dear debt letter

Hello debt fighters and dreamers! Today’s dear debt letter comes from Beth. Beth is a 65-year-old retired teacher from Youngstown, Ohio, aspiring to pay off her debt by 2020 (if not sooner). She is a widow that learned money doesn’t last forever.

—

Dear Debt,

I’m done playing victim to you! You have controlled my money and my freedom most of my adult life and I will not let you control any more of my money or my freedom!

I’ve struggled with you through my first marriage, being a single parent, and I finally broke away from you with my second, financially-savvy husband. We were in rough shape in the beginning, and we used you too much.

It was the only way to survive raising our blended family. Then we were able to buy a house, and I felt we were in good shape financially.

Student loans were paid off, credit card debt was paid off, we paid off a loan for our backyard improvements in a new house, and we traveled to see our children and grandchildren.

Yes, life was looking up. I was making good money as a teacher, and my husband was making good money in the business world. So, we were rid of you once and for all!

Then, the unexpected happened. My husband was diagnosed with cancer and it was already
metastasized. During the eight months before he passed, he made sure the paperwork was in order.

He showed me how to maintain my lifestyle with the decreased income his death would bring. He showed me how to change light bulbs, light a furnace in the garage, and so many things he knew I needed to learn. I inherited the bill-paying-debt-reducing spreadsheet, too, but I didn’t follow it.

I was blessed with life insurance and I wanted to share that with my family in any way that I could. I traveled to visit them, I treated them to material things that don’t mean anything, and I spent that money trying to find the “happy” again that I had with my husband. It didn’t work.

I traveled to Arizona to be with his sister and her husband, and I bought a condo as an investment. It was too soon (nine months after my husband passed), but because I paid you in full every month from my nest egg, I had excellent credit and got a home loan without a problem! Debt, I was even able to furnish my condo thanks to you.

Then, sitting at home 5 months later, I thought I needed a condo just for me, so I bought another condo across the street from the first condo. The HOA fees and yearly community fees were outrageous, and I had two condos to pay for. The rental income didn’t cover much, so I went through more of my nest egg with the monthly condo expenses.

I was living in Ohio, but I traveled to Arizona a lot. I told myself that the flights into Las Vegas were cheaper, so I spent some time and a lot of money in Las Vegas before driving to Arizona to spend time at my “Me-Condo.”

I was very popular with the casinos in both Vegas and Arizona, gambling, charging and cash-advancing with every trip. It turns out it was YOUR “happy” I was living.

I never found my “happy,” but my journey to find it ended earlier this year. I ran out of money and now I live paycheck to paycheck. I charge things to maintain my lifestyle for a while, then I realized it was just spiraling out of control. I need to change the way I think about money and you, Debt.

I started looking on Pinterest and found out what a “side hustle” was so I joined Proofreadanywhere.com. I started the course, and I love to proofread. I also like to write, so when I followed a link on Proofreadanywhere.com it led me to Contena, which is a writing/publishing course. I joined that, too. I purchased the suggested books, joined the organizations, and started the coursework.

But the funny thing is that you, Debt, got in the way again! I can’t focus on my coursework for either class because you get ALL my attention!

On another link, I read about Own Your Money and Money Makers Academy (MMA). I joined MMA
because I thought, “This is the program I need!” I need to find out how to get you off my back for good!

Do you see a pattern here? I am charging the fees for these classes, so I can learn how to make more money to ditch you, Debt. Well, MMA is doing one thing in the very beginning of the program to cause a mindset shift about you.

They are teaching me how to put YOU, Debt, on paper, own you, then just do the numbers to fix it and get rid of you. No emotional attachment to YOU. This is just what I need to get you OUT of my life forever.

My goal is to be free of you (without charging) more in the next 18 months. I’ll be done with you for good and you won’t get me back again. My plan is to “own my money” and not give you a cent!

So, goodbye, Debt! I’d say it was nice knowing you, but it hasn’t been nice at all. I will continue to declare my anti-Debt attitude to anyone I meet so that one day, you will be no more. That is my prayer and the promise I’m making to myself today.

Sincerely never yours again,
Beth

Hello debt fighters and dreamers! Today’s dear debt letter comes from Vercountess Hendricks, a 51-year-old still paying back student loan debt. Her goal is to be able to retire and not be saddled with student loan debt, credits cards, signature loans, car payments, and mortgage payments. Her goal is to retire within 5 to 7 years without being chased by debt.

—

Dear Debt,

Today is my last day dealing with you, you have saddled my back and rode me like a wet horse and I will not tolerate it any longer. I know before I close my eyes forever you will not be something I leave my loved ones behind to deal with.

I am no longer your slave of my emotional issues with money. I look forward to saying goodbye forever and good riddance to my permanent backache.

My dear debt you will not keep me angry and insecure any longer. I will smile at your defeat of my winning in this life I live today and for the next 50 years.

To this, I bid you a farewell in the near future,

Vercountess

Hey debt fighters! Today’s dear debt letter is juicy 🙂 The letter comes from Jen, a mom with two intense passions: save money and save the planet. These devotions naturally led her to create Green Baby Deals, which can be found at greenbabydeals.com.

—

Dear Debt,

I was cheating on you. I had money, lots of it, but I wasn’t ready to get rid of you.

I thought I was smart; I bought and sold some real estate at just the right time. I had money in the bank and your interest rate was so low that it just didn’t matter. I continued to make monthly payments on you because you were so cheap.

Then we finally broke up. It was long overdue, and it gave me a piece of freedom I had never experienced before.

I have a family now, which includes two small children who already have a college fund started. I will teach them to work hard, save, spend and give. I will also teach them the dangers of you. They will hopefully never come near you.

Thank you for teaching me such an invaluable lesson that I can now pass on to my children.

Jen

Hey debt fighters! We have another great dear debt letter to inspire you to break up with debt. This letter is from Sarah, a 26-year-old experiential educator currently working and living in Virginia. She is working her way to a fulfilled debt-free life. 

—

Dear Debt,

The thought of you completely overwhelms me some days, and then others I feel like I can start to grasp my thoughts around you. Today is a particularly hard day. I feel like there isn’t a light at the end of the tunnel. I can’t seem to see it. I have wrapped my self-worth and my net worth into the same thought. I know this isn’t true, though I am really struggling to get past it.

You make me feel like I’m not good enough, and that I don’t deserve to be happy or enjoy life anymore. You are one of the reasons I ended a relationship, moved away from a place that I loved, and constantly think that I am not good or deserving enough of people, experiences, and things.

I don’t have a plan to magically erase you, and know that our relationship will continue for some years to come. I am determined that I will amicably end this relationship in the future though. One day I will be rid of you. Until that day, I will actively remind myself each day that you don’t define me. My self-worth is not attached to you. I am enough, and I am an asset to this tiny spinning globe in our big wide universe. I care about others, and others care about me. You do not change that exchange of human connection.

I cannot let myself be defined or weighed down by you anymore. My life is but a candle flicker in this big, long infinity, and I don’t want to snuff it out early because of how overwhelmed you can make me feel.

Looking forward to the day we amicably part,

Sarah

Hey debt fighters! We have a heartfelt, vulnerable dear debt letter this week from Lynn. Please be kind to yourself and remember you are not alone. You are not a loan. If you need help, please seek support. 

—

Dear Debt,

Of all the weight I carry yours is the heaviest. You take my breath at night when I’m trying to sleep.  You occupy my thoughts constantly. You remind me I have no worth, no hope, and no future. You make me bitter and angry inside at friends who are in better financial shape than I am. In January you almost killed me.

I’m putting the weight down. I cannot carry it anymore. I have no plan and my financial situation is worse now than ever, but I’m choosing to put the backpack of boulders you’ve had me carry across my shoulders on the floor.

I pray for a miracle daily and that you’ll disappear from my life. I ask the universe that a ton of money might appear in my mailbox and maybe it will, maybe it won’t.

Regardless, you won’t define me anymore. I cannot give you my happiness or my self-worth for one more moment. You will not take an ounce of joy from me.  You are just a number.

Sincerely,
Lynn

Hey debt fighters! We have another dear debt letter for you from Meg. Meg is a financial independence convert and travel hacker who can be found on Tumbler (MegansMadTravel) exploring the hits and misses of flying for nearly free with only a backpack. Her 2018 goal, to visit 12 states in 12 months has blossomed into international travel and for 2019 she looks forward to finally completing her book on finance, debt, and personal value.

—

Dear Debt,

It’s been a five year road with you and three years since I started keeping a journal to recount my journey. But in three short months I will have paid off $32k (and more in interest) of credit card debt and I am both excited and at a loss as I don’t know who I’ll be without you.

Debt, you’ve impacted the career choices I made. You’ve forced me to be creative, to step outside my comfort zone and to think outside the box. This year, even though I was almost entirely focused on you, I was able to travel, largely for free. You made me search for other ways to live my dreams, and as such I found an entire community of people.

You set me on FIRE debt. I have always wanted to work less, to live more and in paying you off I found Financial Independence, I found Early Retirement. You changed my world with travel hacking, and you gave me the tools I needed to forge a new path.

For years I thought of you as an albatross, the weight keeping me down. But I want to thank you debt, for all that you’ve given me. Even though now, I’m not sorry to say, our time together is over.

Meg

Hey debt fighters! We have another dear debt letter for you from Marly. Marly has $46,000 in student loan debt. She currently works three jobs, one being a Brand Ambassador and is focused on paying off debt. 

—

Dear Debt,

We have been together for 13 years now. 13 years! You are my longest relationship to date, but it is time to let you go. Our relationship has been stale for a while; I only give you the bare minimum so that you would not bother me. I just have never been in the mood to give you more.

I kept you around by giving you my crumbs and you stuck around. Month after month. Year after year. I wanted to enjoy my life outside of you. But I am now realizing that I can’t live like this.

I can’t fully enjoy my life with you around. It’s started to feel like a one-way relationship; you get your pleasure and your fun from all the things that “interest” you and I was stuck footing the bill. Month after month you do this to me. You take, take, take.

Don’t get me wrong. I do appreciate the fact that my babies would not be in my life because of you. Job, Skills, and Competence would not be here today if it wasn’t for you. I love them very much. But you are draining me. It’s time to say goodbye, once and for all.

I received the final divorce papers today stating I am paid in full. This means we are through. I have no legal obligation to see you again.

Sincerely,

Marly Rateau

Hey debt fighters! We have another dear debt letter from Free. Check out her blog. 

—

Dear Debt,

This is the first time that I’ve acknowledged you but you have been in my life for almost 2 years. At first, I loved you. I needed you. I had no job, no money and a baby. I just finished undergraduate school and thought that graduate school was just the next step in my life.

I was fortunate enough to graduate undergrad without you, but I refused to let my mother pay for another semester of school. So I decided to take out 20k of you. You-Student loan debt. I told myself that you would cover my tuition and my child’s nursery tuition for an entire year (emphasis on entire).

Yes, you paid for my degree but you only paid for 5 months of my child’s tuition. Apparently, tuition wasn’t the only thing you paid for. Where did that money go? What about the other 5 months? Oh, I recall now.

You went to plane tickets that you didn’t use. To Chinese food. To pizza. To subways. To clothes. To lending money (without it being returned) And 1000 of you went to a “boyfriend” to help pay for his rent and to bail him out of jail.

You see debt. You are more than just “borrowed money” You are a reflection of me. Spending money that I didn’t have to feel loved. To feel validated. Just to end up feeling BROKE.

But I did have your interest. $2000 worth of interest. Your initial 20k turned into over 22k. So this is a break up letter debt. I packed peanut butter sandwiches to work, sacrificed clothes and anything else to pay you off. Now you are down to $9100.

It feels like it took forever to get down to 4 digits. This calls for a celebration. A free celebration of course. Now I’m wiser. Now I know that I have to be INTENTIONAL with how I use you and money. You debt are not all bad. You have a good side to you.

You give people the opportunity to get things that they could not get on their own and much faster. Debt. Money. Thank you for helping me get a Masters degree at 23 and land an Amazing first job. But our relationship. You and I. Are over!

-Freefromfoolishness

(Editor’s note: Free is now debt-free! Congrats!) 

Hey debt fighters! It’s been a while but we’re back. Here’s an honest and refreshing dear debt letter from Amy. Amy is a mom to three teenage girls, a graduate student, a yoga teacher, and a somatic movement therapist. Amy feels blessed to have learned from so many wildly talented healing professionals and passes on their knowledge to lift others. She lives in Silver Spring MD.

Dear Debt,

I am shocked by how brazen I’ve become with you. Taunting you. Pushing boundaries. Just waiting for something to happen. Something BAD to happen.

When will you get me back? I fear the payback…

Maybe that’s why I keep taunting you. Maybe I like living in fear. Maybe living with you, debt, is like living in fear. And my nervous system is used to that. It likes feeling unsettled, and unbalanced. That is what it knows. My nervous system doesn’t know what safety feels like. I don’t know what safety feels like.  I only know how to perpetuate insecurity and fear, and I use you as a big anchor to keep me in that place. Weighted down by debt and fear and insecurity. What a familiar feeling, so familiar that I have confused it with comfortable.  

I think it’s time to try a new relationship. This may seem sudden, but it’s been a long time coming. It’s time that we go our separate ways, debt.  I’m finished giving you my time and energy.  

I’m ready to feel strong and safe now. I’m ready to fly. I’m ready to feel light. I’m ready to accept love. I’m ready to receive.

Amy

Hey debt fighters! We have a brand spankin’ new dear debt letter from Carrie. Carrie lives in Brooklyn and is a dancer, lover of the sunshine and beauty & a freelance enrollment consultant. 

—

Dear Debt,

Hello dear friend of mine.

I have had a strange relationship with you.

It’s funny because I didn’t even know we had this strange relationship until now.

You’ve helped me through a lot of amazing times in my life.

Because of you, I have gotten my health coaching certification, jumped in full force to Goddess Training with the SWA, and then got to live my first real entrepreneurial gig as an enrollment specialist.

I am so grateful to which you have given me these enormous opportunities in my life.

But you’ve also unseemingly have been a tie down in my emotional well being. The shame, guilt, and fear I have faced lodged up in my body because of you has been devastating on my well being. You’ve kept me small, in hiding, and not truly sharing my gifts and talents in the world, because I have used you as a crutch, something that I can always lean back on.

I am ready to break-up with you and move onto my financially prosperous life. One in which I am smart, confident, and powerful when it comes to my money- how I earn it, and how I spend it. One in which I feel the freedom of working on projects that are my own, traveling the world, speaking, writing books, and dancing like it’s no one’s business. Living a life big, beautifully, and boldly- the life that I deserve to live.

So I thank you for which you have given me. I thank you for this.

And now, it is time for us to part. So that I can be independent, free, and at peace.

I wish you well,

With love,

Carrie