When I was a teenager, I use to fantasize about dating a musician. I love music and used to go to shows a lot, and musicians seemed like the best kind of artists and poets. Music is poetry, craftsmanship, technique, stage presence and so much more!
In short, I love all things music.
And as life would have it, I’ve ended up with a musician as my partner! He’s a very talented musician, composer and audio engineer. Primarily he plays an upright bass in a jazz band that plays around town, and is an audio engineer for some of the shows coming through town.
While I am supportive of him and his career, there is no denying how NOT frugal it is to be a musician. Holy heck, the equipment is expensive! The upright bass alone is several thousand dollars. Sound recording equipment and software can also add up pretty quickly. It’s a hobby and profession where things constantly need to be replaced. New bass strings, new tuners, new software, new mics, new gear, etc. It’s an investment of time and money.
If you want to be a professional, you need to have professional gear. This has been something that is constantly looming over our heads. For the past few years while he was in school, there have been a few music related expenditures, but I know it’s only going to get worse. While I adopt minimalism, his profession requires him to have a certain amount of possessions. We have separate finances, so this doesn’t necessarily affect my money. However, it does affect our priorities, goals and dreams in life. For example, I always want to throw any money towards my debt or travel, while he feels inclined to replace old items or update software.
If you think it’s expensive to be a musician, it’s also expensive to date a musician. When we first started dating, I used to go to all of his gigs. I was the good groupie girlfriend, always supporting….and spending way too much money! While I always got in for free, most of the locations are bars, restaurants or clubs with drink minimums. Spending three hours watching music and drinking, will kill your budget! After that, more often than not, food is involved, because I am trying to downplay the fact that I’ve been drinking for three hours.
Late last year is when I decided that it just wasn’t good for me to continue going to see all of his gigs. I’ve decided to only go to gigs when they are at places I haven’t been to, or somewhere I really want to go to. Because let’s face it, not all of the gigs are great. It’s like anything; some are really good, and some aren’t. It’s also hard to date a musician because of the schedule. While he’s not on tour or anything, we have completely opposite schedules. I work 9-5 during the week, he works 4-6 nights a week. He comes home when I’m asleep, and I leave while he’s still asleep. It’s kind of depressing at times, but we make time to have a date night at least once a week and have a good time.
It’s going to be a balance moving forward as we both get settled into our respective careers and interests. I hope that for both of our sakes that things become more lucrative for both of us—I think that will soften the pain of being apart, because in addition to lack of time, we’re not flush with the funds (yet)! One thing is for sure though: I love him so much and he inspires me. I know that we can move forward together and figure all this crazy business out. To us, it’s just another adventure!
Are you dating someone who has a totally not frugal career choice? Are you in a totally not frugal career choice?