Please seek help

by Melanie

If you are feeling suicidal, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK

To the person who found my site by searching ‘I have so much debt  I want to kill myself”, please get some help. I could interpret that statement as hyperbole, but I don’t take that statement lightly. Hopefully by searching for such a thing, you are looking for others who are going through something similar, but I beg you to also seek professional help. There are many counselors out there that can help you work through this issue. If you don’t have health insurance, or can’t afford counseling, research your local university, church or community services. Oftentimes there are services for reduced cost. When I was going through my own very dark time with life, I went to counseling for $5 a session.

The resources are out there,  you just need to find them. There are people out there that want to help, you just need to find them. I’d love to hear from you, so please feel free to email me.

Remember:

You are not a loan. You are not alone.

I understand how you can feel completely overwhelmed and paralyzed by massive debt. The helplessness, guilt and self-doubt that comes along with debt can be debilitating. But whatever you do, don’t kill yourself over debt. It’s not worth it. Be strong, find a community and get help. Reach out. Talk it through, and just remember it’s just money. You can’t take it with you. Killing yourself may seem like the easy option, but it’s not. If you feel like no one cares, I hope to prove you wrong, because I do. This blog is dedicated to working through some of those deep, dark feelings around debt and I value everyone who is on this journey.

Love,
Melanie

Melanie
Latest posts by Melanie (see all)

121 comments

Jen @ Frugal Rules November 3, 2013 - 7:51 am

Too bad that debt seems to exist to make lives miserable. I feel sorry for those who feel like ending their lives would be the answer. Glad that some who have been there and back are willing to share their experience so that others can learn.

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deardebt November 3, 2013 - 10:34 pm

It just broke my heart that I saw that search term. It’s not worth it!

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randy November 28, 2016 - 4:36 pm

Unfortunately razor capital got me good I don’t see any way out I have lost everything people stay away from predatory lending

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Melanie November 29, 2016 - 6:22 am

Oh no, that’s awful! I’m so sorry 🙁

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Budget and the Beach November 3, 2013 - 3:07 pm

wow that’s scary to think someone would give up on life because of debt. I like what you said that you are not a loan. Very true. There is a lot more in life to be thankful and joyous about. Having debt is just one tiny fraction and you will get through it.

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deardebt November 3, 2013 - 10:36 pm

There is so much to be excited about and it just hurt so much to see that someone is searching that. Debt is not worth ending your life!

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$allieMae October 26, 2016 - 10:27 am

Easy to say that, some of us are in too deep with no end in sight. I was promised if I took the debt I would get a good job. 100s of tries later, I work a mediocre job and live paycheck to paycheck. Literally willing to sell a kidney.

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Melanie October 28, 2016 - 12:11 am

I totally understand where you are at. I’d love to chat further with you, but need an updated email. Can you send me an email? Maybe I can help…or at least provide someone to talk to.

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Holly@ClubThrifty November 4, 2013 - 12:47 pm

That’s really sad =( Hopefully they were just having a bad day and don’t really feel that way.

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deardebt November 6, 2013 - 2:08 am

I hope so too!

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Hayley @ A Disease Called Debt November 4, 2013 - 8:58 pm

I really feel for the person who searched for that term and I hope that they can see that there is a way to resolve their situation without going down that road. Let’s hope they are reading this post right now.

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deardebt November 6, 2013 - 2:09 am

I hope so too, it’s just awful. Hopefully the person is reading, or other people will find this and know it’s not worth it!

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Daisy November 5, 2013 - 4:19 am

Wow, that’s intense. I hope that this person is okay and that they WILL seek help. I can’t imagine feeling like this.

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deardebt November 6, 2013 - 2:10 am

It’s a rough and lonely spot to be in. I instantly teared up when I saw that as a search term and had to say something. I can only hope it was someone being dramatic.

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Eva @ Girl Counting Pennies November 5, 2013 - 8:40 pm

This sounds terrifying and I can only hope that the person who searched for that term did not mean it. I’d rather declare bankruptcy. This is a far better solution.

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deardebt November 6, 2013 - 2:11 am

My first thought was that it must be a person with student loans. You can forgive credit card debt in bankruptcy, but not student loans. Some student loans still linger even after you die! It’s insane.

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KK @ Student Debt Survivor November 6, 2013 - 2:19 am

1-800-273-8255 or 1-800-442-4673 … Trained counselors are available 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Or call 911, or take yourself to the local ER.

There are ways to get out of debt (even if it’s a million dollars of debt feels insurmountable). Your life matters!

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deardebt November 6, 2013 - 6:08 am

I absolutely love the social worker in you, KK! Thanks for your insightful message.

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Michelle November 9, 2013 - 2:38 am

I am sending my thoughts out to that person and letting them know that we are thinking of them. Don’t lose hope!

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deardebt November 9, 2013 - 2:51 am

Agree! Never lose hope.

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Kasey @ Debt Perception November 10, 2013 - 8:03 pm

Love that you reached out to them! It’s a sad fact how the system is rigged so that it may seem like death is the only way out of student loans. 🙁

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deardebt November 11, 2013 - 2:52 am

I’ve also heard of some parents that still have their deceased children’s student loan payments!!! It is so insane and sad. I can’t believe you can claim bankruptcy for credit card debt, but there is no way out for student loans.

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MakintheBacon November 11, 2013 - 12:16 am

I really hope that person came back to read this post. When I was going through a rough time in my life (not money related), I sought out counseling briefly. Sometimes just talking about it helps.

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deardebt November 11, 2013 - 2:51 am

I hope they did too. Counseling can be really helpful, just to have a third party, non-biased perspective.

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LJ March 21, 2014 - 12:41 am

Hello,
I found this as I was worried about my massive debt being given to my mom if I killed myself. I do not think she cosigned as she has never received any letters from my loan service-rs but I do not want to do this to her. I think she would eventually be able to move past my death. I just feel so stupid. I thought I was doing something good. I believed my teachers and the counselors when I thought this would have been an affordable alternative to a 4 year college that I thought I couldn’t afford. I thought I had asked the right questions before signing my soul away, I thought I’d have a decent future not become rich but be able to do Normal things have a place of my own an apartment not even a house. I finished a BAS degree from ITT Tech in industrial design only to find that most engineering firms do not see this as a true degree. I couldn’t go back to school but all of the universities i have contacted say I have to start over but how do I pay for classes with having to pay 1300 dollar monthly loans. I believe i am responsible for my debt i’m not asking to not pay but the debt is not going down but increasing and I feel hopeless. They charge fees on top of fees with no way out. deep down i dont want to die but living like this is not worth it.

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deardebt March 21, 2014 - 3:42 am

I know student loan debt can be an evil, cruel reality, but it’s not worth it to kill yourself. You are so much more than your debt. I am sending you a personal email.

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NY July 12, 2015 - 6:35 pm

Hi,

I am sorry for the grammatical errors for I am writing this via iphone. But anyways, I am now in that same boat as the original writer of this blog. I have been a victim of a scam and now I am deeply in debt. It worries me so much now. I contemplated on ways of ending my own life, but I have so many people in my life that would be very sad at me. The person who scammed me pretended to care about me and my son (I am a hardworking single mother) he promised to help me make more money to support my family only to make me take out thousand dollars worth of loans and constantly harassed me to open a credit card and put him on the account in order for him to pay back the loan or else he wouldn’t only to find out later the maxed my card and his card out on designer brand items. I dug myself a very deep grave. He now tells me I can’t do a thing about it and that he will get away with it. And he has. I’ve talked to an attorney general only to have her tell me she cannot do anything for me. He continues to email me and harass and threaten me about coming to my house. He wants me to cooperate with him as he finds more way to milk money or anything he can out of me. His emails and texts are so degrading and insulting. He tells me how stupid I am to fall for his lies and that I did it to myself. I just want to die. I had great credit before all this and everything I worked so hard for is taken away by someone I thought had good intentions. I know it was my fault. I was too gullible and naive. I feel like no one can help me.

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Melanie July 13, 2015 - 9:34 am

I am so sorry about your situation. My heart breaks for you. Even though this sounds like an awful situation, it’s NOT worth your life. This guy is scum. The best thing you can do is to try and get out of debt and move on from this guy. Don’t beat yourself up. Your situation is tough enough, so be kind. Is it possible to file bankruptcy? That’s obviously a last ditch effort and you should consult a professional, but debt is not worth your life.

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NY July 16, 2015 - 3:53 pm

Hi Melanie,

Your words mean so much at a moment like this. Thank you so much for your reply. I am going to look into filing for bankruptcy. It is my last resort but all the debt that this heartless individual has put me in is more than I can ever handle.

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Miserry December 4, 2015 - 4:49 am

I ended up searching this cue word because i exactly wanted to do that…i am a disgrace to my children,they are budding popular personalities here in our country and my creditors will hit them if i cant pay them..my kids had worked so hard to reach their status,they are starting to have beautiful lives and future but because of me,they might not make it..i think i would rather kill myself to save them..

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crazycat89 December 24, 2015 - 12:58 pm

Hi – unfortunately, I am one of the people googling this subject today. I’ve gone through a foreclosure in which I lost my childhood home, where I raised my own daughter. I now have been notified that a wage garnishment is about to take effect for a credit card debt that is over 10 years old. I do suffer from bouts of severe depression, and struggle with other issues as well. I don’t make a lot of money, and this could potentially leave me without a place to live. I have been attending counseling for several years, but it hasn’t helped very much. I think it’s very easy for others to say “there is a way out”, and that “taking your life isn’t worth it”. Unless you have lived another person’s life and faced their demons, you can’t appreciate the hopelessness, guilt, anger and humiliation they face daily. Some people really just don’t understand what it’s like to feel this way, so I don’t fault them for being appalled at such a drastic idea. I’m overwhelmed with the idea of bankruptcy, but I can’t afford to pay back this debt without sacrificing my ability to pay rent, bills and to be able to eat. The amount is now up to $11,000. It may as well be 1 million dollars. I don’t know where to turn, as I have problems with fear and anxiety. This causes me to freeze and never get anything accomplished. I think I have quite possibly hit my limit. I really thank you so much for listening.

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Melanie December 24, 2015 - 1:21 pm

Thanks so much for stopping by. I am so sorry for your pain and struggles. I am going to email you now, okay?

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Margaret June 8, 2017 - 9:15 am

i read every single comment. Im a shitty painter and i live in a 3rd world country and it does not compare with the situations I’ve read here. Im 33, at home mom with a 3 year old beautiful son, the only thing keeping me from doing anything horrible to myself. but my soul is dead. my depression has made me immobilized . i imagine a world with out money to save everyone with comments here from the misery of what human economics has done. life is cruel and twisted. i want to solve my problem and somehow, i know i can.But my heart now is racing because of so much depression and anxiety. ive failed so much i dont know what to do.

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jesse January 24, 2016 - 9:00 pm

it’s so easy for other ppl to say – “it’s just debt.” i have a therapist. i have help. the thing is – no one understands. no one can help. when i lose my house, i’m homeless. my children are homeless. and, we’ve all gone over all the “possibilities.” it’s already been determined that no one will rent to us. so. hopefully i find the courage to die.

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Melanie January 24, 2016 - 9:03 pm

Jesse, I know it’s easy to say these things. I imagine your situation is very difficult, but I know you and your children can get out of this situation and dying is not the answer. I am going to email you right now.

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Chris March 4, 2016 - 6:12 pm

I owe 60K in student loans, 3k in back taxes and now just got a divorce and hit with child support payments of $1150/mo. So between them I will have about $1000 a month to pay rent, utilities food and gas. My rent alone is $875/mo. for a 1 bedroom apartment. For my kids to stay with me I am required to get a 2 bedroom apartment so I will never be able to see them. None of this can be discharged due to bankruptcy. I’m going to go buy a gun with the money I have left and eat a bullet.

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Melanie March 4, 2016 - 6:21 pm

Please don’t! I know it’s hard, but it’s not worth it. You can figure this out. Emailing you now.

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joe December 1, 2016 - 12:43 pm

ya i owe 100000 in child support
they took my liscence now i dont have a job soon no home

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joe December 1, 2016 - 12:47 pm

“Heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he’s depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, “Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up.” Man bursts into tears. Says, “But doctor…I am Pagliacci.”

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Melanie December 6, 2016 - 5:57 pm

I am so sorry, Joe. Do you want to chat? Email me.

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Gege March 15, 2016 - 6:58 pm

I had a thought to end my life because the debt that I have. I really regret that I lost everything because of casino. I was a hardworker. Never feel tired to earn money to make me and my family life getting better. But because of one night when my friend introduced me to that place. I totally lost control and start losing everything. I totally dissapointed at myself. I hate myself because I dissapointed people that I love. I really wish I can turn back time and never step into that kind of place

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Melanie March 18, 2016 - 9:47 am

I am so sorry you are going through this. I know it’s tough, but don’t give up. Not now, not ever. You have a tough road ahead, but you can do it. Feel free to email me.

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Katie April 11, 2016 - 10:24 pm

This blog entry exists for a serious, important reason: massive debt and no visible way out make for a dangerous combination. It is a soul-sucking, 24/7 horrible feeling associated with guilt, worthlessness, and unrelenting pressure. Aren’t those a few top reasons alone for suicide? I worked my ass off in grad school to be nearly half a year without a job, only to finally end up at a position which pays so little that, YES I do fantasize about ending my life. I contemplate taking out the max on my life insurance so that my family could possibly pay off my debts when I’m gone. The worst, most ironic part of this is that my job performance severely decreases every time I’m broke (nearly every week) and I’m wondering how to stretch out a gatorade and granola bar for a whole day. Then I spend my evenings after work searching the public tax records of my company’s exec board and reeling about how my salary is a drop in their big bucket. The comparison to others is nearly impossible to avoid – this is a small-ish company where the wealth divide is so palpable. I publicly joke about my debt with a super carefree attitude, but, like they say, behind every joke is a bit of truth. And more often than not, that truth goes so deep and reflects something so horrible, that joking is the most obvious, most attainable daily coping mechanism.

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Melanie April 11, 2016 - 11:24 pm

Hi Katie! Thanks so much for your comment. I am so sorry to hear about your situation 🙁 I know how tough it is to manage it all and just want to stop everything. I hope you stay strong and keep going. Things can change. Feel free to email if you want to chat. Also, I deleted the comment you requested…that was when I was less experienced as a blogger and just approved everything 🙂 Now I know better. I’m rooting for you.

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Jenny May 12, 2016 - 2:15 pm

I searched this. I am a 51 year old mother of 3. I have 2 weeks to leave my home. I have been served a court summons for non payment of my council tax which is on top of 50,000 pounds worth of debt i have accrued after my 28 year relationship broke down and he left to set up home with his girlfriend. He beat our daughter and was given a restraining order. He said he will ruin my life and he has suceeded. I will be homeless in 2 weeks but still i am being chased for debts. My mother has alzeimers and terminal cancer. I cant find a way out and the court summons has tipped me over.

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Melanie May 12, 2016 - 11:43 pm

Oh, Jenny. I’m so sorry life is so hard right now 🙁 Is there bankruptcy in your country? Can you talk to your creditor and get an extension? Any friends to live with? Don’t lose hope just yet, let’s explore options.

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anonymous June 20, 2016 - 5:05 pm

HI,

I saw your blog at google and open it, im one of the people thnking ending my life because of the debt that im into. i am a single mom, and i just lose my job last month i have many debt that i need to pay but i dont know how to pay them because right now i dont have a job its so hard finding a job here in our country. i dont know what to do now, sometimes i think ending my life will be a fast solution for all of my problems. i just need someone tot alk to tright now.

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Melanie June 21, 2016 - 10:00 am

I emailed you!

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Lana July 12, 2016 - 4:58 pm

All of these “solutions” don’t help anyone. With resources exhausted and no way out, no wonder we get so defeated. You probably write this tripe while not having to worry about becoming homeless. The “solution” isn’t counseling – it is financia help, but no one wants to give it. As Pink Floyd said “money, so they say, is the root of all evil today. But if you ask for a rise it’s not surprise they’re giving none away”

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Melanie July 12, 2016 - 5:19 pm

Hi Lana, I’m sorry you feel that way. Counseling can help. Additionally, you can look into debt management programs offered by nonprofit credit counseling agencies and look into bankruptcy. Neither are ideal, but could potentially help (though I am not a financial professional). You’re right, I don’t have to worry about becoming homeless, but I am committed to helping others realize there is life beyond debt and that it’s not worth ending your life over. So much so, I DO donate a portion of my blog income to help my readers get out of debt. I’m sending you an email in case you want to chat.

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Td July 21, 2016 - 12:31 pm

This blog isn’t helping much at all. People with money trying sympathize with people with none. Debt isn’t worth killing yourself, but losing everything you have and being put in the street is? Living hungry is? At this point, there really is t anything to live for. At this point, there isn’t anyone that can help. Family has the wrong idea, friends aren’t the right idea, and spousal support is unrealistic. Hanging myself in the shower it’s the best solution I’ve got.

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Melanie July 21, 2016 - 12:37 pm

Hi Td, I understand my words may not be helpful for what you are going through. That doesn’t mean I don’t care. I can imagine how losing everything feels like a failure — like life isn’t worth living. Please don’t hurt yourself, this is just a tough period, but this doesn’t mean it will be the rest of your life. I’m emailing you now.

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Jess July 27, 2016 - 2:57 pm

“It’s just money”. Yeah well how it works in this country is that unless you have money, you aren’t going to meet your basic necessities for life. Money gets you food, shelter, and water. What is the point of living when that money is going towards student loan payments instead of meeting your basic needs? Please tell me why I should continue living after realizing I wasted six years and $150k for two degrees that aren’t worth anything in this country? I dream of taking sleeping pills and ending this miserable life, but I’m guilted by the idea of my loved ones paying for my private loans after I’m dead.

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Melanie July 27, 2016 - 7:48 pm

I know, it sucks. Money is important, but debt is not worth killing yourself over. I emailed you.

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D.B September 16, 2016 - 9:40 pm

You know I toy with the idea and yes I do realize this is not Healthy. I was injured on the job a few years back I broke both my legs (spiral tibia fractures) and my back(l2-l3 compression fractures) A negligent contractor ran over my pressure washing line and drug me off of a 32′ ladder I worked really hard learning how to walk again I spent only a few months In a wheelchair before I was motivating to a walker and then to walking again with a now permanent limp with a year after the injury. Well in the mean time I had to live off of credit cards to survive because what I brought home after taxes and support came out I simply did not make enough to cover my expenses. Fast forward a year and I’m back at work and beginning to just about have all my debts paid off meanwhile workers comp decided to settle with me to close out the case at a very meager amount. I have never been one to look for hand outs noe sue an insurance company and after all I had my life and I could still walk with a little more effort than before. Shortly after my boss sales her home and moves out of the country leaving me with the company which was an honor but also very expensive counting the payments I made to her to finance this and the payroll of nine + 4 gas hog vans. I did everything I could to leave everything the same as she had already in place.What I did not account for was the now huge increase in our workers compensation it had doubled.Eventually I began to sink further and further in debt and making some very bad decisions when it came to whom I trusted with finances I lost everything I personally had for savings and over 65k from the business.First our revolvable accounts begin one by one I was no longer able to pay,then our insurance would no longer renew the policy in my name with the mod score/loss run we have. I found one that would insure for 10k down and a hefty monthly payment to boot. Then when they received a certificate of the loss runs they cancelled on us again. Well one by one I began to loose more and more builders as I am pretty much unemployable without the policy. Now I can no longer afford to pay a Cpa to do our taxes and aside from not filing taxes the last 2 quarters I haven’t paid any taxes at all. I’m scared,stressed,ashamed and feel like a complete failure. I have been in my profession for over 25 years and I can tell you damm near anything you could dream up a solution for. I just simply do not have a solution as it pertains to my life, no creditors will touch me due to my personal high balances on credit cards and my debt to income ratio. The boss I financed the business with is elderly and relies on the income I pay to survive. I know that it would be so easy for me to simply sail my van off the side of a gorge here. But the reality is I have 3 children,a wife and my previous employer who all look to and depend on me. So I walk around now in a state much worse than death with a heavy heart and a knot in my gut because I feel this impending doom but failure is not an option nor defeat. So for those of you who toy with this notion I myself typed these words that came from inside when I stumbled upon this site….

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Melanie September 16, 2016 - 10:07 pm

I am so sorry to hear this DB. It sounds like you’ve had a rough time. I’m going to send you an email to chat!

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Zach September 28, 2016 - 11:51 am

I got here because I want to kill myself because of my debt. I can’t stay on top of it. And guess what? I can’t find any of those “cheap counseling services”. No one gives a crap about me, they just want to see $$$$$$. So I appreciate the sentiment but I think suicide still sounds amazing compared to my debt.

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Melanie September 28, 2016 - 11:53 am

I am emailing you now! It’s not worth it.

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DONE WITH IT ALL January 5, 2017 - 8:12 am

SAME HERE

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Melanie January 5, 2017 - 1:04 pm

I am here to chat and I DO care. And it’s not worth it.

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G.Miriam November 24, 2016 - 11:38 pm

They are tearing me apart. I am a mother of three and also suffering from Post Partum Preeclamsia,and depression, top it off my daughter has medical conditions.
I really need a blessing, something that will help. I feel like taking off and not having to face the debt I put my family through.
I just want to off myself and be less of a disappointment to everyone including my mother.

im newly engaged, no ring needed as we are far beyond poor now. No food, no rent money and No money for bills or my kids needs.(diapers and Formula.) I hate my life in a nut shell at this point.

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Melanie November 26, 2016 - 10:40 am

Oh, dear I am so sorry! You are dealing with so much right now. I know it’s tough, but don’t give up. I am emailing you now!

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MF January 15, 2017 - 3:36 am

I’m sure you mean well, but telling people “it’s not worth it” is judgmental and condescending when you haven’t even come close to walking in our shoes. You don’t know what’s “worth it” to me or anyone else. There are situations in which death is preferable to continuing a life of hell. Try living in your car for months when the weather is in the low teens – because your debt (in my case, $400k and growing due to interest, penalties and fees – NONE of it dischargeable in bankruptcy!) left you homeless and you had no where to go and no one to help you. Then let us know how “not worth it” suicide is.

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Melanie January 15, 2017 - 2:26 pm

Hi MF, I am sorry you feel I am being judgmental and condescending. That is not my intention at all. Perhaps I can’t change anyone’s mind, but it’s my hope that I can show that someone cares. I don’t have all the answers, but I want to try to help.

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aireen jurcales January 19, 2017 - 6:49 am

Please help me im scarred totally deppres.please im begging you people with soft heart help me please i cant sleep everynight.

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Melanie January 19, 2017 - 12:34 pm

Emailing you now.

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Dennis Titus February 12, 2017 - 11:49 am

Find myself in debt just because i want to help a friend out, the more I tried to get out I keep accumulating more and more debt, have been the only source of finance for my family, now no any source of finance as all my savings had been use to paid debt but the amount yet to pay is far to much, have final exam to write no money to pay for it, no food in the house, don’t just know where to turn to any the only thought coming to me now is to just end this life, can’t sleep at night just don’t know what else.

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Melanie February 12, 2017 - 12:23 pm

Emailing you now. Don’t give up!

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I Am February 12, 2017 - 10:31 pm

Sadly this is how I really feel. I don’t know what to do, I am so ashamed of myself and the mistakes I made that led me here. There is no way out. I called my bank, they couldn’t help me. I never wanted my credit raised and they did it… but it is only my fault that I went ahead and spent it. I have other student loans too. I pay it back and then the interest is 100 dollars more. I am tired, and I feel so hopeless. I started a blog to help me write about my feelings, and already it has been such a rollercoaster. I don’t know if I will ever be free from debt. I went to school and took out OSAP, and I don’t have a teacher job to help pay this back. My feelings of failure prevent me from even trying at this point. I don’t feel like I can keep all of this up.

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Melanie February 13, 2017 - 11:41 am

Can you share your blog with me? You are NOT a failure. Not at all. Email me!

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Suicidal February 15, 2017 - 4:57 am

“You can’t take it with you” THAT’S why I want to die! I have NOTHING but stress and debt and future debt. Take it with me sounds like having a pile of money or stuff, oh give it away you can’t take it with you. My mom killed herself last year, and I got left with her debt too! Knowing she could do it makes it so much easier, at least I know a way that works for sure, and I have no one to pass mine and her debt to, so maybe it will finally go away.

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Melanie February 15, 2017 - 7:34 am

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I know my words won’t help everyone or change anything, but I’m here if you want to chat. Have you talked to your lenders? Tried a different repayment program? Considered bankruptcy? I hate that you are in so much pain.

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Christian Husband February 17, 2017 - 2:09 am

I am very depressed and suicidal at the age of 33. I went for a bank loan to set up a Recruiting Company. Business has been so bad all employees resigned and it finally collapsed. I owe up to USD 25,000 and have no way of paying back. My wife walked away without a word and my little daughters are home because I cannot pay school fees. I feel like a failure, I lost every thing and cant even stand to face life. Its too much to handle.. Am looking at a knife and an injection of rat poison. Don’t know which to use.
LIFE HASN’T BEEN FAIR TO ME!!!

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Melanie February 17, 2017 - 3:47 pm

I am so sorry to hear this. I know life is not fair, but don’t give up. I’m emailing you now!

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Christian Husband February 21, 2017 - 3:47 am

Many thanks will be waiting ….

Emmanuel March 6, 2017 - 1:48 pm

All my hopes seems to have gone .no hope again of getting out of my debt ,I am thinking of ending it at once.but am thinking of my aged parent and my kids.any way out .

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Melanie March 6, 2017 - 10:11 pm

I know it’s so hard, but it’s not worth it. Emailing you now!

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Wrong email March 7, 2017 - 10:16 am

I am currently is extreme situation where darkness overshadow such way there, i don’t even seeing a glimpse of light coming out from anyway, expecting miracle is expecting too much, i don’t know how long and how far i can continue but it’s getting ugly day by day…

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Melanie March 7, 2017 - 11:19 am

I know, I’ve been there. It can get better though. I encourage you to call 1-800-273-8255 to chat with someone.

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Wrong email March 7, 2017 - 10:22 am

Instead of begging someone, i would better be called coward, these days no one helps, in fact if given chance, they would be mocking behind the back, i am holding back because my aged mother, had she not been there, may be this comments would never have come…no friends, those who can help, won’t…

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Melanie March 7, 2017 - 11:20 am

If you give me your correct email or email me, I will listen and help. It’s not worth giving up on.

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Debt And Beyond March 12, 2017 - 1:24 am

I understand counseling and talking to people, but talking to someone doesn’t pay off my debt. Ya, I’m an idiot and went to private college all in student loans. Guilty. Can’t change it. 38 years old, live in a dirty apartment with a wife and an 8 year old daughter who beat leukemia. Sad thing is, my wife and I are well over $100k in student loan debt, medical debt, etc. I can’t find a job to save my life. After rent, student loan payments and whatever the medical debt we pay is, we are already oversrafted. I think suicide is actually an excellent idea. Retirement? Never. Why go through 40 more years of absolute misery and watch my daughter get made fun of for being beyond poor? Ya, try and talk me out of it. Depression? We’re way beyond that. A way out? Yep. If only I could have afforded life insurance…

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Melanie March 12, 2017 - 9:53 pm

I know my words can’t make people’s debt disappear. I wish it could, believe me. I know it’s tough, but debt is not worth dying for. I am going to email you some potential options.

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Brandon March 22, 2017 - 6:49 am

Can someone talk with me? I feel hopeless and no one seems to truly be here for me. I have a completely dysfunctional family, been to the hospital twice and didnt even receive that much help except more freaking payments. Families friends advise I pay them off myself which is frustrating because they don’t know situation or even all the reasons I ended up in the hospital. Moms a cynicism about money and I’m about to go into student loans for accounting which I still have 2 more years and don’t want to be in 30,000 dollars of debt doing something that’s not for me. I’m tired of this and everything…..Please help. I’m not going back to the hospital but I hate my life and myself right now.

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Melanie March 22, 2017 - 10:35 am

I am so sorry to hear about your situation, Brandon. I am emailing you now.

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Alvin April 22, 2017 - 8:14 am

Sometimes, it is much easier if the debt level is not that high. I have debt level of around USD450,000 with a annual income of around USD125,000. I have been using one loan to pay off another credit card minimum payment. It has been almost impossible for me to manage the debt and I can’t sleep or eat well.

I am in financial industry and any bankruptcy will render me being fired. I really want to end my life to put myself out of misery. I am trying to explore other avenues, but I really run out of ideas. I am in depression and my friends can sense it, but I just can’t share any of these with them.

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Melanie April 24, 2017 - 8:38 am

Alvin, I’m so sorry for your situation. I can imagine how tough it is with your job and financial situation. Can you take on extra work at night? Or downsize in any way? I know that’s not so easy for everyone. But it’s not worth giving up!

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RB June 17, 2017 - 7:09 am

alone and hurting. living with debt not being able to breathe all the time, just dying

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Melanie June 18, 2017 - 11:08 am

Don’t give up! I am emailing you now.

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BS June 29, 2017 - 9:32 am

Found this while thinking I would rather not wake up tomorrow than face not being able to pay my kids college fees. I work full time, tried joining every freelance site, surveys, blogs to try make extra. Still $500 short.
No, they will not allow any leeway, pay or get out. He’s tried so hard, I’m broken.

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Melanie June 29, 2017 - 9:44 am

I’m not an advocate for debt, but in this case, can your kids take out student loans to cover the rest?

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Heather August 21, 2017 - 2:59 pm

This is how I found your blog. Im a new mom and we are downing in debt. I feel like a life failure. I did all the things your supposed to do. Went to college (debt) got a job (social work-bad idea) waited until 28 to get married, now im 30 with a newborn and we make to much to qualify for any help. We are barely paying out bills and our house and cars everything needs repairs and is crumbling around us. I am a failure and my son deserves more. I can only see one way out of this.

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Melanie August 21, 2017 - 5:37 pm

Emailed you!

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anonymous September 11, 2017 - 6:36 pm

reading this made me feel a little relief been battling with depression right now, I have a debt in my school and is holding my credentials if I won’t pay them. I can’t find work because they need my credentials. Thinking of killing myself felt useless and a total failure. I failed my parents..

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Melanie September 15, 2017 - 12:20 pm

Emailing you now!

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Nicole October 27, 2017 - 1:49 pm

My financial situation has made me suicidal, I have tried so hard to get back in track, but what’s the point every time I get my head above water something happens and I end up worse off all over again. So sick and tired of it all now.

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Melanie October 31, 2017 - 12:21 pm

I am so sorry, Nicole! I know how frustrating it is. It can feel so overwhelming. Don’t give up though, keep fighting. I am here to chat.

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Nicole October 31, 2017 - 4:12 pm

Thanks Melanie, I feel so lost. We have no one to turn to and really all we need is this one thing to make things okay for us. I really can’t go on living like this much longer…

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Melanie November 7, 2017 - 7:29 pm

As you know I emailed ya 🙂

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Aaron November 2, 2017 - 12:01 pm

Really tired of the debt looming over my head… I have a 20K debt for an education I didn’t finish because of my depression. Now I can’t go back to school and work a dead end job. I will never make enough to even pay the interest because I can’t get a better job. Plus a lot of options aren’t available to me just because I live in the middle of nowhere. I don’t see another solution to escape from my crappy job and town. School was my solution and I failed and now the debt is keeping me stuck here. If I have to do this job much longer I will kill myself.

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Melanie November 7, 2017 - 7:29 pm

Don’t do it! Emailing you!

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andrew November 12, 2017 - 7:27 pm

gambling got me. and thers no way out. i feel like killing myself right now.. im ashamed of myself, embarassed to face my parents and friends. i have been trying to get help from whereever i can but now it seems like theres no hope.

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Melanie November 13, 2017 - 1:59 pm

Emailed you!

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J March 21, 2018 - 9:15 pm

I have $5,000 in IRS debt from incorrect filing in 2016 and I incorrectly filed again this year prior to getting notified about 2016 so I’m sure another $5,000 next year. I’m still laying down the $4,000 left in credit cards from having to charge up from a back surgery.
My wife doesn’t know about IRS as I’m embarrassed to tell her. We have a 4year old daughter whom I love dearly and feel like I’m failing as a person. One income family. Happy famil with weak finances even though I have a great job.
I’m constantly getting so close to out of debt only to get buried again, and now buried hard.

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Chris July 6, 2018 - 3:30 am

I found this blog because i have so much debt and want to kill myself, im 27 im sorry if i make you sad, but ive had a hard life my mum had servear deppression and suffered from bipolar and scitzchafrenia still does, when she has an episode she goes crazy and turns into a loopy insane person who seems to be perseast by the devil, that is the best way to explain how she is, i never had a dad he didn’t want anything to do with me or my mum when i was born he married somone else and had 2 son’s and a daughter, these are siblings i have that ive never met. But have seen there wonderful lives on facebook travelling around the world going on holidays with our dad and traveling to bali for there mums wedding.
A completely different life to me.
I grew up with my mum just me and her no help or support from extended family, they never had the time for me and mum, they were successful and mum had her mental illness that kept her from having a normal life, she had bad social anxiety and i would have to do the shopping as a kid, so it was just me and mum as a kid, unfortunately mum also had an addiction to alcohol and the pokies, so money from her disability pension would go on that, i dont blame my mum she had a hard life with her mental illness and had no support from her family they didnt want anything to do with mums problems from her mental health to our financial problems, they would all ways make mum and i feel like complete heals for asking for help exp: money for food or petrol, so me and mum wouldnt ask because they would just make us feel bad.
I was just a little kid, i went hungry most nights of the week while mum was at the pokies hoping to get a win so she could come home with a heap of money for food.
Somtimes she would turn our last $10 into acouple hundread and we would eat like kings for a couple of days and savour in the moment of true happiness being able to eat till our hearts were content.
When mum had her breakdowns as a little kid it was scary to see my mum loopy and not herself acting wierd and crazy.
One day i came home from school and the house was turned upside down, my mum was in a psychotic episode, the chair was on top of tge stereo everthing was a complete mess and had been trashed.
It was just me and mum i was a kid about 8 years old, there was no one to come over and check up on me and mum to see how she was if we were ok they all just went about there happy lives while me and mum were in this house together while she was mentally un well, and not well enough to be able to look after me, we were in the middle of a busy road and a truck stopped infront us then police were called, i didnt k ow at the time but my mum was in a breakdown episode. Long story short im indebt of 30,000 and im 27 and have never known a good life. I dont feel like i have a way out i turned 18 and my life problems growing up followed me, i have no car license i have no food no money and no job and owe $1120 a months rent and i dont know what to do, i have always hoped for a good life since i was a little kid thought when i turned 18 i could get a job and change my life, but i had no one help me get a license so i drove unlicensed to get a job, then got caught alot and lost anychance of getting a licence anytime soon and racked up alot of unlicensed and unregistered fines amounting to 15000, even while i was working and driving unlicensed i still couldnt afford to stop driving unlicensed coz i needed the money to get by.
Ive been on spiral down hill my whole life, i couldnt get my license coz i had no one to teach me to drive an had no money to pay somone to teach me and paying for learners wasnt somthing i had any money for so i felt the only way to get a job was to buy a car and drive to work but almost ten years later that has just made my life worst and lead me to drugs and alcohol, i just want to end this life of pain.

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kaye November 2, 2018 - 3:44 am

found this website just by searching the web about killing yourself because of debt.
I’m 27, from a 3rd world country. high school graduate and didn’t get to enter college because our family is poor + stress + social anxiety disorder.. never had a job because of SAD, can’t travel without a family member or a close friend, gained so much weight, suffering from depression for more than 8yrs. now.. live in a country where mental disorder is treated like a joke.. attempted suicide multiple times but even in that part I have no luck. damn!
now i have a $2k debt. that my family and friends doesn’t know.. $2k here in our country is huge.. specially if you don’t have any source of income.. i don’t blame anybody but myself, been trying sooo hard to find a job for more than 5yrs. now but who would hire someone like me, right?! lol
so yeah death looks like a grand lottery price to me.. planning on doing it again next year i hope i can successfully do it by then.. silently. no goodbyes, no explanation.. nothing.. just a cold lifeless me…

thanks to this website, I can atleast type and share this.. sorry for doing it here.. 🙂

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Melanie November 2, 2018 - 10:29 am

You can always share your story here. You are not alone. I am so sorry you are going through this. Don’t give up, though! Have you tried any online work?

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Kucia November 9, 2018 - 12:46 pm

I feel somewhat relieved when I came across your website.
I don’t think I have the nerves to kill myself but somehow was considering to do it. I could write an epistle about my story. Basically, I am in debt and don’t see a way out without a job. At this point, I am willing to do anything to make some cash. If you know of any online jobs I can do, please share (I live in the Caribbean).
Keep doing what you’re doing Melanie.

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Melanie November 9, 2018 - 7:51 pm

Thank you! Will email you.

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Saikiran February 2, 2019 - 10:13 am

Hi ma’am,im 22age
My life is unsatisfied ,
I decided to die because of
I invested in my business,
But i got loss,
Now i dont have any money,
Feeling guilty infront of all,
I hoped so much,
But now feeling very sad,
But im afraid to die,
Just now opened
To try any online job,
If it works,
By that money
I will step forward,
Im seeking help no one is geeting forward,
If i get any online work i will
Be happy or else
I cant do anything
Please
Im begging u
Please show me anything to my life..
Please whole hearted im requesting u
I will owe to u please pls….n

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Melanie February 3, 2019 - 10:19 pm

I emailed you! Don’t give up!

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Alicia Harris April 1, 2019 - 9:53 am

When my rent is due next month, I am going to kill myself. I do not have the money and am tired of living a joyless and impossible life.

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Melanie April 4, 2019 - 9:43 am

I emailed you a few days ago! Please hit me back!

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Mike April 23, 2019 - 1:06 pm

Reading through these comments and I’m the same situation. I owe 5400 pound I need to pay back by tomorrow or I’m no much bother. If I just kill myself tonight then that’s the end of it . I’ve been so low for months , can’t sleep can’t eat nothing . Please someone tell me a way out of this 😭😭 I’m scared to end it all as have family but honestly got to stage where think they would be better without me and move on with there lives

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Melanie April 23, 2019 - 11:05 pm

Emailed you!

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Pink Candle June 17, 2019 - 5:06 pm

2 years ago, my position was relocated and I thought I was doing the admirable thing by not moving my family and taking the severance and look for a job. Well I got a job but nothing that pays like what I made previously. Now my family and I have a ton of debt.
I have not planned suicide but I have asked God to just take me. Relieve me so I can have peace in Heaven. I have been so brokenhearted, this needs to end…

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Melanie June 18, 2019 - 5:14 pm

Emailed you!

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P.a September 18, 2019 - 3:36 pm

Lol I searched and I found this .I was reading the comments and realized none of these people has no clue about this situation, actually reading the comments made me more determined , none of you has no idea what debt is specially when you have family who depends on you , you dont wanna end it for the debt it’s the shame that you cant stand it’s your lost dignity ,begging for money from family and friends and they reject you most of the time , you shouldn’t talk about it if you haven’t felt the real meaning of rock bottom

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Melanie September 19, 2019 - 10:21 am

Please don’t give up. I just emailed you.

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Rigo February 7, 2021 - 5:08 pm

I’m pretty terrified when I wake up. I have 50k in debt. I went to school and had a meltdown and ended in a hospital. I really thought that I could do it. Now I’m at a job strictly out of necessity due to covid as my unemployment was running out. This job doesn’t pay enough. I might end up homeless. I wake up feeling suicidal everyday. I have dry heaving spells due to anxiety and ive lost 30lbs just from what I think is severe depression. I really hate my life. I fucked it up trying to “go for my dreams.” I am learning to cope as best I can but I feel like im going to just push everyone away.

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Melanie February 7, 2021 - 7:35 pm

I am so sorry you’re going through this. I know it’s awful. These are such hard times. But hard times don’t last forever. I’ve emailed you.

Reply

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