I was scared about how tonight was going to go. We had plans to have sushi with some friends that were in town from Austin and because they are leaving tomorrow we couldn’t say no. There were 6 of us, and one gentlemen kept ordering for all of us and I kept recalling the birthday budget buster situation. I tried to politely imply that we were ordering out of our price range and then the very pushy man just said, ‘well we are splitting it between 6 of us, so it shouldn’t be that bad.”
I didn’t know what to say and I didn’t want to be a pain. I already feel like a pain when my friends invite me out and I have to say no because I am busy working, or even worse I am out and don’t want to buy anything because I’m watching my money. So I went along with it and enjoyed myself, hoping I wouldn’t kick myself by the time the bill came.
When the bill finally came, one of the other guys quietly took the bill and paid the whole thing. THE WHOLE THING. We had FOUR bottles of sake (small ones) and a ton of sushi. I imagine the bill was at least $200, if not more. We don’t know this person very well and we tried to pay, but he was insistent it was his treat. From what I know, he works at Nike and makes very good money. He let us know that money isn’t a big deal to him and it makes him happy to be able to spread the love and share good times with his friends.
I wanted to cry! I had an amazing night with friends, eating sushi, drinking sake and having fun. I realized this is another reason I really want to be debt free. I want to generously drop any amount of money on my friends or strangers, just because. JUST BECAUSE. BECAUSE I CAN.
How amazing would that feel? To not worry about money and to let your money truly work for you? To buy experiences and not things? To truly help friends out and share what you can? I cannot wait for that day.
Because of tonight, I am more inspired to get out of debt sooner and repay all the generosity bestowed upon me. To make that happen, I came home and threw an additional $350 at my debt. I’ve paid off $1650 this month, which is the most I’ve paid off since February.
Are you in a position where you can be generous? If not, how do you want to be generous when you are debt free?
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36 comments
That’s great! I have done that a few times when I was making good money and my friends didn’t have much. It’s great to be able to treat friends to a nice time once in a while.
I’m poor now though and these days my well off friends can treat me. 🙂
You have been so generous with the blogger happy hours! You are a great guy. I honestly believe we pay what we can and things get repaid to us at different times. I can’t wait until I am in that position. I help out with small things when I can. You should enjoy people taking you out now 🙂 See you Wednesday!
That’s such a great thing to strive for! I’m not in a place where I can afford that kind of generosity either, but I’d love to be able to get the bill at dinner without even worrying about it.
Right? It’s not a big deal to some people and such a simple thing.
Good job on your debt repayment! That’s awesome that your friend picked up the bill.
Thank you! It feels good to put that much money towards my debt (sorta).
Wow that is very nice of that person to pay the bill. I would like to be at that place sometime soon as well.
Yes, a very generous person! You will be side-hustle queen! And I also believe generosity comes back to you, so it’s all good. I want to strive to be more generous in the ways that I can.
That is SO NICE! I love being able to take care of my friends when I’m able because it’s the Best Feeling Ever. (Which reminds me that I never got to buy you a drink last week, so I’m getting your beer tomorrow, dammit!) I think it is AWESOME that you paid off such a large chunk of debt!! So proud of you!!!
Also, that guy ordering for everyone and completely ignoring your requests to NOT…is an asshole. Or maybe had an asshole moment, but that is so totally rude.
Hehe you don’t need to buy me a drink! It does feel great to put that much towards debt. Woo hoo! That guy had a serious tone and it was like, ‘whoa, who are you?”. Luckily the other guy cancelled him out 😉
Wow! That’s so nice. I feel the same way, I can’t wait until I can say “Don’t worry about it, I got it.”
That day will be so sweet!! I want to throw a party when I’m debt free and buy EVERYONE drinks!
Wow, that is so nice of the guy to do that! I tend to do that sometimes (though in way smaller amounts), and though it delays my debt repayment, it’s worth it especially when someone is going through a particularly rough time. I have no doubt you’ll pay it forward, as well! Awesome job with the debt repayment, that is substantial!!
Definitely will pay it forward in ways that I can! It’s so important, and I don’t mind it delaying debt repayment. I mean, with payments like that, even $100 isn’t really going to set me back by a month!
Awesome! I’m definitely not in a position to be generous with money, but I donate my time to a couple organizations. I once went out to eat with my husband before we were married and a couple anonymously paid our bill! I want to be able to do that!
That happened to me and my partner too! I wrote about it here: https://deardebt.com/random-acts-of-kindness-and-paying-it-forward/
Time is also a wonderful thing to give! It means so much to people.
I think that’s awesome your friend’s generousity inspired you to go home and pay an extra $350 towards your debt! Right now, J is very generous towards me while I pay off debt and I can’t wait until the day I am debt free so I can be just as generous back towards him 🙂
He is getting the love of his life in return right? 😉 It’s always a give and take in relationships and you will definitely pay him back. You probably already have with your love. We can’t really quantify things like this, because as the guy said, money is no big deal to him. It’s all a currency.
Wow, that is great! Nice to have such a positive motivation factor for paying down debt. I’m fortunate not to be in debt, but I’m not always so generous. I do get a bit crazy about Christmas and birthdays though and give over the top gifts because I love making people happy.
That’s great! I am bad and don’t really buy gifts for my friends 🙁 I will take them out here and there, or surprise them with something, but I’m bad with official things like that. But we all do what we can!
You can still be generous towards your family and friends from time to time despite the fact you are in debt. You don’t have to pick up a bill at an expensive restaurant or throw some serious cash towards something super expensive. It can be as little as a bar of your friend’s favourite chocolate or paying for their coffee. I do it from time to time (mostly chocolate, coffee is too expensive LOL) and I always remember when others do it for me 🙂
Those little things really add up and show you care. I often get friends coffee or breakfast sometimes. When you have extra to give, why not?
Wow! What a wonderful, wonderful friend. I hate it when people don’t listen to me. It makes me feel like I’m invisible ;(
I felt pretty invisible with that guy. He made me feel even worse about my financial situation, like I was bumming everyone out. But kindness ruled out in the end.
Awesome! Whenever I have dinner with friends I like to make it clear in advance that I’m paying (unless the other guy offers). That way, no akward moments.
That’s nice to give people a heads up!
that was really nice of him! If only you knew that at the beginning of the meal, you might not have sat and wondered and worried what the bill was going to be at the end of the night. 🙂 I’m not in a position to do that either right now. I might be able to buy my friend a birthday drink or I at least try to cook them dinner at my house, but I could not cover a whole bill like that.
I think generosity comes in many different forms and we do what we can! Someday I will be in that position and I can’t wait.
Back when I was even poorer than I am now (college), it sucked not being able to buy a round of even dollar beers for everyone! I love the feeling of being able to grab someone’s dinner, buy a friend a drink every once in a while, or give back to charity even. I still have a long way to go though before I can do something that generous — but same for me, one more reason I can’t wait to be debt free!
It’s horrible feeling like you can’t even budge by a dollar! It makes you appreciate when things are better 🙂 I agree, it’s great motivation.
I love your new website – it’s so pretty! It’s my first time over since you moved your site.
That’s so nice when something like that happens! Especially after you were stressing a little bit about how much it would cost. I agree that it’s difficult to negotiate some of these situations when people are being really pushy. Awkward all the way around.
Glad you made it over and that you like my site 🙂 It means a lot to me. It’s nice because it’s unexpected. I can’t wait to return the favor.
That is so nice of your generous friend. Yeah people should work hard to be debt free and later you can try to get those wonderful experiences where you are generous to pay for your friends.
How lovely that guy was to pay for you all. I’d love to be able to do that for my friends and family one day without having to think about the dreaded debt situation! I would have been exactly the same worrying about splitting the bill as in most cases, one person has about 5 times as much as everyone else! So glad you got to enjoy yourself. And well done on the huge debt repayment. 🙂
Our generosity in giving to the total strangers, especially to the poor is the correct measurement of our compassion and unselfishness. I know a friend who will talk about the most expensive liquor he drinks. But another friends who was too tight in spending money for his own needs, but giving to the needy. Generosity without expecting anything in return is a divine nature and JESUS has taught it very emphatically to be generous. Out of the 7 billion people in the world, 1.2 billion are living with $ 1.25/day. In the U.S. , out of the 310 million people, 16% (around 50 million) are in food stamp. After meeting all our wants, we will never help anybody, but if watch our spending and try to help somebody who is desperately in need of food or clothes or paying some other emergency bills, then we are generous, and GOD ALMIGHTY will reward us greatly from some unexpected sources.
Thanks for your comment. Sometimes good surprises come from surprising places.