It’s not where I am now, but how far I’ve come

by Melanie

I am listening to music, drinking Pumpkin Spice Chai and feeling pretty good. This is a far cry from a few days ago when I wrote about falling behind. Some days I feel great, some days are mediocre and some days I just want to hibernate and not wake up until I am debt free, because the depression is so real.

It’s a certain feeling of stuckness. It’s the weight of comparison and regret that lay heavy on my shoulders.  With every move, I am trying to avoid any missteps. I try my best not to dwell on what feels like a mistake and view my life as an adventure. I’ve played the boss and the housecleaner, I’ve lived, loved and traveled, and although this one particular aspect of my life seems to define so much for me at this point, I know I’ve lived an incredibly rich life.

To remind me of this fact, I need to constantly tell myself that it’s not where I am now, but how far I’ve come.  When I started this blog, I was seasonally employed and making a paltry wage.  For two years post graduation, I didn’t have health insurance.  I had a hard time adjusting to Portland and making friends. I was also mired in debt and feeling pretty helpless. I needed something, anything to change. So I started this blog and with my first post I declared war on my debt. The odds were not promising as I stood with little hope, making $20k/year with $57, 426.14 of student loan debt.

Nine months later, I am so happy that my life has changed so much. I got a full-time job, (with 25% pay increase) one week shy of my contract ending and got health insurance three months later. This blog has been a great outlet for me creatively and personally, and it’s given me the ability to connect with so many people. I remember how alone I used to feel.  Now I have real life friends who I met because of this blog. I have people who inspire me to continue and not give up. In 9 months, I’ve paid off $10, 783.09! In my first post I said I wanted to be debt free in 4 years (at 32 years old) and at the time that was impossible, but I wanted to set my intention out to the universe. I still have a long way to go, but my goals are actually on track!

Current Debt: $46, 643.05

Because such good things have happened from writing down what I want, I thought I’d establish some intentions for the rest of the year and more specific goals for October.

October:

– Go out to restaurants only once a week (this is my only real vice!)
– Practice Spanish, Portuguese and French on Duolingo.com 5x per week
– Finish one book
– Write a guest post
– Confirm three more people for my Dear Debt Letters project
– Finish recording a song with my partner (he’s a musician, I sing) 🙂

Goals for the rest of the year:

– Make my first $1 from my blog
– Grow Dear Debt Letter project
– Side hustle enough so that I can continue paying $1,500 per month towards debt (do you hear that universe?)
– Learn how to drive stick shift

What are your goals for the rest of the year? And don’t be so hard on yourself. Re-define success and keep trying.

Melanie
Latest posts by Melanie (see all)

46 comments

Girl Meets Debt October 2, 2013 - 5:27 am

Optimistically I want to pay off my debt in 4 years too but with a wedding, honeymoon and other grown up things to plan in the next few years, 5 years is more realistic for this Girl 😉 I think your Dear Debt letters are a fab idea and I can’t wait to write mine except I suck at poetry so please be patient! 😉

Reply
deardebt October 2, 2013 - 5:33 am

It’s still very optimistic for me. I don’t have some of the things you do, but I also have an addiction, er love of traveling and I know I can’t wait 4 or 5 years to do that. I am planning something pretty epic for my 30th birthday next year 🙂 Also, no pressure on the letter. It doesn’t have to be poetry either. It can be whatever you want it to be!

Reply
dojo October 2, 2013 - 7:57 am

We need to save a lot for our incoming baby, so it’s gonna be tough. But we’re doing OK, cannot complain. Whenever I feel like I’m in a mess, I just look BACK and try to remember where I come from. And it’s a relief to see that, not matter what life throws at you, you’re still doing well.

Keep up the good job and fight. Nobody said it’s easy to change your life as much as you did, but the results start showing 🙂

Reply
deardebt October 2, 2013 - 2:46 pm

Congrats about the baby on the way! Life is tough, but it’s also cyclical. Sometimes are rougher than others, but somehow you move back up again. I’ll keep fighting and I so appreciate your support and encouragement.

Reply
Isabella October 2, 2013 - 12:19 pm

I think it is amazing how far you have come. Keep fighting the good fight. It does help to write things down–the progress and goals. It helps to keep things in perspective. I bet when you get under $40,000, you will have a second wind!

Reply
deardebt October 2, 2013 - 2:48 pm

Once my debt is in the 30’s, I’ll be ecstatic. Still a lot, but 30k+ seems a lot more doable than 50+ or my original 81k in debt 🙁 Keeping things in perspective is key for me (and a constant battle and reevaluation).

Reply
Budget and the Beach October 2, 2013 - 2:15 pm

It’s funny how much I can relate to this post even though my “problem” is not debt, but more of the feeling of somehow being behind. It’s not to make you feel bad, but to let you know about that grass is greener thing so hopefully you don’t feel alone. My low feeling is not making enough money (to live in LA) and other life things like not having enough retirement, not being in a relationship, not traveling enough. Some days I want to say, “fuck it” and just charge a trip on my credit card, but thankfully I always talk myself down from the ledge and remember what stress that has caused me in the past. I’m glad you found an outlet (this blog) to express yourself, and glad we are friends not just online but in person too! 🙂

Reply
deardebt October 2, 2013 - 2:51 pm

I understand completely. I suffer from the grass is greener complex and also the nostalgization (I just made that up) of the past. That’s why it’s important for me to redefine success and evaluate my goals. My experiences and life are valid and it’s all up and down. I’m so glad I committed to blogging and that we met too! Your blog is absolutely a fav.

Reply
Anne @ Unique Gifter October 2, 2013 - 2:22 pm

Congratulations! It can be very nice to look back and see that things have actually improved a lot. If you want to guest post outside of the PF niche, let me know, I’m looking for people!

Reply
deardebt October 2, 2013 - 2:53 pm

Thanks, Anne. I will look into it and see if I have any good ideas. I think it’s also important to remember that you had the strength to get through those tough times and remember that next they come around.

Reply
Amanda October 2, 2013 - 3:12 pm

Does it help if I tell you that you have less debt that me? 🙂

I’m afraid to look at my debt repayment progress right now, because I haven’t been paying a penny towards it since May. But now that I have this new job, I’m going to start throwing money at it like mad so that I too can be proud of far I’ve come.

Reply
deardebt October 3, 2013 - 12:39 am

I only feel better insofar as it makes me feel not alone. You should be proud of how far you have come, and getting a new job! You will get there. We all have our own pace and it’s important to remember it’s not a race 🙂

Reply
Jaclyn October 2, 2013 - 4:19 pm

Nice goals for the rest of the year, I think everyone should know how to drive a stick shift! And you bring up a good point. Sometimes it’s better to look at how far we’ve come as opposed to how far we’ve left to go. Good luck!

Reply
deardebt October 3, 2013 - 12:40 am

My partner has a manual transmission vehicle that I can’t drive! I need to get with it and learn so we can actually share a car (although I bike most places). Thanks for the well wishes and for reading!

Reply
Isabella October 3, 2013 - 5:29 pm

We made sure all our four kids knew how to drive a stick. (I always drive cars with a stick shift for a little better mileage.) It has come in handy for all of them!

Reply
Brittany October 2, 2013 - 4:40 pm

Someday…SOMEDAY I will learn how to drive stick, too! But first I need to learn how to parallel park. Or I’ll keep letting J drive. 😉

Just know you are doing awesome!! And you have a lot of people rooting for you. I feel like you have inspired me to start blogging again soon and setting some goals. You know how life has been lately for me. 😉 I think I’m ready to start not feeling like I’m floundering. Anyway, we should get together sometime so I can update you with the last batch of life info, lol.

Reply
deardebt October 3, 2013 - 12:42 am

Being from LA, I must say I’m a master parallel parker. I just can’t seem to get on board with stick shift, but I better learn so I can drive R’s car! You are doing amazing given everything and yes you should blog about all of it and set some rad goals. We can be accountability partners.

Reply
DC @ Young Adult Money October 2, 2013 - 4:42 pm

Best of luck on making your first dollar! I’m sure you are well on your way. I didn’t make a dime until seven months, and that was after putting an incredible amount of time into the site. I also would like to read more but it’s so hard to find time. Best of luck finishing a book this month.

Reply
deardebt October 3, 2013 - 12:44 am

I’m just starting to put more time into it. It’s still kind of magic to me how people make money with a blog, but I am open to writing, and other things. If I didn’t spend so much time blogging and trying to hustle, I’d have more time to read. I am trying to decompress in the evenings by reading, but I usually only get in a few pages because I’m so tired.

Reply
Erin @ My Alternate Life October 2, 2013 - 6:08 pm

I need to write my Dear Debt letter for you! Waiting to be inspired, I’ve been having writer’s block issues lately.

It’s awesome how far you’ve come :). I totally hear you on the feelings of “stuckness”. Some days, it is really hard to keep going when my debt seems too big to pay off. That’s why the blogging community is so great, there’s always someone else trying to work through the same stuff. It’s really nice to have that support!

Reply
deardebt October 3, 2013 - 12:46 am

“Write from the heart”. Haha or whatever. No pressure, there is no deadline. Blogging is so great to keep each other accountable and not drown in the stuckness.

Reply
anna October 2, 2013 - 7:40 pm

Love this post and how motivated you are with your goals and progress! I didn’t know you were multilingual, that’s amazing! I’m curious to know what book you’re reading, I could use some recommendations. Best wishes on your goals, I know you can do it! Now time to check out what duolingo’s about. 😉

Reply
deardebt October 3, 2013 - 12:48 am

I’m bilingual at best (Spanish), but want to be multilingual! I took a semester of French and Portuguese, but that was 8 and 5 years ago respectively, so I am starting over. I would like to be fluent in all three languages in my lifetime. I’ve gotten a lot of my jobs because of my Spanish ability, so it doesn’t hurt! Duolingo is an awesome language learning tool, sort of like a video game. And it’s free!

Reply
Sandy October 2, 2013 - 6:03 pm

You’re doing great! WOOT! WOOT!

I just talked on today’s post (linked to in my name) about repaying $23K over the past year all while unemployed. It’s entirely possible to repay 5-figure debt in a reasonable time. I think you’re doing so, so well.

Reply
deardebt October 3, 2013 - 12:45 am

HOLY COW! Debt winner of the year award!! I can’t wait to check out the post. And thanks for your props 🙂

Reply
Sandy October 3, 2013 - 2:04 am

Not debt winner of the year, BUT a finalist for the 3rd straight year as the Best Debt Blog. I take my own advice.

Reply
Mackenzie October 3, 2013 - 3:10 am

Okay I also need to check and see what duolingo is all about! I only know a very small amount of Spanish and I would like to learn more.

Also you sing? Very, very cool 🙂

Reply
deardebt October 3, 2013 - 6:05 am

Duolingo is fun and awesome. And yes, I sing 🙂 I love it! I’m a karaoke master, but was also in choir for 10 years.

Reply
Michelle October 3, 2013 - 4:56 am

WOW! You’ve kicked some debt repaying a@@. What a huge accomplishment. Thanks for the Duolingo website. I will be checking it out for my Spanish and French as I tend to stay inside during the colder months (snowing in Denver on Friday!!) I think you will beat your debt free goal btw.

Reply
deardebt October 3, 2013 - 6:07 am

Duolingo is good to stay refreshed and keep practicing! I just finished my exercises for the night. I hope I beat my debt free goal, I’m just glad that it’s actually possible to achieve it at this point.

Reply
Amanda @ Passionately Simple Life October 3, 2013 - 1:38 pm

There have been many weeks where I have the same emotions as you have explained above. Just thinking that I’ve fallen so far behind and that everyone else around me is doing so much better. And those days I constantly have to remind myself that life’s a journey and we have our own routes we need to take. It’s okay that we are all at different points in our life and that we all have different experiences. We still have many years ahead of us. Congrats on getting this far and having the want to go even further.

Reply
deardebt October 3, 2013 - 2:23 pm

Thanks for your comment, Amanda. I’m glad you can relate. We all have to go at our own pace and live a life that makes us happy.

Reply
Holly@ClubThrifty October 3, 2013 - 1:46 pm

Eating out is one of our vices as well. I wish I had some advice on that one….ha!

Reply
deardebt October 3, 2013 - 2:23 pm

It’s too easy to justify because you have to eat! This week has been better….

Reply
Michelle October 3, 2013 - 4:36 pm

Haha I wish I could drive a stick. One of our cars is a stick and I get so nervous just thinking about it! I’ve only tried once though.

Good luck with your goals! 🙂

Reply
deardebt October 4, 2013 - 6:11 am

I’ve got to learn, but I’m also scared. It’s scary to learn from your partner, too.

Reply
Hayley @ A Disease Called Debt October 3, 2013 - 6:45 pm

You’ve done brilliantly so far 🙂 I’m sure you will meet your debt free goal by the time you’re 32 (or before even)! I need to write down my goals so I have them clear in my head but the main ones for me are to clear one credit card by Christmas, start a side hustle that I can make a regular income and like your goal, earn a few pounds from my blog!

Reply
deardebt October 4, 2013 - 6:12 am

We can do it! Kill the debt, increase the $. Start writing things out, it really helps.

Reply
Joe October 4, 2013 - 12:58 am

You have made a huge improvement over this past year. Just keep at it. I’m sure your debt will be gone faster than you expected. The refocused blog is awesome too. I’m sure you’ll make your first $1 very soon. 😉
You just need to grow traffic a bit more and find the right affiliate product. Maybe Credit Sesame or something like that.

Reply
deardebt October 4, 2013 - 6:13 am

Thanks for the kind words, Joe! Means a lot to me coming from you. I’m keeping at it and looking for some more adventures and opportunities.

Reply
Janine October 4, 2013 - 5:13 am

Congrats on paying over $10,000 in debt in under a year! That’s fantastic news. Sometimes we get stuck in everyday life and we kind of miss the progress we are making. It’s only when we take a step back that we realize just how far we’ve come! I look forward to seeing you kill more of your debt!

Reply
deardebt October 4, 2013 - 6:14 am

Yes, it’s important to zoom out. Usually I’m so close to reality that I can’t see the big picture. Thanks for stopping by and reading, Janine.

Reply
Eva @ Girl Counting Pennies October 4, 2013 - 10:04 pm

You’re doing great, M! Over $10000 in debt repayment over the period of 9 months … this is definitely something to be proud of! Good luck with your October goals, I’m sure you can make most (if not all) of them happen!

Reply
Pauline October 4, 2013 - 10:44 pm

Best of luck with your goals! I can help you with one if you’d like to write a guest post about your side hustles 🙂

Reply
Brian October 5, 2013 - 1:17 am

Looks like you’re doing quite well and have a great plan to pay off the debt. Keep up the good work and don’t get discouraged when things don’t go exactly as planned!

Reply
Link Love/Week in Review 10/6/13 | Budget and the Beach October 6, 2013 - 3:54 pm

[…] M from Dear Debt has a great point: It’s not where I am now, but how far I’ve come. […]

Reply

Leave a Comment

* By using this form you agree with the storage and handling of your data by this website.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More