Hi guys! I’ve missed you all! Last week I wrote a bunch for other sites, worked a bar mitzvah, and had a lot going on at my day job. I can’t wait to get back to writing here, but today we have a fantastic dear debt letter from Debt Debs. Enjoy!
In her words, “I am a fifty-something wife and mother and new grandmother, blogging my way to retirement on a cash strapped entertainment budget. I used to hate managing my finances, working hard all day and not having to do more when I got home. Consequently, I had “my head in the sand” ignoring our financial situation until 2 years ago when we had amassed $235,600 worth of consumer debt. If you feel bad about your financial situation, jump on board ~ misery loves company!! I’m interested in sharing ideas to keep my motivation up as we wrestle this debt monster to the ground.”
I know now that I shouldn’t have ignored you, as you lurked and plotted all those years. You slowly gained foothold with every trip to Costco (such great deals) and seemingly benign LCBO* wine stops (a girl’s gotta live!)
All necessities, or so you said, laughing encouragingly. “You work too hard. This will make your life easier” you told me, complimenting me on my savvy shopping eye to find the household items we’d done without for so long but now suddenly needed. “Plus you’ll eat healthier” you added, clinching the deal. Anyone wanna buy a fruit dehydrator?
You also encouraged me to get new clothes for that business trip. What a waste! Like anyone would notice, even if it did matter. After one trip, they were stuffed in my closet with the other multitude of clothes you insisted I needed last trip around the world. I had so many clothes, that I forgot to empty a drawer in India when I was packing to return! At least those clothes found a good home with someone who needed them in India!!
“You deserve it!” you flattered me about that cute little bag. “And while you’re at it, you should get those matching shoes.” Like who matches their purse with their shoes these days?! #Dork
But do you wanna know what makes me the most mad about you, Debt?
It’s the fact that so much of you is interest. Not stuff, just $. Someone else’s $. Like the credit card company or the bank’s.
I also hate that you really scared me. When you came out of your hiding place and said “Booyah!” I ran for shelter from your evil cousin named Lender. I think Mortgage is his first name. I felt compelled to put your fire out ASAP, only to replace it with a smoldering pile of rubbish. Much larger than it needed to be. If I hadn’t freaked, maybe I could have negotiated some of your interest charges away. You’re a bully.
Debt: “No I’m not”
Debt Debs: “You are”
Debt: “You’re a bully!”
Debt Debs: “I may be stupid, but I’m not a bully”
Debt: “You’re a stupid bully!!”
Debt Debs: “Listen, I’m not a bully, and you’re not even half as smart as I am”
Debt: “Am so”
Debt Debs: “How can you be? I am two of you, and ‘s’ comes before ‘t’, so don’t even go there”
Debt: “I know you are but what am I?”
Debt Debs: “I regret the day I ever let you into my life …”
You can’t win a conversation with debt. You can’t win anything with debt.
So long Debt. Don’t let the door hit ya on the way out.
*Liquor Control Board of Ontario