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dear debt letter

Dear Debt, Thank You

by Melanie
written by Melanie

Hey debt fighters! I’m so excited to share this dear debt letter as it offers a fresh perspective on debt. AND you must congratulate Kate as she has recently paid off the last of her debt!

Kate from Goodnight Debt graduated from law school with $45,330 in student loan debt. She made her final student loan payment on March 27, 2015, paying them off in only 15 short months. 

—-

Dear Debt,

Can you believe we’ve known each other for nearly 5 years? I guess stress and life events make time fly by.  It feels like we met just yesterday.

It has been a good ride, but we can’t see each other anymore. I don’t mean to be rude, but it’s time we went our separate ways. Did you really not see this coming?

I can’t say that I’m going to miss you, but I want you to know that I appreciate everything you have done for me. You’ve done a lot.  Sometimes I feel like you don’t get the recognition you deserve.

So, I just want to say…. Thank you.

Thank you for helping me gain my independence to stand on my own two feet.

Thank you for letting me pursue opportunities that were low or no pay but were pivotal in finding my right path.

Thank you for getting me through law school. Without you, I would have needed to divert my attention from what was important to make ends meet.

Thank you for being there after I graduated. Things got really bad for a while and without you, who knows what kind of mess I would have been.  (Likely: An emotionally unstable, unemployable mess.)

Thank you for pushing me into new opportunities when the time was right.

Thank you for helping me grow closer to my Husband.  (Do you remember him? You two hung out a lot like 10 years ago.)

Hopefully, we can see each other again in a few years. I’ll need your help with a few things…. How are you at home improvement projects?

Thank you again,
Kate

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Dear Debt, You Bore Me

by Melanie
written by Melanie

I can’t believe the end of March is approaching and in just a few days I fly to Vegas to see Tonya for 48 hours and then in a month I am going to Spain and Portugal. Say what? All because of travel hacking, too.

I have to say that things have been increasingly busy here and ever-changing. I’ve gotten some new opportunities that I’m really excited about and I’ve moved on from some others. It’s been a time for change and growth for me — getting uncomfortable and trying new things, letting go of things that were safe and comfortable.

In addition to giving you a brief update about my life, I want to share with you the state of my debts. I regret not posting updates sooner, and quite frankly it’s because I haven’t loved my progress.

Life has gotten in the way in some cases, but it just feels like an excuse. Just because I don’t love my progress doesn’t mean I shouldn’t share it with you, right? I know that paying off debt is a journey. There are stops and starts, setbacks and times of great momentum. I guess lately I’ve just been so incredibly bored by the idea of debt. Like, oh, I’m going to bed next to you AGAIN?

Dear debt, put some spice back into my life. I think my upcoming adventures will do just that and I’m really proud of myself that I have money saved and am essentially flying for free.

Anywho, last time I updated you, my debt was at $33,740.36.

It is currently at $32,343.80.

Although nearly $1,400 is nothing to sneeze at, that took me 2 months to do. I’m still getting used to this freelance payment schedule where things seem to come at the end of the month, or sporadically throughout the month. I will say it has made my payments more difficult, but I’m committed nonetheless.

Luckily, my income is growing and as it grows, so will my debt repayments. Because I want these things gone, yesterday. Even though I say I’m bored with my debt, I’m still passionate about being debt free. I don’t want you to think I’m giving up, despite my recent musings about how tough life is.

Things are better and it just reminds me how quickly things can change. What a difference a day makes (one of my favorite songs by jazz goddess Dinah Washington). I’ve also come to realize that hard work largely is invisible while you are in the thick of it. Then ONE thing can happen that affirms that you are doing the right thing and headed in the right direction.

So, the point is, have faith. Keep going. Work hard and continue trying. You may not see the results, today, tomorrow, or even in a year. But you are building something. And it will rise, and weather the storm.

What’s new with you?

p.s. need some more debt motivation? Check out Fruclassity from my dear friends Laurie and Ruth.

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life

Is This What Empowerment Looks Like?

by Melanie
written by Melanie

This past weekend I worked a women’s expo as one of my main side hustles: a brand ambassador. I was looking forward to the gig as it wasn’t a typical event and it would be around a bunch of awesome women.

When I was in line to get my vendor pass, I saw the women lined up outside waiting to get into the expo. There was already a huge line waiting to come inside.

The slogan for the expo was “love yourself first.”

womensexpo

“I can dig that,” I thought. We do need to love ourselves first.

So I get set up at my booth and throughout the day, I made the rounds to look at the other booths. After all, I wanted to see what other cool things were going on at the women’s expo.

My research proved to be so disappointing. Over 90% of the booths were somehow about weight loss, skin tightening, waxing, makeup, and sexy outfits.

I don’t know what I was expecting at a women’s expo, but it sure wasn’t this. “Love yourself first?,” I thought. Yeah, right.

Love yourself after you lose 10 pounds, wax your vag, straighten your hair, and tighten your wrinkles. It felt like an expo that was supposed to be about loving yourself first, was really about buying products to make you look better and feel better.

Ummmm?

Ummmm?

This is the kind of marketing that we’ve been dealing with for years in traditional media and I guess I was just sort of hoping for something different. Something that didn’t put all of our power into our looks or our youth, but more into our contributions to the community and our families.

All of this got me thinking: is this really what women empowerment looks like?

I think you know my answer.

So, if that’s not it,  what does women empowerment look like? I started to think about what my ideal version of the expo would be. I would want to see classes on negotiating, how to start a business, relaxation techniques, and more community based products and services. I’d want to have more classes, products, and workshops that enhance our social network and respect our buying power, without just focusing on superficial stuff.

And I do have to say, I like some of the superficial stuff too. There is a time and place for that. But to have a whole expo that was mostly focused on beauty just felt like a disservice to the power and potential of women. I know a bunch of money was thrown into this thing and that many people probably made a bunch of money as well.

As more and more women become breadwinners, I think it’s so important that we find avenues to support each other and ourselves. But we have to get rid of the old, tired model and stop marketing to our insecurities.

I know this is a big question, but: what does women empowerment look like to you? (in an ideal world, it’s okay to be ridiculous)

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dear debt letter

Debt, It’s Been Real

by Melanie
written by Melanie

Hello debt fighting rockstars! I have a great dear debt letter for you from Ryan Bonaparte, who is part of a cool site, TheNewTutor.com. Check out their resources and his awesome breakup letter to debt. If you want to write a breakup letter to debt, contact me.

Dear Debt,

We’ve known each other for 10 years, and we’ve been pretty serious for the last five. It’s been fun — we’ve gone to school together, rented our first apartment (which was pretty nice by the way), and picked up a few gadgets and a car or two along the way.

Unfortunately, I don’t think we can last. I’ve given up more time than I can count trying to work with you, to pay you off, and yet you’re still here. We’ve tried to work through our problems, and when I lost my job, you took a little break. But you were right back at it when I got my new job. And don’t get me started on that trip to the hospital a few years back.

Really it’s kind of a pain to keep you around. You take and take, but it’s been a long time since you’ve given me anything in return.

One day, I know you’ll be gone, and I’ll be able to live my life and enjoy the freedoms I want to experience. One day, I’ll remember you as a distant memory with the ups and downs we had. Mostly downs, really.

We still have a ways to go, more years than I’d like to admit. But piece by piece, I’m untangling the way you’ve woven yourself into my mind, heart, and soul. We’ve already started to distance ourselves from each other, especially this year when I saved money and worked hard as a tutor to let go of what little control you still had over my credit cards. That was an amazing feeling, and I can’t wait to push you out of other parts of my life. Soon, you won’t be riding with me every time I go for a drive.

I know we’ll probably run into each other every now and then. You might be there for my wedding, when I buy my first home, and maybe my next car or two. But really it’s for the best that we don’t make it a habit. You go your way, and I’ll go mine.

Can’t promise you I won’t warn all my friends to stay away from you, though. Just saying.

It’s been real.

Ryan

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life

There is Never a Good Time

by Melanie
written by Melanie

Time is just flying by. I can feel the year whizzing by me as I blink and realize it’s Mid-March. This year has been a blur, filled with hard work and hustling, good times and bad. Things are starting to settle, ever so slowly, as I attempt to search for that elusive balance.

One thing that is perpetually on my mind these days is the move. Though we have six months to sort out all the details, it feels weird to have a date set. Everything could change for all I know, but as of now, we will be leaving Portland.

It feels so weird, because I’ve been ready to go. But now that little voice in my head keeps popping up.

Is it the right time?

Do you really want to move somewhere more expensive?

Are you ready for even more change?

But then some semblance of rationality creeps in.

There is never a good time.

I have to remember this as I try to convince myself otherwise. Like so many big decisions in life, there is never a good time.

There is never a good time to have kids, or to quit your job, or to move across country. If we all waited for the right time, then I’m afraid that day would never come.  If I waited for the right time, I would have never left LA or gone to New York, or gotten my master’s degree. I would have never quit my job.

Sure, there are better times to do things than others — like when you have a fully funded emergency fund or are debt free. But I firmly believe I can’t hold back all of my life decisions for a few more years until I’m debt free.

I’ll make myself miserable and Lord knows I haven’t been the happiest of campers lately.

All of this got me thinking. What else in my life am I waiting for that right time? Like that e-book I said I would write, or that novel filled with stories this blog will never see. But I haven’t written a word on those things, because I’ve been paid to write other words for other people. And for that, I’m so grateful, but I have to say no to this good time business, because the time is now.

I want to make sure I am living life to the fullest and reaching my full potential. Isn’t that what being your own boss is all about? I don’t want to feel like I’m still just working for others, using it as a means to an end, towards debt freedom. Because at that rate, I’m bound to have (yet) another existential crisis once I’m debt free.

There has to be more and it has to be now. Time only goes forward, not backward, so I want to grasp these moments and make them mine. Be content with my decisions and embrace all life’s messiness and not be paralyzed with fear about what will happen.

Because no one knows. Our life is a book that has yet to be written. I want to make sure I keep turning the page and not let my book collect dust.

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Uncategorized

Such is Life

by Melanie
written by Melanie

Life is expensive.
Life is hard.
Life is a work in progress.

This is what feels true for me right now. It feels like this past week, with the wild full moon, that everything has been out of whack (anyone else?).

It seems every day there was something new. An unexpected expense, a miscommunication, a misunderstanding, or something else to add to the pile.

All in all, each frustrating moment was small in and of itself — but compounded over time, these things have added up and have chipped away at my strength.

I don’t want to write a total Debbie Downer post, but you know I’m never one to put on a front. I’m a pretty emotional creature that wears my heart on my sleeve (for better or worse). And this week has been tough. I’m actively taking steps to take care of myself and put myself first. But in the process of doing so, I have to wrap up several things and hustle to make things happen. Change doesn’t happen overnight.

This was the first week since being self-employed that I felt like giving up. It was the first time that I thought maybe going back to a real job would be easier and I could just work 9-5 and call it a day. I also thought about giving up on debt. Looking at my repayments, I see that so much is going to interest, it feels so pointless.

But I have to remember the wisdom of my friends: hard work sucks, but quitting sucks harder. I’m just going through some growing pains. It’s like I’ve grown 6 inches in 6 months and I’m in that awkward, clumsy phase.

Life is also changing so quickly. We were notified that our month-to-month lease would go up $120 per month if we didn’t sign another 6 or 12 month lease. So we signed a 6 month lease, paying $60 more each month, and then we’ll probably move. Back to LA or NYC? Somewhere else? We’re not sure yet, but we’re 98% certain we’re not staying here. I’m ready for a change. But I’m beyond stressed about the financial part of it, as we need to boost our income significantly to make this happen. Luckily, I can move anywhere and make money, but my income still needs to grow.

So, that’s what’s going on with me. I apologize for the silence here and will be posting some more debt updates soon. Even though I’ve felt like giving up, this community keeps me going. I haven’t been as active as I want to be, but I’m so inspired by bloggers and readers alike. Keep rockin’ the journey. I guess this is part of the adventure.

For some further reading/listening:

The Privilege Of Pursuing Financial Independence by the FrugalWoods (a super important part that is often glaringly missing from conversations).

Why Are We Deferring Our College Loans? by the brilliant satirists at the Onion.

If you saw me at FinCon, you know I LOVE dancing. So this story about a group of women that are throwing a party for a man who was body shamed while dancing, completely warmed my heart and made my day.

I was featured in this article about weird jobs that can help you pay off debt, talking about my experience walking invisible dogs as a brand ambassador.

I sat down with my friend Eric and talked about quitting my job to pursue my dream. Listen to the podcast.

I also set down with my gal pals in the PF world for a hilarious happy hour. Listen to me talk about my cheap ex-boyfriend.

I hope you have a great weekend!

 

 

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careerlife

Can I Tell You a Secret?

by Melanie
written by Melanie

I started out this year with so much fervor for the year ahead. On January 1, I wrote out the three words I wanted to guide my year: bold, balance, and adventure.

I’ve seen firsthand how being bold and making bold moves can transform your life and career. In just a year’s time, I’ve been able to write for $25 a post and turn it into $250 for a post (not all clients, obviously).

The adventure part is also a big one. I’m planning to go to Las Vegas next month for 48 hours to hang out with Tonya at Budget and the Beach. Why? Because I can. She scored a free hotel, and the flight was a small portion of the reward points I had racked up. Then, a month after that, I’ll be in Spain and Portugal. I know, I hate me too.

But do you know what I’m absolutely fucking failing at? Balance. I’m doing pretty good with the other two, but balance just seems further and further away. I keep saying, “you need to make time for yourself!” and then when it comes down to it, I’m the last on my list. My business, blog, my boyfriend, my friends, the neighbor, the stranger at the coffee shop — all of them seemingly come before me and can take up my time and energy.

And I’m exhausted. Already. On one hand, I’m very excited that the BOLD part has resulted in some new, sweet gigs. On the other hand, I’m working harder than ever, because I’ve not made balance a priority. I’ve said yes to too many things and I think it’s time to make some hard cuts.

I’m scared of letting people down. I’m scared of pushing myself to a point where I cannot return. I know what I’m doing is not sustainable and the only way to fix it is by making changes. And that has to come from me. I can’t talk to my “boss” and tell them my problems. I need to sit down with myself and really focus on what I want, what I need, out of life and business.

Have you ever felt like you are just getting by? And I don’t mean financially. But you are scraping by, moment to moment, just hoping that nervous breakdown doesn’t pop up, or that some inconvenient event suddenly ruins your already-too-tight schedule.

I quit my job so I could have balance and I’ve worked so hard, yet I’ve found anything but. This is my dirty little secret. That I feel like a failure because I work so hard and feel like I have nothing to show for it. My relationship isn’t where I want it to be, my personal goals are out the window, and my debt repayment feels stalled.

I know it probably sounds like I’m just being a whiner and being too hard on myself. I probably am, but it’s something I’m working on. It’s hard not to invest your whole self into your business when you work for yourself. How can I not take everything personally? How can I not give 110% to everything, when this is my livelihood? When my name is on the line.

I don’t know where the balance is, but I know I need to find it. It’s so freaking hard for me, but I cannot put money first. Although the personal finance blogger in me says that is the right answer, the human in me is telling me to chill the eff out.

So, there. I’ve told you my big failure.

What are you failing at today? (I’m serious)

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dear debt letter

I Can’t Stand You Anymore

by Melanie
written by Melanie

Happy Friday! I hope you have had an awesome week. I’d like to share a little debt-busting love with you today from Kara, who blogs at karaelizabethperez.wordpress.com.

She is dedicated to paying off her student loans this year! Woo hoo! Cheer her on and enjoy her letter.

Dear Debt,

We need to talk. Our relationship…it’s coming to an end. Can’t you feel it? It was never good and now it’s just bad. Frankly, I can’t stand you anymore. I dream of getting rid of you. If I never saw you again, it would be too soon.

Does that sound harsh? I hope so. What you’ve done to my life has been pretty harsh- you limit me baby. At every turn. I can’t travel with friends because of you, or enjoy a romantic night on the town because of you. I’m stuck, trapped by you. I want to do more! I want to be free!

And your friends have got to go. Guilt and Resentment are bad house guests and you have them over all the time. It’s just been too much for too long. So this is it between us. Have a good life, because that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

So long sucker,

Kara

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student loans

Student Loans’ Best Kept Secret

by Melanie
written by Melanie

Student Loans Best Kept Secrets

A few weeks ago I co-hosted the #SavewithSoFi blogger event in NYC and got to hang around some of my favorite people in the world. It was so awesome meeting great people in the community and being able to share information about SoFi. I learned so much!

Just so you know, SoFi is short for Social Finance.  The company’s roots are in student loan refinancing, but they now offer mortgages and personal loans too. I fell in love with SoFi because they are like a hidden gem for student loan borrowers. I feel ignorant, but I didn’t really know that refinancing was even an option for student loans until recently.

I was lucky enough to be able to speak with Dan Macklin, the co-founder of SoFi, so that I could give you the scoop about who they are and what they do. But first, a little more about Dan, who also has an incredible story about being an entrepreneur.

Dan is a cheery Brit who left England to study entrepreneurship at Stanford. At the time, he had a secure job as a banker, but while at Stanford he met some great people in the community, all dealing with similar issues around student loans. He, along with a few other co-founders, came up with the idea for SoFi. But to pursue his dream he had to let go of his secure job — not an easy feat when you have a wife, 2 kids, and are just graduating school!

“It wasn’t an easy decision, because I got sponsored to go to business school. We had no funding at the time, and there was no certainty. It was hard to resign and not know where the next paycheck came from. But now we’ve helped thousands of people in the last 4 years.”

I think that’s such an inspiring story, of taking a risk and having it pay off — and being able to help others.

Check out my interview below with Dan:

What’s the story behind SoFi?

We started SoFi 4 years ago now and the reason we started it, is that we saw financial services as being an old crusty industry that was irrelevant in many ways for people like us, aged 25 – 45. We felt there were very few options for the younger generation in regards to student loans. All of these other industries were changing. The relationships between buyers and sellers were changing. We’re thinking that we could connect borrowers and investors, so our first product was for student loans.

We had many friends graduating from Stanford, and they would graduate and pay the same rate they had been given when they started school. We sought to change that. We’ve now helped to refinance nearly $2 billion in loans — these are people who have graduated and we’ve given them a new rate that reflects who they are now.

We were the first company to refinance both federal and private loans. Most people are coming to us with $70-80,000 in debt and saving up to 5%, which is roughly $11,000 — so very meaningful amounts of money and we are very proud of that.

We are building on that platform and adding mortgage and personal loans. We asked our customers, “what can we help you with?” And many people needed help with mortgage and personal loans. We have a lot of people who have big student loan debt, but they have other debt, like credit card debt with higher rates as well — so they can take a personal loan at a much lower rate.

Student loan debt can be so overwhelming. How do you think SoFi empowers borrowers?

The first thing we do is to encourage people to think about their student loans. Most people don’t really think about it past their automatic payments. A lot of people ‘set it and forget it.’ We want them to understand there are options out there — know your loans might not be the best for you and for those that think they could benefit, they should apply and see if they can get a better rate.

We also leverage the SoFi community to help — we have unemployment protection that can help borrowers for three months and help them find a job. We’ve helped about 60 people to find a job. It’s a bit of a safety net as obviously we don’t want people to refinance thinking they will lose their job.

What makes SoFi different from other refinancing companies?

We are looking at who you are today and looking at what rate you deserve today. You are consolidating into one loan, but also getting a better interest rate. Our goal is to build community around each other to help people succeed in their next financial milestones – it’s so much more than just a loan. Unemployment protection is one aspect of that. If you lose your job, we’ll reach out to our network. It’s tangible advice and assistance. We also have our entrepreneur program which allows people who start businesses, to defer their loans for a period of time. For that individual it frees up some time and cash to focus on their new business.

We also are dedicated to service. We have people who you can talk to 7 days a week. Many people like to speak one-on-one and we can provide that level of service.

SoFi_Horiz

During the SoFi happy hour event, we asked people “what’s your number 1 student loan debt tip?” What’s yours?

The #1 tip is be aware of what rates you are paying for today. There are so many people that have student loan debt and don’t know what their rate is, whether it’s fixed or variable. Also explore other options that may allow you to pay less. There are no guarantees, but you should look into your options.

Some more fun facts about SoFi…

As the largest provider of student loan refinancing, SoFi offers student loan refinancing to qualified graduates (both grad and undergrad) for both federal and private loans from more than thousands  of schools nationwide. Borrowers can combine their Federal and private loans into a single monthly payment and customize payment terms to fit their lifestyle.

Members can expect to save on average $11,783 over the lifetime of their loans.

SoFi mortgages are currently available in twelve states plus Washington DC, and personal loans are available in 45 states plus Washington DC.

SoFi currently has approximately 20,000 members.

If you want to see if you can get a better interest rate for your student loans, check out SoFi for your student loan refinancing.

I am an affiliate of SoFi as I totally believe in what they offer. They are a total game changer! All opinions, as always, are all my own.

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dear debt letter

No Debt in My Dream

by Melanie
written by Melanie

Happy Hump day, folks! Get over that hump and get inspired on your debt journey. We have another fabulous dear debt letter today from MJ, who blogs at http://www.dreambeyonddebt.com.

Enjoy her letter, and follow her @dreambeyonddebt!

Dear Debt,

I’ve known you my entire adult life. For 20 years, I’ve carried you. You made it possible for me to read great books and discuss interesting ideas with intelligent peers. But, that time passed many years ago. I’ve suffered under your crushing weight for way too long. I’m ready to know a life of freedom. I’m moving on. I’m letting you go.

When I was 27-years-old, I took my mother’s advice and consolidated my undergraduate loans with the unnecessary loans I took out while I was a graduate student. I received an assistantship that covered tuition and paid a small stipend, but I couldn’t imagine how I’d live on so little money. Immediately after graduation, I started to make graduated monthly payments toward the $48,000 balance. Through the years, I’ve put the loans in deferment a couple of times, but I’ve made steady payments for at least ten years. I’m almost 40-years-old now, and I owe $47,554 in student loans.

I try not to rage when I think about how much money I’ve paid to the loan, and how little the balance has changed. It doesn’t seem fair. It doesn’t seem right. I feel little comfort from the low interest rate of 3.125% because it is calculated daily, and it adds up quickly. I don’t work in a particularly stable industry. I’m an adjunct instructor, and my work is often contingent upon enrollment or university need. Although I’ve been fortunate to find work at higher paying institutions, there is still no guarantee from semester to semester.

I made that choice, though. I also work as a freelance writer, and I consider my adjunct work as “freelance” as well. To stay comfortable and secure in my career decision, I am finally making the decision to break up with my student loan debt. It’s been a dysfunctional relationship – maybe from the beginning, when I took out loans so I’d have cash for better groceries, road trips, and nights out on the town.

Those are all good things, but not good enough to be experienced on borrowed money.

I’ve felt very low. I’ve felt sunk in the hole I created. I’ve tried to embrace the loans and the education and opportunity they provided me. It’s true that I’d pay twice the amount for the friends I made while in the programs that prompted the debt. But, I can’t help but look at the balance and berate myself for not being smarter about my money at the time. Even in my decision to pay off the debt, I feel like I’m making up time. Like I’m behind the rest of the world. Like I’m in last place.

I have little in the way of retirement savings. I went back and forth between wanting to pay off the debt and wanting to fund a robust retirement account. But, when I heard myself say to my mother, “I might die with student loan debt,” then I knew which path to choose. The debt had to go. It was a dark cloud. The only empowering choice was to eradicate it as quickly as possible.

I know there are others in deeper student loan debt. I feel for them. It doesn’t really make me feel better, though – except to know that I’m not alone in this mess.Which is why I’m writing this letter to you – as an attempt to feel less alone while I extract you from my life. I’ve found extra work. I’ve built up an emergency fund. I’m keeping my expenses low. The time has come. The decision has been made. I’m over you, Debt. We won’t be traveling together, or building a home base. My dreams don’t include you. We’re through.

Sincerely,

MJ

Dream Beyond Debt

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