I am not your Valentine

by Melanie

Dear Debt,

I will not be yours. I will not kiss you, nor will I call you. I am not your sweetheart; I am not your valentine.

Stop the fake smooth talking. I don’t believe a word you have to say. Your feigned interest in me always fluctuates. One minute you’re hot, the next you’re not. You have me deep in the red, but what if I just want some black? You can’t give me what I really want. You can’t give me what I really need.

You’ve been a leech; a soul sucking life force draining my resources. And don’t give me that used teddy bear you got from your cousin. Please! Show some tact. It’s like you don’t even know me. If you had a clue, I guess I wouldn’t be writing this letter.

Your Funny Valentine,

Melanie

 

Melanie
Latest posts by Melanie (see all)

12 comments

Jocelyn February 14, 2014 - 3:42 pm

“Your feigned interest in me”!!! Brilliant! Bwahahaha, I love it! Keep up the good work and happy Valentine’s day!

Reply
anna February 14, 2014 - 6:55 pm

LOL at the used teddy bear from your cousin part… Happy V-Day, Melanie! 🙂

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Tonya@Budget and the Beach February 14, 2014 - 9:34 pm

I wonder how many people will go into further debt by financing their valentines’ day on credit cards? Makes you wonder doesn’t it?

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La Tejana @ Debt Free Tejana February 15, 2014 - 5:48 pm

I was thinking the same thing! Such a commercialized holiday.

Reply
deardebt February 16, 2014 - 7:16 pm

I wonder how much money people are making off of other people’s debt?

Reply
deardebt February 16, 2014 - 7:19 pm

Craziness — I don’t even want to think about it!

Reply
Peter H. February 15, 2014 - 8:39 pm

LOL, I gotta write a letter like this myself to my debt someday. Seriously, stop the fake smooth talking… haha. Love it.

Reply
deardebt February 16, 2014 - 7:15 pm

Please do!! I’m always looking for contributors to the dear debt letter project, and would love to hear your perspective. I’m in desperate need of more male perspectives, too 🙂 Email me your letter at deardebt{at}gmail.com

Reply
Marvin February 16, 2014 - 2:36 am

I loved reading this, thank you! Very original

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deardebt February 16, 2014 - 7:14 pm

Thank you, Marvin! I’m glad you enjoy the dear debt letters 🙂

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Lisa E. @ Lisa Vs. The Loans February 19, 2014 - 4:59 am

Haha, I love this!

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deardebt February 19, 2014 - 5:33 am

Hehe I’m glad 🙂

Reply

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