Melanie

Hey everyone! We have another great dear debt letter today from Laura. She just moved to Austin, TX from Chicago with her husband. She works in Human Resources and her passion is finding fun and creative ways to make and save money.  Some of her faves include mystery shopping, teaching writing and being a contestant on Wheel of Fortune! Also a goal of hers for 2016 is to share her passion by running couponing workshops for the local community and writing more articles for money saving sites with the hope of starting her own blog in the near future! (YES!)

Dear Debt,

Our relationship used to be between just the two of us but then an innocent third party was brought into our doomed relationship, my husband.  My amazing, non-judgmental, debt-free husband has been dragged into this mess we have created and it pisses me off.  We have been dealing with you for the past few years but January 1, 2016 was my breaking point and I vow to be rid of you going into 2017.

How you have impacted our lives:

2009 –  I met my future husband and while getting to know each other we learned about each other’s lives, hopes and dreams for the future.  While he talked about saving for a down payment on his first house at 25, I talked about paying off my credit card debt.   That was my first glimpse into how much you were truly holding me back.

2012 – My fiancé and I are trying to plan our wedding (without taking on any debt of course!) but you loomed in the background directly impacting our plans.  You made me so embarrassed that I just wanted to run off and elope so I would not have to face the fact that you were always in the back of my mind during every wedding decision.

2013 – My husband and I are married!  And you and I take our first step towards our divorce – all credit card debt is paid off and we paid for our honeymoon without going into any debt.  That feeling was amazing – to be able to truly enjoy myself without you nagging me.  But alas there is still a ways to go with the final break in our relationship – student loans.

2015 – My husband and I move across country and you come along for the ride.  While I am steadily, albeit slowly, getting out of our relationship, you did something that is going to speed along our relationships ending, you took something, not from me, but from my husband that pissed me off.  My husband works his tail off at his job – putting in long hours, working on most of his days off and being constantly available over holidays – for which he received a much deserved bonus.  Although his dream was to invest the money and for us to take a fun getaway, we instead heard your greedy voice over our dreams and gave you all of it….ALL $10,000 OF IT AND YOU STILL WEREN’T SATISFIED!!!  We made that payment on January 1st and all I could think about was how that money could have been better used during this year and vowed not to feel this way in 2017.

You have made it my mission to end our relationship for good in 2016.  How am I going to do this?  Put every extra penny towards you through every conceivable way – writing articles, completing surveys, couponing – I’m going to get imaginative because next year I don’t want to be ringing in 2017 with you.  Instead I will be sipping champagne with my husband dreaming of all the exciting things to do with a well-deserved bonus.

Peace out debt!

Hey debt fighters! Today we have an awesome dear debt letter from Jayme. Jayme is a freelance writer and blogger at sonotniche.com who has paid off more than half of $65,000 on a low income. She blogs tips on surviving as a family of five living below poverty level while still kicking debt’s butt. 

Dear Debt,

I will no longer be the “other person” in my husband’s life. I will no longer take a second place to you.

I know that you two had a relationship long before he and I met. Even though I am the better person, you still manage to occasionally seduce him with your ‘feel-good’ promises.

As my Gramma would say, “You ain’t nothing but trouble.”

For half a dozen years now, we’ve lived with you between us. Lurking like a dark temptress in the night, you take many forms.

You are past medical bills. You are our mortgage. You are the disembodied spirit of past marriages. You are things we had to buy out of necessity, and interest that accumulated over years of only being able to make minimum payments on past mistakes.

But…

Slowly, we have managed to remove parts of you from our lives. You are losing your appeal. My husband is learning to desire freedom more than things. To realize that he doesn’t have to belong to you anymore. There is a way for you to break up forever.

I’m more attractive than you, Debt. I am more seductive. I am tempting my husband with promises of things you never allowed him to have, like fat savings accounts and delectable little luxuries bought with cash.

This is the big year. This year, you need to pack up your bag of tricks and get ready to buy yourself a bus ticket out of my town. In a few months, we will only deal with you through the bank, as we begin padding out our mortgage payments. That will be the only lingering trace of YOU in our lives. In less than three years, you will be nothing but a bad memory.

Will he miss you? Don’t fool yourself. You aren’t that great. In fact, you suck.

You’ve eaten our food, taken our holidays, and stolen away time we should have been enjoying our family. You’ve made us hang our heads in shame and try to hide the times we couldn’t afford even basic necessities.

You’ve spit on us one too many times. Now its my turn.

As we speak, a check is going in the mail. One small piece of you is about to die.

I hope it hurts you like you have hurt us, you abusive piece of baggage.

Cheers,

Jayme

Hey debt fighters! We have a killer dear debt letter today from Sonia. Sonia is a freelance writer who writes for small to mid-sized businesses. She has also recently started to write fiction again, this time under a pen name, which she discovered gives her a sense of freedom that has been missing from her life for far too long. She has over $81,000 in debt that she is committed to paying off. You can follow her website/blog at soniaquinones.com.

Dear Debt,

Every couple of years I decide that I’m going to get rid of you once and for all. I force myself to sit down and tally up how bad you’ve gotten. And as I do, I remember (as if I could ever forget) every stupid decision that I made that got me into this mess in the first place.

I think about how money, the lack of it, where it was going and where it was not, caused so many fights when I was growing up. How it destroyed any love and faith my parents once had in each other until all that was left was burning resentment. So that all these years later (53 years of married life and counting) my parents are miserable, unhappy, bitter people who I desperately love but cannot help.

If I could kick the sh*t out of you I would.

I’m sick of crying over you.
I’m sick of losing sleep and getting ill, literally, over you.
I’m sick of lying to my family and friends about how little money I have and how much I owe.
I’m tired of trying to figure out what bills I can pay this month and which ones I can’t.
I’m sick of worrying when that check will clear, or when that deposit will be released from a bank hold.
I’m sick of reliving the memory of how I created this mess.

I owe $81,138, most of that in student loan debt for an undergraduate degree that it took me until I was 40 to get and a graduate degree program that I never actually finished.

Student loans that some of my then-employers reimbursed me for. But did I use the check they gave me to repay the loan I took out that term? Oh no. I went ahead and spent it on stuff I don’t even remember. Student loans that I’ve requested forbearances and deferrals on more times than I can count while I got my feet back under me whenever I’ve been unemployed or underemployed.

Student loans that overwhelm me when I compare then to what I actually take home in income. Last year I made exactly $26,275–total–on my freelancer’s income. And that was before taxes. But then making good money doesn’t make a difference.

Not when it’s your mindset that’s screwed up. Because back when I was making almost $90K a year as a full-time employee did I attempt to pay down my student loan debt in a serious way? Nope. Instead I paid the bare minimum. Why? Because even then I still felt “poor.” I couldn’t see the opportunity, the abundance that had entered my life.

I hate seeing the world through the poverty mentality/filter that I absorbed from my family. I’m angry at the idea that my dreams have become so small. That the idea of ever owning my own house instead of renting feels ridiculous, something other people get to do but not me.

I’m angry that the idea of replacing my battered 18-year-old car is out of my reach. I’m pissed that I can’t imagine ever getting to travel to Europe, or go to events where I can meet the people I admire online in person.

I’m pissed that I can’t take better care of my parents. That I can’t move them out of the dump they have the nerve to call a senior residence and into a better apartment, or even an actual house, all because I have this debt that I foolishly allowed into my life. A debt that I signed up for without realizing how deeply it would stain my outlook on life.

I’ve had enough of feeling like a damn incompetent idiot. I’m sick of feeling like I can’t breathe. Like I have no right to hold my head up like a responsible adult. Like I’m wearing a huge sign labeled “LOSER.”

Enough. Enough. Enough.

I’m going to get rid of you no matter what the hell I have to do. I’m going to take my life, my business, my soul seriously and get you out of my life once and for all. I’m reclaiming my life and you won’t ever get a chance to get your grubby hands on me again.

Sincerely,

Sonia

Hello debt fighters! We have a raw, story-filled dear debt letter for you today from David. David is from Quito, Ecuador and currently lives in Brazil. He’s been working as a freelancer, teaching people how to make ice cream (yum!). He is also a talented Spanish/Portuguese translator and teacher. If you are looking for a translator/teacher, let me know and I’ll get you in touch! 

Dear Debt,

I don’t feel comfortable calling you dear, you know? Because of you, I have felt unhappy for the last four years of my life. Or maybe more. It all started as an open door, as a possibility to become someone thanks to you. But now I realize what an idiot I was for letting you enter my life. Because you are destroying it, you are destroying me. I’m miserable because of you, and this has to end.

How big are you? Well, let’s look into the whole thing.

I’m from Ecuador, South America. In Ecuador, 80% of the population is and has always been poor. Luckily, I’m not part of that 80%, I was lucky enough to be born in a middle class family which has always struggled but somehow managed to do just fine in life. My dad is a professional, he worked for over 30 years in the same company and was always able to provide for his family.

In 1999 the whole country went to bankruptcy because of the errors and corruption of the government, and after the disaster, they decided to change our national currency from the “sucre” to the american dollar. This was done in order to stabilize the economy, which luckily was somehow achieved. I was starting college when all this happened, so I went through a very hard time because everything became really expensive back then when the conversion from sucres to dollars was made, but I managed to graduate.

It wasn’t easy to get a job, a third-world country isn’t exactly the best place to grow as a professional. But I did, in 2005 I got a job that was considered to be good (if a $500-a-month salary is good). And immediately all major banks and credit card companies started offering me their products. Of course I needed to “get on track”, so I accepted some credit cards and started using them, like an idiot.

So, every month I would use all of my salary to pay for my credit card bills. And of course, I would use the damn credit cards for practically everything because I would always find myself without money. So it became a vicious circle.

My salary somehow grew a little, first to $600 and then to $800 (all this in about three years).  I don’t remember having had a good time when I wasn’t in debt, when all of my money didn’t go to the credit cards. And to my surprise I didn’t have anything really, I didn’t have a car, I didn’t have a house of my own, nothing. And I swear I didn’t just spend all of this money.

The interest I was paying was what was eating me alive. So one day I said “STOP IT” and I started living with about $100 a month, and using the rest to pay as much as I could off my credit card bills so that I would finish them and be free.

The day came when I finished paying and I couldn’t be happier, it was finally over! Two more years had gone by and I was earning $1200 a month, which was much better (I know it’s ridiculous for americans to think about such a poor salary, but that’s reality in South America).

But then the disaster started all over again and I haven’t been able to get out of it ever since. In 2011 I met someone, who is now my life partner. I went on vacation to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, thinking “ok so you have paid all of your debt, go there, have fun, and then you come back and pay it all and that’s it” but life had other plans. I met my now partner on vacation and things went so well that we really fell in love for each other and we decided we didn’t want to be apart.

So after a lot of thinking and talking about the possibilities, we decided that because I had a steady job and a better social and economic position in Ecuador than he did in Brazil, it would be better for him to move to Ecuador and not for me to move to Brazil.

Because of immigration matters, none of us could work legally in the other’s country, so we were going to have to figure out what to do. Since he didn’t speak Spanish, only Portuguese, he was definitely going to need to learn Spanish in order to live in Ecuador. Besides that, I was still living at home (yeah, it’s normal for latins to live at home until you get married) but I couldn’t stay home or bring him there, it didn’t make sense. So I was going to have to get a place for us.

So, long story short, I rented an apartment for us and I found a place where he could study Spanish. But of course, if we wanted to get him a visa so that he could stay in Ecuador for at least one year and then maybe apply for another type of visa which would allow him to work, he had to enter a Spanish course that would provide us with the documents the government asked for so that they could give him the one-year student visa. And that could only be done in a University, in which the course cost $300 a month (remember how much I made?).

Anyway, after a lot of effort, I was able to rent an apartment, enroll him in the Spanish course and we bought the airplane ticket, which was about $800.00. He arrived and I couldn’t be happier. We moved to the apartment immediately and he started studying and eventually he got the visa, so we were calm about that.

But remember I said he couldn’t work with that type of visa? So I was the only one paying for everything and sooner than later I found myself using the damn credit cards again. I would never blame him and I would never allow anyone to blame him because it was not his fault at all, he has never been a gold digger or acted as one, and I say this now because probably many people will assume he was taking all of my money but that’s not true. It’s just the way things happened.

So I was, again, using all of my income to pay for my credit card bills. And sometimes I would have to take loans from the credit cards in order to be able to pay rent. And then the nightmare started again and hasn’t ended since 2012.

To make the story shorter, in 2013 I lost my job, My boyfriend finally got a resident visa in Ecuador, so he could work, but the fact that he was legally allowed to work doesn’t mean that he was able to get a job.

So he started teaching private Portuguese lessons in order to help, but it just wasn’t enough. We somehow continued struggling, I started working as a freelancer and was able to keep going, but never leaving the sad and desperate debt situation.

The situation was so damn hard and complicated, and the debt would only grow a little bit more each month.  So in January 2015 (exactly one year ago) we decided we couldn’t keep living like this anymore and we talked it over and decided to move to Brazil, considering I could get a work visa right away and Brazil’s economy was supposed to be much better than Ecuador’s. So in March 2015 we made the crazy move and moved to Brazil.

Little did we know Brazil’s economy was going to go to hell in 2015 because of all of the corruption cases and that the brazilian currency, the real, was going to fall so much. When we arrived it was around 2 reais each dollar, today it’s 4.

My debt is in Ecuador, so when I came to Brazil for every dollar I owed I needed 2 reais, now I need 4. I haven’t been able to get a steady job in Brazil, neither has he. Just ridiculously paid jobs that are enough for rent and food, but that’s it. Going back to Ecuador is not an option, because we’d just go back to the same.

My debt is about $18,000. I have 600 reais in my account, which is about $150. I don’t have any work projections for the following weeks, and my rent is due on the 26th. I will probably have the internet cut on the 10th because I don’t have any money to pay for it.

We have some frozen food which is all we can eat. We spent New Year’s Eve eating a hot dog. My family can’t help me, they have their own problems. His family can’t help us either.  On Monday I have to pay $700 and obviously I won’t. So the bank will call my house in Ecuador and will ask it from my parents, I’m behind on many other bills, about $2500 that I should have already paid.

So, Dear Debt, you are destroying my life. But today, on the first day of 2016, I have decided I won’t let you win. It’s either you or me, because we can’t live together. And I’ll be damned if I let it be you.

So, I’m sorry to tell you but I have decided that I am going to hunt you down and I’m gonna kill you. I have it in me, I know, and I just hope I can get the strength to be the man I am and get rid of you. I hope I will be back here on January 1st, 2017, telling all these nice folks that I destroyed you before you destroyed me. So fuck you Debt, let me be free! Leave me alone!