Dear Debt, We Need to Talk

by Melanie

Hello! We have an amazing dear debt letter from Kirsten at Indebted Mom. She really did a great job capturing the essence of how draining this relationship can be and the difficult choices we have to make because of debt.

Kirsten blogs at Indebtedmom.com, discussing her faith and family’s large student loan burden, which has cost her an opportunity at being a stay-at-home mom. Kirsten is an actual rocket scientist who actually doesn’t know a lot of things people think rocket scientists should know. She loves lists, coffee, and NASCAR, but not necessarily in that order.

Dear Debt,

We need to talk. This letter will have to do because you are only ever around when it’s convenient for you.

The thing is, I am just not ready for a relationship. I never was. But I didn’t know it at the time. Let’s face it; you are pretty needy and your demands exhaust me mentally and physically and emotionally. I wish I’d known what a drain you’d be on my life when I signed up for you and when I married you. We’d probably still have started this relationship, but I would have ended it much, much sooner. 20 years… I didn’t even know what I wanted in 20 days back when we started this thing. How was I supposed to know that I wanted kids? That the career that you paid for – it wasn’t going to mean anything to me when my children came?

I don’t have time for anything serious, you know? I have these two precious girls and they need me. And I need more time with them. But you make me leave them, five days a week, in the hands of strangers. You make me lose moments that I’ll never get back. You cost me hugs and kisses and cuddles. Those are the things I want to have time for – those are really serious, wonderful things. All you are is a drain.

I need to find myself again – concentrate on my life. A relationship with you doesn’t help me get to where I know I need to be – home with those sweet girls. A relationship with you doesn’t help me serve others. It doesn’t help me be the best wife and mother. All it makes me is an overworked, stressed-out version of the best me.

I think it’s best if we just don’t see each other anymore. Too bad you’re a stalker.

The next time I write you, you won’t have any power over me. No claims in my life. We will be 100% through. I don’t want you around me or my family. And I want you especially to stay far away from my girls.

Sincerely,

Kirsten

Melanie
Latest posts by Melanie (see all)

20 comments

Kara August 28, 2014 - 5:32 am

Such a powerful letter, Kirsten!

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Kirsten August 28, 2014 - 12:46 pm

Thanks, Kara 🙂

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canadianbudgetbinder August 28, 2014 - 5:42 am

Sounds to me like a letter taking back control, very good.

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Kirsten August 28, 2014 - 12:47 pm

I’m so thankful for the opportunity to post this, because it was empowering. I do feel more in control and have some plans for taking my financial future back!

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Robin August 28, 2014 - 6:22 am

Aww, my heart goes out to you! Little ones have a way of stealing your heart and you really don’t know how that happens until you have them….then your whole perspective on life changes! The good news is that your kids know they are loved and even if you can’t stay at home with them right now, you are still providing them with a loving and financially stable home.

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Kirsten August 28, 2014 - 12:48 pm

Thanks, Robin, I need that reminder that they know I love them and that I’m still being a good mom.

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debs@debtdebs August 28, 2014 - 6:23 am

You told him, Kirsten! Hate that friggin’ debt monster.

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Kirsten August 28, 2014 - 12:49 pm

Right?! What a dirt bag.

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Mrs. Frugalwoods August 28, 2014 - 7:19 am

Wow, Kirsten, that is a powerful letter. I’m so sorry that you’re not able to be home with your girls right now. I hope that when the time comes that you can stay home, it’ll be all sweeter for you. Best of luck on this journey and please keep blogging about it! Your words are an inspiration.

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Kirsten August 28, 2014 - 12:50 pm

I will definitely appreciate my stay-home time with them even more, when it comes. I will have worked hard to get there!

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Kassandra @ More Than Just Money August 28, 2014 - 7:53 am

It’s crazy how debt can impact negatively on so many aspects of our lives. Good job Kirsten on working hard to kick Debt’s @ss to the curb!

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Kirsten August 28, 2014 - 12:51 pm

For real – it’s not just the financial stress. Debt will infiltrate everything, some way, some how.

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Shannon @ Financially Blonde August 28, 2014 - 11:51 am

This is an awesome letter Kirsten and you definitely hit the nail on the head with how emotionally draining a relationship with debt can be.

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Kirsten August 28, 2014 - 12:52 pm

Thanks, Shannon. I can only imagine how much freer I’ll feel without this weight around my neck!

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Lance @ Healthy Wealthy Income August 28, 2014 - 3:08 pm

Awesome and powerful! Debt is pretty much a one way relationship. I think we’ve all been there at one point in our life whether monetarily or with a relationship. It’s exhausting.

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Laurie @thefrugalfarmer August 28, 2014 - 4:24 pm

Kirsten, wonderfully put. Can’t wait to be there to cheer you on when you celebrate that day of debt free.

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Kirsten August 28, 2014 - 5:51 pm

So true – one sided relationships are not fulfilling at all. We often waste too much time trying to turn them around, when it’s better to walk away. Can’t exactly walk away from debt (though you can stop getting further in). Even more exhausting!

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Stefanie @ The Broke and Beautiful Life August 29, 2014 - 4:46 am

That’s some seriously rockstar empowerment there. Congrats Kirsten.

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Melanie August 29, 2014 - 1:55 pm

So proud of her! This letter is so moving and powerful!

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Jay @ ThinkingWealthy.com August 29, 2014 - 2:51 pm

It’s a long road but stick with it. Good job writing this to reaffirm your commitment and simply not just saying it to yourself.

Jay

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