW ME THE MONEY!

I put $1,206 towards my student loan debt this month.

I am hoping to continue at this pace, but won’t be too hard on myself as I’m looking forward to a break. In two weeks, I am taking the whole weekend off (gasp) and going wine tasting all weekend. We’ll even be staying at a hotel (that was free from credit card points!) an hour outside of Portland. At this point, it’s much-needed and the one thing keeping me going.

Aside from all the work, I did have some fun. I got to meet Mackenzie in person, which was a dream. She is such a talented writer and amazing person. Meeting people in real life motivates me to no end, so I’m thrilled about FinCon.

How was March for you? What do you have to look forward to in April?

 

 

 

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dear debt letter

Dear Debt Letter: Mario from Debt BLAG and Adventures in Frugal

by Melanie
written by Melanie

Melanie’s Note: We have an awesome dear debt letter from Mario! Mario maintains two personal finance blogs: At DebtBLAG.com, he talks about getting out of debt and saving toward retirement and at AdventuresInFrugal.com, he talks about using frugality and other personal finance tools to live a life he enjoys. Happy Friday and show him some love! If you are interested in ‘consciously uncoupling’ with your debt, contact me.

Dear Debt – We need to talk.

It’s hard to believe that it’s been, what, seven years now? It seems like only yesterday that we met for the first time — I needed a little something extra for the house and didn’t have the money at the time and there you were. You were ready and willing to give what seemed like everything to me. But from then on, it was all about you.

I’ve never mentioned this before, but my friends didn’t take to you. They said you were manipulative and controlling — that you specialized in sucking the life out of men’s mind, heart, and soul.

I wanted to believe that they were wrong — that I could stay in control of who I was despite letting you into my life.

But they were right.

You worked your way in, slowly at first, but surely. For so many years you were always in the back of my mind, making me feel inadequate, trapped.

But maybe that was my problem, not yours.

In the end, let’s just say we’re into different things.

For example, you like lifelong commitment. You like lavish spending that I can’t afford. You like sacrificing all kinds of tomorrows to live it up today.

And I don’t like you.

Anyhow, I hope we can be cool about this. Really, the only thing I’d want back would be that polo shirt you slept in a couple months back just because you know how hard it is for me to find clothes that fit well and…

You know what, just keep it.

-Mario

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Uncategorized

In Defense of Expensive Cities

by Melanie
written by Melanie

Most-Expensive-Cities-USAIn the personal finance world, we are always talking about ways to save money; cut out lattes, clip coupons, implement no-spend days, pack your lunch, etc. Some people have gone so far to suggest that people should move from high cost of living areas like New York, Los Angeles, and San Francisco to more affordable areas to save money. I don’t think that this is terrible advice, but I don’t think it works for everyone either.

I was born and raised in Los Angeles, California; not a cheap place by any stretch of the imagination. My studio apartment cost $1,000 per month and I had to have a car. Between gas, insurance, and repairs, it was a money sink. Living on a nonprofit salary wasn’t easy, but I did it.

Read more of my post on VOSA.com

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blog

Thoughts on Blogging

by Melanie
written by Melanie

I have been blogging for over a year now, and it’s been quite the ride. I started out as Do or Debt, and realized I didn’t want to be considered doordebt. I later had an epiphany and realized I wanted something more creative and came up with the concept Dear Debt, or writing break up letters to debt.

Initially, I was inspired to start my blog after stalking Kathleen and finally meeting her in person. She had me convinced; I could share my voice and my experience, while writing my way out of debt.

The first six months were pretty rough for me. I couldn’t really find my voice, knew nothing about SEO or any other weird acronyms, was a technology neophyte, and felt paranoid about revealing too much of myself as I was in hardcore job search mode.

Now I finally feel comfortable in my own digital skin. I’ve found my voice and feel part of a community. As I work through blogging, experimenting, and trying to improve, I keep the following in mind:

Don’t Apologize

It’s your blog ,write about what you want. If it’s not about personal finance, or whatever niche you are in, it’s okay. Once again, it’s your blog and people come to read what you have to say. If you decide you need a break from blogging, that’s okay too. If you don’t respond to comments right away, that’s okay, too. The world isn’t going to end.

I see a lot of apologies going around and I don’t think it’s necessary. We don’t need to live in the culture of ‘sorry’. I’ve been guilty of this in the past, but I realize that it’s okay and I don’t need to apologize, because I’m not doing anything wrong.

Speak Your Truth

Everyone’s experience is different and that’s why we follow so many different blogs. We can find people we relate to, or people who are living the lives we want. The point is don’t try to be someone else. Be authentic. Be passionate.  Speak your truth, even if it’s hard to say. You are unique and people want to read your stuff because you are different from other people.

Be Honest, but Not Too Honest

I think speaking your truth and being honest is really important. It helps people relate to you and offers insights into your life. If you are a regular reader here, you know some of my posts can be ‘raw’, ‘emotional’, or ‘out there’. While those may be my signature attributes, I also have to be careful. A few weeks ago, in the midst of exhaustion I wrote a post that was a pretty big downer. I wrote it, posted it, then headed straight to work. Then I started to panic and felt really vulnerable. I had shared very personal thoughts about my emotional state of affairs that were probably better kept private. My blog shouldn’t be a diary, or a therapy session. While I am committed to being open, honest, and truthful with my readers, everyone should have boundaries.

Focus on Engagement, Not Analytics

It’s easy to obsess over your analytics and readership. You can spend hours combing over your views, visitors, comments, search terms, and referrals. It can be a vicious cycle; on a good day, you are flying high because your views are up. Conversely, on days where your viewership is low, you may feel low. I’ve recently been on this roller coaster and it’s not sustainable. Your time  would be better spent on improving your blog, creating good content, etc. Analytics are important, but they shouldn’t be tied to your self-esteem or the worth of your blog. Focus your energy on genuine engagement with others. I am happy to say that I have blogging friends in real life, and digital friends that I feel are just as good. You know who you are. I may not be the best, or most popular of bloggers, but I am happy with my engagement and that’s what I am going to focus on. I’m committed to creating a community of support, love, and care to everyone who is fighting their battle with debt. I’m interested in empowering all of us, in debt or not, to live the lives we want, and to be financially sound and secure.

Do you have any other thoughts or tips on blogging? I’d also like to share some of my favorite new (or new to me) blogs.

TrendyCheapo – almost debt free!
DebtDebs – new blogger and working through her debt
Debt Free Martini – with a name like that, how could you not follow? I want a debt free martini.
Stop Worrying About Money – wow, that name is just brilliant for SEO. Adam is also super likable and writes good content.
Marilyn Knows Money – NYC blogger writing about money and career tips. I dig her style!

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career

10 Tips for Maximizing Your Benefits at Work

by Melanie
written by Melanie

Melanie’s Note: I have a special treat for you today. My mom, who is pretty much my #1 fan and so supportive, is on the blog today sharing her expertise in employee benefits. Whenever I have questions, or start a new job, I ask her for advice. Enjoy and feel free to ask any questions.

Dear Debt Readers:

I am continually inspired by your comments, guest posts and “Dear Debt” letters. I applaud your courage in opening your financial underwear drawer and sharing your debt and financial stories!

For the past 30 or so years, I’ve been in the Human Resources field both administering and managing employee benefit plans and I wanted to share my top 10 insights with the “Dear Debt” readers in hopes that I will help you avoid some financial landmines in selecting and using your employee benefits.

1. Starting or Changing Jobs?

You wouldn’t take a new job without finding out how much you’re going to be paid so you should apply that same logic to finding out about the company’s benefit program before you accept that new job. Key things to find out include:

  • What plans do they offer?
  • How much will you have to pay?
  • What doctors can you use?
  • Who can be covered under your plan?

Afraid to ask these questions? Check out the company website as many will list some basic benefit information in their “Careers” or “Working for Us” sections.

2. Enroll timely and choose wisely

Most companies give you a window in which to make your choices and if you miss this opportunity, you can (depending on the company) be assigned coverage or be without coverage. Take the time to enroll within the prescribed time or you may have to wait for a year to make changes

 3. Don’t misrepresent your relationship status

Does your company permit you to enroll your domestic partner in the company medical plan? If so – that’s great. If they don’t – be very careful about misrepresenting your relationship status just to get insurance for your honey. It’s very common now for companies to audit their plans to identify these ineligible dependents. If you’re found to have a non-eligible dependent you could be charged for their medical expenses paid by the plan and could quite possible lose your job as well. Ask yourself if it’s worth this risk?

 4. Find out how to use your plan – before you have to use it!

When you’re sick, your first priority should be to get well. Worrying about the cost of care doesn’t help your recovery.

I was pregnant with Melanie when I ended up in the hospital for the first time. And it wasn’t for her delivery. I had the misfortune of rupturing my appendix when I was six months pregnant and ended up in the hospital for two weeks. This was before I was in the employee benefits field. While my first priority was to get better and ensure Melanie was okay as well, I wondered how we’d handle our portion of a lengthy hospital stay. This worry was further exacerbated when Melanie was born two months early and was in the NICU for almost two months.

We were very fortunate on so many levels.

  • We were both healthy!
  • Although our combined bills were close to 100k (this was almost 30 years ago so I shudder to think what that would be today), our out-of-pocket was ZERO! This was primarily because the care was provided at the hospital I worked at so they waived deductibles and coinsurance.

5. Don’t forget the value of other plans such as life and disability insurance

You’ll want to get some level of coverage in both of these categories to provide for your loved ones when you pass on or to provide you with income if you can’t work.

I’m fortunate to live in the State of California where we have State Disability Insurance which is deducted from my pay like any other taxes. For any medical leave that I’ve been on over the years, I’ve been fortunate to have full pay by using a combination of California State Disability and sick leave.

As for life insurance – you’ll want to have coverage that isn’t tied to your work so if you change jobs and they don’t offer as much coverage you won’t have a decrease.

6.  Don’t forget to update your Benefits as your life changes

Getting married? Having a baby? Got divorced? Make sure you review and update your benefits accordingly as your life changes. Most companies allow you a limited window of about 30 days to make changes after a life event occurs.  Don’t miss this window! One of the most heart-breaking part of my job is to tell a new parent that they have to wait to enroll their baby into the plan because they missed this window.

7.  Got divorced? Make sure you remove your ex from all of your plans!

Imagine how you’d feel if your loved one passed away and you discovered that s/he didn’t update his beneficiary designation to include you? Worse yet – what if the ex was still listed? Imagine how I have felt having to deliver this news!

8. Don’t forget to save for retirement

Here are my tips to make it easier:

  • If your company provides a match – you’re leaving money on the table if you don’t get in the plan ASAP.
  • It’s becoming more common place for companies to auto-enroll employees in the plan. If your company does this – just keep it going – don’t cancel. What you don’t “see” as take home pay – you won’t miss.
  • If the investment choice seem overwhelming, many companies offer life cycle funds which are rebalanced as you get closer to retirement. Simply pick a fund that is closest to the year you’ll retire.
  • If you want to contribute more but want to see the impact on your pay before you make this commitment – check out sites like Paycheckcity.com to do some modeling.
    • I was once able to increase my savings by $100 and not impact my take home pay because I offset the increase with a change in my tax withholding

 9. Educational Reimbursement

Many companies will reimburse your college coursework after you’ve worked for them for a period of time. Typically there are annual limits and may exclude fees and the cost of books. In my old job, I was able to obtain two professional certifications using this benefit.

10. Take advantage of any unique benefits your employer offers.

My current employer offers up to $400 for wellness activities if you complete a simple Health Risk Assessment. Other unique benefits that might be offered include discounts to movies; amusement parks or plans such as pet insurance.

What is the most valued benefit you have at your job? What is the most unique offering?

 

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debtgoalslife

Don’t Give Up Hope

by Melanie
written by Melanie

When you want to give up

Throw in the towel

Be done with this shit

Cry in the corner

Scream in a pillow

Don’t give up hope

Believe in yourself.

Believe in possibilities.

You may not see it now, the hard work you are doing.

It doesn’t make any sense does it? Why would it?

It’s nonsense and all sense.

Life is beautiful, even amidst the chaos.

If you are buried in debt, take a deep breath. Be grateful you are alive.

Enjoy food that keeps you nourished.  The roof over your head.

If you hate your job, be grateful you have one, and try to get out.

If you don’t have a job, keep looking. Have faith. Things change.

It’s all cyclical.

But most of all, don’t give up hope.

If you are single, and lonely and can’t find love, enjoy your friends. Enjoy your hobbies. Enjoy freedom in your solitude.

If you are in a partnership, say ‘I love you’ everyday. Remember why you fell in love. Savor that moment. Replay it in the cinema of your mind.

But if you feel like your world is falling apart, don’t give up hope.

It’s a test. Life will throw many of them at you. It might shake you to the core, change your outlook.

It might make you wary, tired, or depressed.

Just don’t give up hope.

If it’s really bad, please seek help.

You are not alone.

If you dream of better days, keep those dreams alive.

This is only temporary.

If you are living your dreams, give back to others who need some support.

We need you.

You can do it.

You can get out of debt. You can find the love of your life. You can move where you want. You can find a different job. You can find a job. You can make money at your passions.

The broken record is just that, broken.

Put on something new.

Even if everything is telling you “No”, fight to say “Yes”.

You have to want it.

Just don’t give up hope.

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debt

Life and Debt

by Melanie
written by Melanie

I met with some friends earlier this week that I hadn’t seen in a while.  It was so nice to catch up and hear how they are doing. Most of them had exciting news to share: One was moving to Spain at the end of summer to teach, another recently moved and started a new job. We shared stories of the people we knew and caught up on everyone’s life.

When it was my turn to share what was new, I had remarkably little to share.

“I’ve been crazy busy, working a lot”, I said. I told them how I work sometimes till 3am on the weekend, and the various side gigs I have.

“Do you need to work that much? I mean you have a full-time job”, one of my friends responded.

I replied that I am working my way out of debt, and my friends know that is important to me. But I still could feel their discomfort with me working so hard. I can feel my own exhaustion permeating my bones. The conversation quickly changed, because it’s not really exciting to talk about how you are working all the time. It’s not sexy (to pf outsiders) to talk about how much debt you are getting rid of per month.

I left the meeting with my friends feeling pretty low. It was so nice to catch up with them, and I was genuinely excited about their good news.  But the evil green-eyed monster came forward. I started to feel jealous. Why can’t I move to Spain? Why can’t I find a better paying job? Why can’t I have more adventures on the weekend?

The answer is simple and obvious. I could do most of those things if I wasn’t so serious about paying off debt. It hurts so much to feel like I’m putting my dreams on hold though.  If I die tomorrow, will I be happy that I worked every weekend? Will I be happy that I spend one night a week with my partner? Will I be glad that I traveled less?

I’m really not trying to have some YOLO-inspired post about how I should give up on being so rigorous with my debt repayment. However, it does feel like I’m really missing out.

I’ve decided that I need to practice more self-care, and after this marathon of work ends this month, I am going to start relaxing more. I deserve to pay myself with some time and love; because at the end of the day, working everyday doesn’t mean anything if you can’t buy more time, or more freedom.

How do you balance your life goals and debt repayment?

 

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