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Can You Be Addicted to Paying Off Debt?

by Melanie
written by Melanie

For the past 18 months, I’ve been aggressively paying off debt. Most months I am putting over 50% of my income towards my student loans. Some months that has put me in a difficult situation, but it has been my choice to pay extra.

It was my choice to deplete my $10k emergency fund and throw the majority of it to debt. Now that I have $1.5k in an EF, I’m feeling a little vulnerable. I miss my safety blanket. I miss the cushion. I miss logging into my account and seeing that I DO have some money to my name.

All of this has got me thinking — can you be addicted to paying off debt?

I know what you are thinking — that how can this addiction be bad? Debt is evil and paying it off would be a win-win situation.

But think about it this way — my feverish intensity with wanting my debt gone has made me push everything to the wayside in the effort to pay off debt. I’ve put paying off debt above everything, including my relationship, my health, and my sanity. I’m not proud of it either. I’m an all-or-nothing gal, so finding a balance seems hard.

I think one can be addicted to paying off debt, at the expense of other priorities. Many debt bloggers are neglecting their retirement funds (myself included), relationships, and emergency funds all because of the thrill of making another payment.

The RUSH of seeing the number go down. The POWER of knowing your interest is lowering. It’s all so exhilarating. Like a junkie, I’m always thinking about when I can make my next payment. How much will it be this time? Am I closer to my goal?

Even though it can be so addicting and exciting, it is also exhausting too. I look at my original goal of being debt free in 4 years. That would require me to make payments of roughly $1,300 for the next 30 months. That is seriously depressing and I don’t know if I can do it.

I don’t want to give up and I don’t want to let you down. But I may have other priorities come my way. I might want to increase my emergency fund. Pay more to retirement. It doesn’t mean I’m any less serious about getting out of debt. Just offering myself some breathing room.

What is amazing is this: when I started this blog I was making $12/hr as a seasonal employee and there was no way in heck I could payoff my debt in 4 years. I just made up a number that sounded nice, with no real financial backing. Why? Because I felt like it could happen. Then I got a better paying job, and have been side hustling my butt off. I could technically keep up the pace and actually make my once unfathomable dream come true.

And isn’t that the way — as soon as something is in reach, things change. Your desire changes, life changes. Things happen that give you a new perspective.

All of this to say, I am still committed to getting out of debt. I will do my best at reaching my deadline. But I won’t beat myself up if I don’t make it. But hopefully I will continue to increase my income and I’ll be able to fund all of my priorities. I caution people in the debt payoff process of putting too much to debt at the expense of your mental health and financial safety. It’s probably not worth it.

So I’ll keep moving along. One payment at a time. Every single day. Working towards my life goals, not only my debt goal.

Besides, what will I write about once I’m debt free? 🙂 Only time will tell.

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moneyrelationships

What My Relationship Taught Me About Money

by Melanie
written by Melanie

What My Relationship Taught Me About Money

On Monday, my partner and I celebrated our six-year anniversary. It’s been an amazing, life-changing ride. We met on a blind date that was set up by a friend and we hit it off immediately.

Six years, three states (California, New York, and now Oregon), many jobs, and ups-and-downs later, we have had quite an adventure. I’m excited for our future, as both of us are now doing well with work and following our dreams. Things are less stressful and we can enjoy just being together.

In many ways, my relationship has taught me a lot about money. My philosophies for both have been informed by my experiences and values. Here are three things my relationship taught me about money.

Protect It

No one should care more about your money than you. So invest in yourself, save money, spend on your values and protect it. The same goes for a relationship. A relationship, like money, needs to be preserved, and constantly worked on. You should protect it and care for it. The dividends paid on taking care of your money and relationship will be so rewarding.

There Will Be Good Times and Bad Times

Relationships can be hard work. You are taking two different people and creating a life together. Things like jobs, values, family, and dreams can become conflicts in creating your future together. You are no longer only taking care of yourself — you are living your life, always thinking about another person. Relationships require care, maintenance, and in my opinion requires learning and growing together to keep going.

Life is a roller coaster, and there will be good times and bad times. In our six years, we’ve dealt with him being unemployed, me being unemployed, me being a breadwinner, both of us being in school at the same time, and being long-distance. We are finally at a place where we are both working and somewhat stable and it feels so nice. During the bad times it can feel like they will never end. You can easily lose perspective of the love and deep affection that keeps you together. But remember, things get better.

The same thing goes for money. I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would be unemployed and on food stamps after graduate school. It was a very low moment for me and our relationship, especially as I had just moved from NYC to Portland to be with him. Everything felt like a struggle. But eventually, things started to get better.

Regardless of your current financial situation, there will be good times and bad times. Don’t rest on your laurels if you are enjoying success. Don’t feel like your life is over if you have unexpectedly dealt with a frustrating money challenge.

In relationships and money, there are good times and bad. Prepare for both, and practice gratitude to get you through it all.

It’s Personal

One of my favorite things about personal finance? It’s personal. I know it’s somewhat cliché to say at this point, but it’s true. There are no two financial blueprints that look the same. My relationship, and our decisions on how to live our lives, are all personal decisions as well.

We have decided not to have kids. We are not interested in buying a house. We want a creatively fulfilling, engaging, adventure-filled life. We don’t need a lot. We just need each other and some money to get by. Perhaps our way of life sounds immature, rebellious, or just plain boring to some, but it works for us.

In the end, you have to do what is right for you. Invest in what is important to you, and value relationships above all (yes, even over money).

What has your relationship taught you about money? If you are single, what lessons might you share with us “committed” folk? 🙂

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dear debt letter

The name of the game is: Survival

by Melanie
written by Melanie

Hello friends! I have a beautiful, raw, and heart-wrenching dear debt letter for you. I have to admit, I cried a little when I read it. Debt is so hard to deal with, but I want to assure you that we can overcome it together. You are not alone. You are not crazy for feeling what you are feeling. Thank you to Shelly, who submitted this beautiful piece.

More about Shelly: Shelly S. grew up an army brat, traveled the country, traveled the world, studied ecology in college and graduated to become an artist, healer, and environmental activist. One day she would like to co-create an intentional prepper community of tiny houses and a food forest. But first she’d like to get out of debt!

Dear debt,

How long will I feel like a victim of circumstance before I grow strong again and have the courage to face you, accept your presence and my part in it? Right now I am a coward. I seek approval from strangers by telling my story… The one that feels sad and justifies why you became a part of my life. I have told this story so many times and I have ruined too many moments of my life thinking about you, debt. It restricts how I go grocery shopping and I always have a few things left at the register that I give back because I can’t afford everything. It affects my diet and how crappy fast foods that I wouldn’t have touched years ago become part of my daily life. Debt affects if I get the plumbing fixed or the air conditioner working.

Does it sound weird to say that I have even considered not being wife material anymore because who would want to marry my unwelcome bedside fellow, debt.

Debt are you going to follow me everywhere? I am scared to see a doctor or a dentist because this will add to your size and one day I fear you will crush me.

It was my choice to use you. I signed every receipt and this made survival possible, but really…. Really. I hate you. I have considered bankruptcy. I just want to eliminate you. You are a recent addition to my life and I feel so much shame for being with you. Please leave me. Take my things, sell them off, pay the hospital and the credit cards. Take my house but leave me a little money to start fresh. Let me have a fresh start.

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dear debt letter

Cradle Robber

by Melanie
written by Melanie

Dear Debt,

I remember thinking that we would never be together. You were a dangerous, older man, and I was a young, naive female. At 17, I heard rumors about you; you were wild, naughty, and had been around the block a few times.

I wanted to stay far away from you but I was having a pretty hard time on my own, and you were there to pick me up. You seduced me and made me feel powerful. I thought that being in your arms everything would be alright. You gave me a false sense of safety.

I knew you had been with many women before me — it bothered me at first, but I chose to ignore it. I thought I was so hot being with an older man like you. Now, after all the damage, I feel like an idiot.

I was your young pretty thing, your fool. I should’ve known better. I believed every word you said about how you could make my life better. My youth is spent on you, and I’m trying to get those years and that money back.

I am cleaning up the havoc you caused. I have had a hard time trusting myself and my decisions. Our chemistry was a recipe for bad decisions. I’ve heard through friends that you are still making the rounds, seducing young women, and after you’ve done your damage you are nowhere to be found.

It’s hard to think that our relationship was all built on lies. Perhaps it was only the lies we tell ourselves? I understand now that people tried to warn me about you. I wanted to see the best in you.

But I’ve learned my lesson.

Regretfully,

Melanie

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How My Blog Changed My Life

How My Blog Changed My Life: Kali from Common Sense Millennial

by Melanie
written by Melanie

Hi everyone! Lately, I’ve simply been in awe with how much my life has changed since starting a blog. I feel like I have an amazing community, real-life friends, and fun freelance jobs because of it. If you have been following my journey since the beginning, you know that this is pretty much a complete shift for me. I was sad, depressed, and felt lost and without a purpose when I started out. The only thing defining me was my debt, which was a painful reminder of my mistakes. Now, I am excited to write my way out of debt and see what the future holds.

Thinking about all of this got me inspired to start a series called, “How My Blog Changed My Life.” This new series will feature a diverse array of bloggers whose lives have changed because of their blog. My hope is to inspire myself and others through this series. I’m so thrilled to have Kali on board from Common Sense Millennial as my first guest.

kali-hawlkIf you don’t know already, Kali is a rockstar. She is somehow so talented, gorgeous, and amazingly nice and helpful. And she just quit her job to be a full-time freelancer!

More about Kali: Kali Hawlk is a freelance writer and content manager who recently launched her full-time business. She’s passionate about personal finance, careers and business, and all things Gen Y – she writes about it all on her blog, Common Sense Millennial. An avid runner and horseback rider, she enjoys getting outside as often as possible when she’s not immersed in blogging and helping other small businesses build and manage their online presence.

1. What was the inspiration for starting your blog?

I’ve always been passionate about writing, and for years I had been interested in firing up my own blog. It took so long for me to get started because I had no idea what I wanted to write about. I didn’t feel like I had any worthwhile stories or experiences to share — until I started reading more and more personal finance blogs. (I was trying to do research on how to invest without a financial advisor!) From there, I realized that personal finance was something I had a pretty unique perspective on. I was 23, graduated without debt, owned a home, and was more interested in saving money and growing my wealth than acquiring material possessions. This was the polar opposite of most other twenty-somethings I knew, so I figured I might have something to say on the subject of Millennials and money.

2. What has been the most challenging part of having a blog?

Knowing what to write! It sounds funny, as now a large part of my income comes from brainstorming content ideas and then executing on those, but being confident about my own content that I’m writing, providing readers, and sharing with my network is tough for me. Specifically, I feel I have a hard time balancing valuable, useful content with personal and not-directly-finance-related posts. I want to be interesting and accessible, but I don’t want anyone to be like, “ugh, no one cares about what you did over the weekend.” So I struggle with that fine line of providing posts that are in line with my blog — personal finance, careers, Millennials — with ones that are just light and fun and a nice break in the constant talk about money.

3. In what ways, direct or indirect, has your life changed because of your blog?

My life has changed tremendously in a highly direct way because of my blog! And it’s all in a fabulous way, too. My blog allowed me to launch a new career and a business as a solopreneur. When I was first getting started and didn’t have much experience, I could point potential clients back to Common Sense Millennial to prove that I could talk the talk and walk the walk. My blog stood as my portfolio before I had one, and it also allowed me to make incredible connections in the community. Having a network is crucial to success if you want to launch something on your own — whether you just want to freelance or want to become a fully-fledged solopreneur. You need to have a few fantastic people who can vouch for you, who can help you find fresh work, and who can simply be there for you when you need them. (And don’t forget, that’s a two-way street; you’ll find people who need you, too!)

4. What have you learned from blogging?

Two major things come to mind immediately:

  • Practice is everything. If you want to improve at anything, you need to practice — endlessly, relentlessly.
  • People are everything, too. As I mentioned above, having a strong community of wonderful people around you is the key to success. You should value your blog readers, your fellow bloggers, and others who are leaders in your field, and treat those people accordingly.

5. What advice would you give to new bloggers who are thinking of starting a blog?

Most people will tell you to “just start.”And while this is great advice — inaction is a terrible thing — don’t be afraid to do a little planning ahead of time. Think about what your niche will be. Think about how you will connect with others in your space (and think about who those people are).

Take the time to learn how to set up your website in such a way that eventually scaling up your blog is a smooth and simple process (in other words, start with wordpress.org if you want to be serious about blogging). Search for a website theme and design that really suits your personal taste and the message you’re hoping to convey.

And then, yes, jump straight in. Start writing and keep writing.

Thank you Kali for sharing your experience!

 

 

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Uncategorized

Spending Money on What Really Matters

by Melanie
written by Melanie

We have all spent money on things that don’t really matter to us. Things that don’t improve our lives, make us feel better, etc.  Spending money, especially when you are in debt like me, can be an emotionally complicated issue. In the moment, you might be feeling great, but then guilt creeps in and lingers.

After careful study and exploring, I’ve discovered a way to avoid the guilt trap and spend money on things that really matter to me. Recently, I talked about how I spent $200 on my  6-year anniversary with my boyfriend. Did I feel guilty? Not one bit.

Find out how I started spending money on my values, and ditching guilt for good at VOSA.com.

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Uncategorized

May Meltdown

by Melanie
written by Melanie

Well, May was interesting. I officially scaled back some of my outside work and focused on writing, and online work (p.s. if you need a writer, holler!)

Overall, it has been going pretty well. I’m juggling my full-time work, with my freelance responsibilities, while making sure I rest, spend time with my man, and still have an awesome life. I seriously don’t know how some of you do it. I applaud you.

Financially, May was a rough month. Right before heading to the Oregon Coast for Memorial Day, my boyfriend’s car had a flat tire. 2 tires and $210 later we were on our way to the coast. I probably spent another $200 at the coast. Although it was Memorial Day, we decided to celebrate our 6-year anniversary a bit early. Our actual anniversary is in 2 weeks, but he has a gig. It was so wonderful to spend some alone time, away from the computer, and just enjoy the sunshine.

After saying 'I love you' after three weeks of dating. At a karaoke bar, of course.

After saying ‘I love you’ after three weeks of dating. At a karaoke bar, of course.

In addition, I purchased some concert tickets for later in the summer, and also had to put a very large expense on my credit card, for which I will be reimbursed. I also increased my retirement contributions from $50/month to $100/month.

To save you from suspense, I have to sadly admit that this has been the worst month for repayment since I started the blog in January 2013. 🙁

I was only able to put $366 to debt.

My current debt total is: $39,991.96

That is dangerously close to $40k and I can’t wait to make another payment. Usually I’d beat myself up over this, but here is why I’m not sweating it:

  • I don’t regret the money spent on our anniversary one bit
  • The tires were overdue for a change
  • I will get reimbursed a large amount of money, for expenses I had to pay for upfront (i.e. the money is coming).

Also, it feels pretty rad to log into my account and see this:

Screen shot 2014-06-02 at 11.39.49 PMI’m ahead, my loans aren’t even due until next year! Hehe, but I won’t be slacking off. Once I get reimbursed, I am going to throw the rest of it back to my student loans. I also expect to get some more checks this month. Although I was thrilled at putting $1400 to debt last month, this month was a disappointment. But that’s the name of the game with debt. Up, and down, joy, and pain — it’s a roller coaster.

So watch out June — I’m coming for you!

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dear debt letter

Dear Debt Letter from A Financial Underdog

by Melanie
written by Melanie

Hello! I have a special mid-week treat for you! An awesome dear debt letter from Financial Underdog, who writes at Money Ramblings and talks about his personal finance wins and challenges. If you’d like to write a dear debt letter, please get in touch.

Dear Debt,

It’s been a while since we’ve talked. Five years ago I’ve walked out on you. Five years ago I’ve decided to end it with you. And these five awesome years were filled with joy and happiness. In all honesty, I don’t miss you one bit.

We’ve met when I started going to college. A sweetheart counselor thought she’s doing me a favor by introducing me to you. See, I was new to this country, and didn’t know anybody, so it felt nice to have somebody to rely on. Too bad I’ve never finished college and had to go back to work, but you’ve stuck with me even after I dropped out.

Heck, we had some good times together.

My life felt easier when you were right next to me. You took me places, you bought me stuff. I remember going on a trip to Europe with you, and you made it extra sweet for me. You paid for hotel, my meals, and even an awesome camera I just had to have before heading there. I still have pictures, dear Debt.

I remember you buying me a new car. You felt I deserve something better to drive because my old car was not as shiny as new ones, and didn’t have fancy options. At first, I resisted but you’ve talked me into it by saying how hard I work and I deserve to enjoy finer things in life. So, you bought me a new set of wheels, and after parking my old car in a garage (hurt feelings!) I started driving in style, just like all of my friends.

All good things end.

What started as a fun flirt on a side soon turned into a nightmare of a relationship. Before I knew it, you basically moved in with me. Good memories of trips together were long gone, but you were right next to me every day. Every night you kept me awake as I crunched the numbers in my head trying to figure out how I can make it work. You forced me to work on weekends to bring more money home to pay for you. All of my money was going towards you, but you kept demanding more and more. Your collecting friends started calling me at night asking about money. You made my food taste bland and every day seemed joyless because you sucked the life out of me. You have no idea how bad you make people feel. Heck, some people commit suicide because you got a hold of them.

This is when I said I’ve had enough.

Breaking up with you was hard but truly worth it, dear Debt. I’ve kicked you out of my house, sold your presents, and got rid of your shiny new car. Took me months to clean up your mess! But my old car was happy to see me, and in all honesty I don’t miss any of your presents. I sleep well at night, and my new friends Budget, Savings, and Investing take good care of me. We spend a lot of time together, and I haven’t thought of you for a while now. Because of them, things are looking up for me! All because I’ve made a decision to end it with you.

I’m glad you’re gone, dear Debt. Don’t ever come back. Forget my number, and forget my house. You’re dead to me.

XOXO,

Financial Underdog

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blogside hustle

Do bloggers stimulate the economy?

by Melanie
written by Melanie

Lately, I’ve been dipping my toes into the waters of freelancing. It’s been delightful, and I’m learning how to swim. As I add freelance writing, editing, and more to my list of side hustles, I am amazed at how much work there is in the blogging community. Making money as a blogger isn’t a quick-fix idea, or something that happens overnight. But it can be a viable side hustle, with some persistence and determination.

Many successful bloggers outsource work and hire freelance writers, virtual assistants, editors, commenters, and the like. In turn, bloggers like me are getting to earn more money, pay down debt, and save more.

The blogging community is an entire sub-economy that is driving much of the internet, and yet, it’s not really talked about. People on the outside don’t believe it’s real, or that it’s legit work. Blogging and making money on the internet is still a very new thing for most people, and it’s as nontraditional as it comes. It’s as if you are telling your parents that you are going to art school, and they think that it’s just a nice hobby, but not a real profession.

But bloggers are making real money, sometimes really good money on the internet. I think about Sam making 35k in his first year of blogging, and Stephanie who is making 1k per month freelance writing, and the many other bloggers I admire who are freelance hustlers and have taken the leap into this odd and amazing world.

Before I started blogging, I thought a blog was like an online diary. In fact, I have several old blogs on the internet with old poetry, ramblings, and musings. I never thought a blog was something that could or should make money. But as someone who has become used to nonprofit salaries, I find myself excited by the prospect of making more money and learning new skills in the digital age. We are living in the era of a new economy, one that isn’t as easily quantifiable as the one we constantly hear about in the news. Although the economy is slowly recovering, many people are having difficulty finding jobs, or finding meaningful careers.

I recently read Amanda Abella’s piece on Why You Can’t Get Rich Working for Someone Else. She makes some really interesting points that I am starting to realize for myself.

I started to think about bloggers and the economy — are they being counted in the jobs report? How much are bloggers bringing in? It seems like they are making a decent amount and fueling the economy, while creating a micro economy of their own by outsourcing work.  Bloggers are seen as influential — as people who can reach many because of their audience.

Bloggers are getting paid in a variety of ways through products and services: affiliate marketing, freelance writing, seo services, tech help, editing, virtual assisting, commenting, social media management, and brand partnerships. The ways to make money on the internet are both exciting and intimidating!

I remember when I first started blogging – I didn’t know what SEO was. I felt challenged by my lack of technical knowledge. I had to learn so much in a short period of time. But like anything, it just takes practice and a willingness to learn. Learning new skills in the digital age can really launch a great side hustle, or even a new career.

In short, I think bloggers are adding to the vitality and strength of the economy in new and interesting ways.

What do you think? Are bloggers stimulating the economy?

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Uncategorized

4 Practical Tips for New College Grads

by Melanie
written by Melanie

Graduating college can be one of the most exciting times of your life. After four plus years of studying, working hard, taking exam after exam, graduation can seem like a nice culmination point for you to start the next chapter of your life.

I remember after I graduated college, I was so excited. I vowed to never take another test, or take a boring general education class. I also vowed to take everything I learned in college and apply it to my life and career.

Shortly after the dopamine started to wear off, I realized I had to adjust to a new routine and create a new life. I was no longer in the safe bubble of school, but I had entered the scary “real world.” I was no longer able to survive on my student loans, which I’d have to pay back soon enough.

Read more at VOSA.com

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