September 21, 2016

Hey everyone! We have a great dear debt letter from Monica. Monica took on student loans for college, but didn’t find the career job that she had hoped for afterward. Instead, she flipped burgers for minimum wage, while living with her parents and taking care of her baby. Eventually, she would find the job she had been waiting for as an accounting clerk, and is now living with her fiancé and their daughter. While they both work in their fields, they are struggling with car payments, credit card debt, and student loan payments in order to move out into a home of their own. But today, she is taking a stand against debt. 

 


 

Dear Debt,

When I imagined my life at 30, I expected living in my own place, married, maybe a kid or two. I did not imagine living with my mother in law who is NOT my biggest fan because I couldn’t buy a house. I did not imagine dreading payday because all it means to me is sitting at my dining room table writing checks.

I did not imagine having to decide between buying that yogurt my daughter loves like most women love chocolate, and buying an extra loaf of bread so I could make enough sandwiches for my work lunches.

I never wanted to be that mom that says “I can’t take you to the zoo because I don’t have the money,” but here we are. I pay my bills, but it always feels like a pinch, and with vision therapy starting, it’s only going to get tighter.

I knew that going in, but how do you tell your child, “you’re going to have to have a lazy eye forever because we can’t afford to pay for the therapy that could fix it”? You don’t. You grit your teeth, cut your spending wherever you can, and you make it work.

I’ve grown tired of you over a long period of time, but this is the last straw. I’ve cried myself to sleep too many nights. I’ve fought with the love of my life more times than I care to admit over you. I’ve found myself wishing I’d have a heart attack and die so my life insurance could pay you off and give my family a fresh start.  Nothing in life is worth me wanting to die just to get rid of it, and that includes you.

I’ve been through unemployment, abuse, and being a single parent. I’ve been though anorexia and suicidal tendencies. If I’ve survived all of that, I can survive you. I will survive you. I guess I just needed to hear myself say it.

I’m taking a crazy step to make this happen. It won’t be be today or tomorrow, but one day I’m finally going to give you the swift kick in the butt you deserve. And I’m not coming back. I’m going to have my off days when I’m not sure of myself. I’m going to have days when I’ll scream into my pillow. But I will not quit. I will survive you.

Packing my emotional bags,

Monica

Melanie

Melanie is a freelance writer currently living in Portland, Oregon. She is passionate about education, financial literacy, and empowering people to take control of their finances. She writes about breaking up with debt, freelancing, and side hustle adventures at DearDebt.com.

Currently she puts more than 50% of her income towards debt, while living a frugal, fun life. In addition to her love of personal finance, art and music, she is also a karaoke master. Follow the adventure @DearDebtBlog.

12 responses to “Dear Debt, I Can Survive You”

  1. Miranda says:

    Powerful! You’ve got this! You’re right you can survive debt! Kick its butt!

  2. Miss Mazuma says:

    BOOM – Debt just got served!! Good for you. Keep your head up and keep being the awesome mom that you are. 🙂

  3. Tyler says:

    Great letter, so so powerful. I have thought many times about something happening to me and how much easier that would make it for my wife financially, then I feel bad because I know she would rather have me then the money.

  4. charlie says:

    You have my vote! Good luck! 🙂

  5. Joseph says:

    This is the first I have heard of these events. It would have been good to catch this in LA. Oh well, maybe next year.

  6. Crystal says:

    This is a powerful and inspiring letter from Monica. I love how she has taken a stand against debt because yes, it is a lofty goal but children can give us a lot of motivation. Sending prayers and good vibes her way!

  7. Wow you sound amazing. You are definitely going to kick debt to the curb and overcome these obstacles like every other one that has come your way.

    Keep it up!!!
    Mustard Seed Money recently posted…Who Wants to be a Millionaire?My Profile

  8. Raj says:

    Great post Melanie, i must admit a fact that you hustle everyday and you never gave up. You are inspiration for many with the posts which are really powerful and full of motivation. Even I was at the phase when i couldn’t even earn my livelihood everyday. But things gradually changed when I made up my mind that I’m not going to die like this. Now I’m settled and paid all of my debts from hardwork. Only thing which worked for me is balanced spending with more earnings.

    Keep writing more articles.

    Have a good day
    Raj recently posted…List of 100+ Quality Commentluv Enabled and General Finance blogs for Blog CommentingMy Profile

  9. Gustav says:

    Your post hit it right on. In my business, I see so many individuals in debt over their eyeballs. Student loans, especially, are taking their toll. Graduates can’t get a job in their career field & take minimum wage to survive. The ones that bite the bullet & work hard to get rid of debt are to be commended. Very tough times.
    Gustav recently posted…How Free Tax Filing Will Benefit YouMy Profile

  10. Morgan says:

    Saving money and paying off debt is a long and tiring process, but the freedom you have once it’s over with is worth it. Great work! Thanks so much for sharing this story!

  11. Kick its butt and get your life back! You can DO IT!!! I totally get crying over debt – we made progress but were so far from doing a ll that we could this month that it makes me want to kick myself. Basically, all of our haphazard spending meant we added another month to our payoff date – which is at least two years ahead of us. You. Can. Do. This – despite setbacks. It’s possible!!!! So glad you shared the letter and got it off your chest. Now get it out of your life!!!

  12. Nothing like a child depending on you to focus your priorities.

    Congrats on taking the steps you need to take to win your battle with debt.
    Jack @ Enwealthen recently posted…Why Do Banks Charge What They Charge, Pay What They Pay, And Generally Act Like Banks?My Profile

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