September 15, 2017

As you might have noticed, it’s been awhile since I posted. I’m not proud of that but sometimes life just gets in the way.

Sometimes it’s about surviving what’s ahead and dealing with “in real life” stuff rather than my ramblings online.

I love this space and want to continue to nurture it but I also need to take care of myself. This year has brought physical health issues, mental health issues and most recently, the dissolution of my 9-year partnership.

Though it is for the best, I am completely devastated. It’s been a rough couple of weeks that have tested me in many ways. At times, I could not stand to take it “day by day” but only minute by minute. It’s been difficult to eat. To sleep. To let go of those dreams that you held so dear. The ones that will never happen the way you imagined.

I feel like I’ve lost a limb and I’m learning how to function again. I’m learning how to stand on my own two feet again without having an emotional crutch. Now that everything has cracked, I see all my faults come to light and am trying to become the best person I can be.

It’s a journey. If you want to follow along, you can keep up with my personal writing.

While my love life was imploding, I was trying to keep it together for Lola Retreat, the love + money retreat Emma and I have been planning the last 10 months.

And let me tell you. It was beyond anything I could’ve imagined. It filled me up with so much joy and hope to be around so many incredible women. We laughed. We had fun. We got deep about the issues around love + money (I may have lost it during that session), money mindset and more.

Check out these amazing pics by my friend Kathleen Celmins. And if you want a serious case of FOMO, listen to the Martinis and Your Money episode we recorded live at Lola.

We had pretty sweet swag

Emma Pattee and Melanie Lockert

Welcome Reception sponsored by Wealthsimple

Tonya Rapley of My Fab Finance

Saturday programming



Wish you were here. Postcards by Honeyfi

Closing brunch

Lastly, I decided to organize the Suicide Prevention Blog Tour again this year. This is an issue near and dear to my heart and more relevant than ever. If you’re a blogger, there’s still time to contribute, so contact me!

Anyway, that’s why I’ve been radio silent here. Between the big projects and events and the overwhelming grief, I’m taking it minute by minute.

I am focusing on being resilient (oh yeah, I got my first tattoo a few months ago. Semicolons in honor of Project Semicolon).


Melanie is a freelance writer currently living in Portland, Oregon. She is passionate about education, financial literacy, and empowering people to take control of their finances. She writes about breaking up with debt, freelancing, and side hustle adventures at

Currently she puts more than 50% of her income towards debt, while living a frugal, fun life. In addition to her love of personal finance, art and music, she is also a karaoke master. Follow the adventure @DearDebtBlog.

Latest posts by Melanie (see all)

15 responses to “Life, Love, Loss and Lola”

  1. Hang in there Melanie! I love reading your posts. That event looks like it was a lot of fun and love your tattoo — so unique!

  2. Cindy says:

    Take care of yourself! I’m praying for you and sending positive thoughts your way! Thanks for your great work.

  3. Janet Fazio says:

    Gosh, so sorry yo’ve been hit with so many things at once. I hope the rest of the year brings you some peace.

  4. Chonce says:

    I hate to hear about your relationship, but I am so glad that you are taking care of yourself. It’s so important to do so. Also, love the tattoo!
    Chonce recently posted…How Financial Stress Can Affect Your Mental HealthMy Profile

  5. Miss Mazuma says:

    So sorry to hear about your break up…and going through all of that with the emotional roller coaster of Lola?! Girl, you held it together quite well.

    I realize the emotional gap is hard to fill, but this is also a great chance to breath fresh air into all your wounds. Clean out all the gunk and the sun will soon shine again. Knowing only a tiny bit about you, it would be hard to miss that you are an amazing, resilient, and talented woman. Lola proved that – the seed that it started from and the amazing tree that flourished. You inspired a bunch of women as a result. It is tough now, but you will get through this because you are a BAD ASS CHICK! 🙂 Sending hugs!!
    Miss Mazuma recently posted…The Do’s & Dont’s of Walking the Camino de SantiagoMy Profile

    • Melanie says:

      Thank you so much dear. Yes, I held it together for 48 hours for Lola lol. I love your line “breath fresh air into all your wounds”. WOW! I will hold that image close as I try to heal. I so appreciate your kind words and glad you enjoyed Lola. I am so happy to continue with that and see what’s next!

  6. Sarah says:

    I’m sorry. You are so right to be taking care of yourself. When I was going through an unexpected end to an 18 year relationship, my mom said, “Remember to be kind to yourself.” Those words stuck with me and I always share them. Minute by minute, day by day, it does take time. You will get to the other side of this. I’ll keep you in my prayers.

    • Melanie says:

      Yes, I am trying to be kind and focus on myself. I am so sorry to hear about your 18-year relationship. It’s so hard to let go and heal, but day by day I’m getting better. Thanks for thinking of me!

  7. ZJ Thorne says:

    Love and support to you! These major life changes are hard. I hope you find the balance you need to pursue wholeness for yourself on your terms. Solidarity!
    ZJ Thorne recently posted…Net Worth Week 76 – Grief Approaches EditionMy Profile

  8. Hey Melanie! Really sorry to hear about the recent events in your life. It’s never easy and especially when they hit all at once. I wish you all the best in healing soon.
    When I am in a bad place, diving into work generally gives me less time to grieve and I think preparing for Lola Retreat might have helped you in the same manner.
    All the very best. May the wounds make you ever stronger.
    Aparna @ Elementum Money recently posted…Follow Friday: Budgets Are SexyMy Profile

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