Hello friends! I have a beautiful, raw, and heart-wrenching dear debt letter for you. I have to admit, I cried a little when I read it. Debt is so hard to deal with, but I want to assure you that we can overcome it together. You are not alone. You are not crazy for feeling what you are feeling. Thank you to Shelly, who submitted this beautiful piece.
More about Shelly: Shelly S. grew up an army brat, traveled the country, traveled the world, studied ecology in college and graduated to become an artist, healer, and environmental activist. One day she would like to co-create an intentional prepper community of tiny houses and a food forest. But first she’d like to get out of debt!
Dear debt,
How long will I feel like a victim of circumstance before I grow strong again and have the courage to face you, accept your presence and my part in it? Right now I am a coward. I seek approval from strangers by telling my story… The one that feels sad and justifies why you became a part of my life. I have told this story so many times and I have ruined too many moments of my life thinking about you, debt. It restricts how I go grocery shopping and I always have a few things left at the register that I give back because I can’t afford everything. It affects my diet and how crappy fast foods that I wouldn’t have touched years ago become part of my daily life. Debt affects if I get the plumbing fixed or the air conditioner working.
Does it sound weird to say that I have even considered not being wife material anymore because who would want to marry my unwelcome bedside fellow, debt.
Debt are you going to follow me everywhere? I am scared to see a doctor or a dentist because this will add to your size and one day I fear you will crush me.
It was my choice to use you. I signed every receipt and this made survival possible, but really…. Really. I hate you. I have considered bankruptcy. I just want to eliminate you. You are a recent addition to my life and I feel so much shame for being with you. Please leave me. Take my things, sell them off, pay the hospital and the credit cards. Take my house but leave me a little money to start fresh. Let me have a fresh start.
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17 comments
Wow, what a touching post, Melanie and Shelly. I can SO identify. Thanks so much for sharing!
You’re welcome, glad you enjoyed! 🙂
I’m so sorry things are so tough right now Shelly. I really hate the idea that fast food is so much cheaper than healthy food as I know it’s a big problem out there. But in the long run it ends up creating MORE health problems and more expenses. 🙁 Is there a local dental school you could try to receive care from? I don’t know your entire situation but I’m sending you good thoughts. BTW you are worthy of love no matter what your situation!!!
WOW! What a raw letter. I love the emotions displayed. It’s how a lot us truly feel (at least I thinks it’s a lot of us, I know it’s me for sure). Shelly, please don’t give up. Keep working and you’ll get there. I totally understand what you mean when you say “Debt affects if I get the plumbing fixed or the air conditioner working.” I have been putting off getting a couple things on my car fixed because I know I have other expenses coming up too. It is so frustrating!
Debt does not make you an unworthy person, Shelly! Never devalue what you have to give to the world and others because of it. I hope things get better for you soon. I’m rooting for you to crush your debt.
There was a recently article in the NY Times about people not wanting to date others who have a huge amount of debt. It was heart-breaking, but at the same time, you understand why someone might be unwilling to take on someone else’s debt load. It’s a tough, tough circumstance for anyone invoked, I think. Good luck!
It makes me so sad people feel unlovable because of it. But I also understand the other side. It’s definitely tough! Thanks for stopping by, Sandy. Love your blog! 🙂
Shelly, instead of full on bankruptcy, perhaps a non-profit debt consolidation plan/debt restructuring may work better for you? It may adversely impact your credit rating in the short term but the more important issue is to get your head above water. You can even do this debt restructuring on your own as many of us did in order to become debt free. It’s hard to suggest options and strategies that would work best for you as we don’t know much of the details. But, know that you aren’t alone and there is a huge PF community willing to support your efforts to get rid of your debt. Best wishes to you.
I agree this letter was so raw and real – it’s heart-wrenching to hear that she doesn’t feel worthy of love (you are!) or that she’s afraid to take care of her health. If she has a blog, I’d love to read more!
Shelly, please know that there are a lot of people out here in the internet routing for you. Don’t let your debt define you. You are much stronger, brighter, more capable and definitely more loving than debt will ever be. Keep your chin up and know that every day, every wise decision and every smile you give is moving you in the right direction towards debt freedom and love. Whatever comes first, time will tell! 🙂
Beautiful, raw, and full of tremendous emotion. I loved it. Sending hugs and wonderful thoughts to you, Shelly…
A fresh start. What everybody wishes for after battling it out with debt. How I wish the battle would be short-lived for everybody.
Wow Shelly, that’s an amazing, heart felt dear debt letter! Thanks for sharing your experience in such an emotional way!
Thank you for sharing this.
This is the story of most of the people and I truly relate with this debt letter. Debt has become part and parcel of life which seems like never ending trap.
AMAZING! Such a raw letter. I love the particular feelings exhibited. It’s how a great deal all of us actually experience (at minimum When i considers it’s many people, I know it’s everyone intended for sure). Shelly, please don’t stop trying. Retain working and also you’ll arrive. When i fully realize what you imply whenever you state “Debt has an effect on easily have the plumbing preset or maybe the environment conditioner working. ” I’ve been putting off receiving a pair things upon our car preset since I know We have other costs coming up way too. It can be and so aggravating!
Thanks for stopping by. This letter is one of my favorites!